Things Ole Sarge, Dad, Coach has Said to You

Hmmmmmm, from my grandad

"sometimes you just gotta feed the monkey and watch him shit"
"everyone get religious near the end"
"you look as strong as an ox and I bet twice as smart"
"it's awfully easy for ugly people to be virtuous"

they've helped me my whole life

 

Dad's dry humor from late in his life when he was on the pot.

"Hey kid, I'm on the john and forgot my cane. Can you bring me my John McCane"

 

Dad: you’re never as smart as you think you are.

Coach: start early and finish late!

 

This is a great thread BTW, not a day goes by that I don’t recall something my dad or coach said that has had an impact on me throughout life...

 

Godfather, Uncle Mike, gave me a book and said "Most everything you need to succeed is in this book." He gave me HIS old BoyScout Handbook, many decades ago.

We terrorized our ScoutMasters. Thank God for the DIs and the Scout Masters.

 

My grandma used to tell me that I was as sharp as a marble

 

My dad used to say, "son there are no atheists on the battlefield."
"You can learn from an asshole. Even if it's what not to do."
When it came to the ladies he told me, "why make one miserable when you can make 'em all happy!"
I sure do miss him...
Football coach would say, "suck it up! Pain is temporary, pride is forever!"

 

“They’re all pink on the inside”

 

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

 

Father told me once: If you're out doing stupid things, don't make yourself conspicuous.

 

You can be part of the solution or part of the problem ~ which side ya gonna get on ?

 

SSGT Royster from 1st Platoon, hated our 4th platoon and made our lives hell, which it turns out made our lives better.

He didn't have to say anything. His lats were so huge they each hid a Beretta 92 w/o a print.

If he did say anything it was usually "Front lean and rest position, MOVE!" He'd leave us there for an hour, come back later.

 

Treat her better than I treated your mother, but not as good as I treat your stepmother.

I swear God doesn't want me to be good at golf. He just laughs at me.

I can pick up a brand new chainsaw and it'll break before I even start it.

 

From my dad - I passed this one on to my boys too when they were little: "Don't be like Mommy, be like Pop, when you go to pee, raise the top!"

 

From my dad:

"Work first, play later."

"If you want to be treated like a king, treat your woman like a queen."

"Make sure the woman you marry is your best friend."


From my uncle:

"If you find yourself in a fair fight, you're doing something wrong."


From an ex-military friend of mine:

"Prior planning prevents piss poor perfomance"

"Weapon, gear, yourself." - basically the order in which you clean up after a mission, work, trip etc. Ensures that all your things are ready to go again at a moment's notice before you hop in the shower or crash on the couch.

 

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast

 

"Now that you've stacked the firewood re-stack it over there" Dad

 

From Dad:
1. Pick your battles, don't charge every windmill.
2. Not everything is worth fighting for.
3. You can do and put up with anything for one day.
4. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Various acquaintances:
1. I don't want to hear about your labor pains, just show me the baby.
2. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
3. Your word is your bond.

 

One that I've heard that I take to heart.

Does it really matter? Is this a hill you're willing to die on.

 

"Company Christmas parties are not the place to have fun." -Dad

 

Life is like a monkey f***ing a football. Sometimes your the monkey; sometimes your the football, but it's never pretty.

 

Dad: "show me your friends and I will tell you what kind of person you are"

 

When it comes to marriage,
You can be right or you can be happy......................think about it.

 

Mine would get so upset when he couldn't find it, now I'm the same way

 

It's gonna feel really good when it quits hurtin' . . .

 

https://youtu.be/B2VceV6T9AU