Things Ole Sarge, Dad, Coach has Said to You

I forgot about that one. My dad told me that was well. He also said the two most important words in marriage are "Yes, Dear".

 

To me from dad at age 6: you are the reason for all my problems, while pointing a rifle at my head, mom with my 2 younger brothers running to the car.

You are not normal, I am a lefty, left eye dominant and left handed, watching me throwing a baseball, he got up and walked away. I stopped trying to play ball.

After returning from deployment for 8 months, looked at me and said get out of my sight I have nothing to say to you.

He would pay teenagers to beat me to a pulp when I was 10. Some would, some would not but give me a heads up about it.

Last time he ever tried to hit me, I caught him with a upper cut and set him on his ass, I was 15, had been working as a farm hand for 2 years, in the time I got bigger and stronger, let him know if he ever touched me or mom again I would put him in the ground, and walked away. Had to sleep with one eye open after that for a while tho LOL...

Theres more, but you get the idea. He is a petty, small mean spirited person who blames everyone else for his failures. I turned out more like mom, thankfully. She died in 2010, I have not spoken to him since then, his choice, he has nothing to do with my brothers or his grandkids.

I had a lot of issues I had to work thru on my own in my late teens and early 20s, one of the reasons I never married, I pretty much suck at relationships, thanks dad.

 

That's rough. Glad you're not like him.

 

Ya it was, but I vowed to do my best to not be like him. Thank you

 

@RLHOK looks like you lived this one.

 

indeed.

 

Same here. My parents taught me exactly how not to be a parent. Never knew my father, was raised by my mom and stepdad. I was 16 the first time I put him on his ass.
Haven’t spoken to them in years and they live two miles away.

 

damn sorry to hear that

 

A friend of mine once said "Some people should be shot... Others should have been shot into a sock."

She's not wrong.

 

I don’t know if I agree with not dating a chick with a bigger ass than me. I have a cowboy butt, which means I have no butt. But I agree with everything else LOL.

One thing my dear old dad said to me when I was about 14, he has since passed so it’s a memory. We were at a diner in Nebraska, very attractive waitress. My dad leans over and tells me, I would lick her butthole. I about lost my shit! That just shows the type of stuff the old sailor would tell me. Of course afterwards he would say, I probably shouldn’t say that type of stuff to you.

He also told me how to be a gentleman, always open the door for ladies, take your hat off when you’re sitting at the table, take your sunglasses off when you shake hands, and make eye contact. He was a biker dude that wasn’t afraid to go and hug his best friend, and give him a smack on the lips because he was comfortable with himself. A real man’s man. The list goes on with a similar narrative.

 

I'd wade through a mile of her $hit just to see where it came from . . .

 

You don't see that much around anymore, ladies with short shorts

 

“ You’ll be fine.... rub some dirt on it!”....... 1970.

“ All you are is another jockstrap”....Coach 1980.

 

Dad said, "Study now or you'll be picking up dog shit when you grow up."

 

Grandpa: “you don’t have any kids yet?”
14yr old me: “No”
Grandpa: “you ain’t having enough sex then”


Dad: “if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you have to make an ugly women your wife”

Dad: “righty tighty lefty Lucy”

Dad: (every hot girl jogging by) “look at at that over there boy”

 

A couple Dad quotes:

"A man can go anywhere, do anything in this world with a good knife and a good pair of boots" I'm not kidding!

"That politician is talking out both sides of his ass". Heard that one all the time.

He was a really smart, hardworking, tough guy in his prime and a good dude!

 

I’m not. Better off without em.

 

It was so cold I was shivering like a dog $hitting barbed wire . . .

 

The more ya know, the less ya gotta carry ............

 

Driving instructions: Just keep it 'tween the mustard and the mayo.

 

Various sayings before departures. The first one was from my Dad when I was like 5. The others are just some I've picked up.

"...and we're off, like a dirty shirt."

"I'm gonna make like a fetus, and head out."

"...and like a bloody tampon; we're out."

 

When we're in a confused state;

What's my name ?

I'm kinda like a pregnant lady ~ I don't know what I want . . .



Soldering is a lot like Bull $hit.
It's not how thick you lay it on, it's how much of it that sinks in . . .

 

I can relate. Totally.

 

Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't pet a burning dog.
Don't play leapfrog with unicorns.

Don't remember the guys name Capt so or so my Company Co when I was younger but I still use them for safety briefs.

 

Coach: Defense wins games!

Me: "How do you spell, xxxxx"?
Dad: "Look it up!"
Still pisses me off!!!

Grandad, Dad and others:
- You say you're gonna do it, then do it.
- You start something, you finish it.
- Never quit!
- We're burning daylight
- It's wherever you left it!
- The only thing open after midnight is bars and women's legs, and you don't need to be in either one!
- Tell your mom you enjoyed dinner!
- Get the doors/ seats for women. Women first!
- (back before remote locks) Son, you unlock and open the woman's door first. If she reaches over and unlocks your door before you walk around, keep her!!
- You get way you pay for
- Go ask your mother
- Don't make me pull this car over!
- I've never seen a turd roll up hill
- Aim small, miss small
- Deep breath in (for four), out slow (4,3) hold, settle, squeeze.
- FRONT SITE POST!!!
- You're rushin' your shot brother!

 

Shit man. That’s an awful childhood. Never did understand how someone could do the likes of that to their own flesh and blood.

 

Dad:

“Work comes before play”

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

“It ain’t a piano”

Old boss:

“He’s a good shit. If you like shit”

“She’s old enough to go to the store. Old enough to get bread.”

Instructor at a training course a couple years ago:

“The last guy here is late, ‘cause everyone else is waiting for you.”

(Guy was 10 min ahead of scheduled start time)

 

No good deed goes unpunished.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.

 

No matter what happens to you, Son, good, bad, right, wrong, fair, unfair, whatever: you are responsible for you.

What a great lesson from my dad: it means, "You are not a victim; You have the power to control and direct your own life."

 

Only when he was home, rest of the time it was pretty good.

As I said the problems were/are his, he just focused the blame on me, never my younger brothers, since I was the oldest and the one that ruined his life, yes I was the "oops I am pregnant child" at the age of 17. I can remember other guys on the boat telling him off about how he treated me, he would go off on them. His choices not mine.