I'm getting old

Thanks so much, where does the time go?

 

No time, like the currant time, to check the time, and look back at time, in the rear view mirror.

Oops,Your out of time...same time next year?
Hope it was a Good Time.

 

That was a waste of time.

 

Posted this before i think...(not my pic)...but this is what i remember the hot setup was for us, minus the goofy gas pedal.

 

I spent some time using a chainsaw to cut 2 feet off a palm tree stump that I'm chipping away at. Now my left hand hurts from gripping the chainsaw. (No innuendo there)

 

An old man and old woman were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, when the old woman said "you know, we've been having breakfast at this table for 50 years now."

The old man replied "Yeah, and if I remember right, 50 years ago we'd have been sitting at this table having breakfast NAKED!"

They both chuckled at the memory, then a few moments of silence passed. Finally the old woman said "Well, how about it?"

"How about what?"

"Do you wanna get naked?"

"Sure, why not!"

So they both stripped down, and a few more moments of silence went by before the old woman exclaimed "You know, honey, my nipples are as hot for you now as they were 50 years ago!"

The old man looked at her and said "Well it's no wonder... one of 'em is in your coffee, and the other one is in your oatmeal!"

 

Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out."

"Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible".

The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig. The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."

 

​

 

You should’ve seen the look on the faces of everyone else at that Waffle House!

 

Ageing will happen faster than you would have ever imagined so have fun while you can, but never lose respect for others, regardless of their age...

 

My Mom just turned 72 last week.
She would tell everyone of us that we’re never too old to get a whoopin.



I’ve never pressed her on whether she really would or not... I already know!!

 

Indeed! I used to tell my father that I'm pretty sure I could never 'take' him (if you get my drift) unless he were on his deathbed - and that held true! Vietnam Vet, had a few strokes and ended up in the hospital 5 Jan 2019; found out a week later he had brain, stomach and lung cancer, and a week later he was walking through the Pearly Gates.

BUT proud to say I was right - I STILL would not have messed with him prior to going into the hospital. LOL The doc that took care of him told me "I've been a doctor 35 years, and I *thought* I knew what tough was until your father was admitted here; NO one I've ever met came anywhere close to how much your father could handle."

 

True story
My family owned a restaurant years ago, I'd like to say it was a bit upscale and we had nice clientele. It was situated on a lake so it also drew in crowds who were probably better off going through a drive thru.
So one Sat evening we had a situation brewing with a "Redneck" (Yeah I know right?!) who was pissed he had to wait for a table. My Dad was trying to defuse the situation, the folks he was with were embarrassed and the "conversation" moved outside the front door.

So it's drunk Redneck, my Dad and Me just outside the front door, Redneck is cussing us out like he owns us and about this time Mr Reid and his lovely Bride walks up on the way in. Mr Reid at that time was probably in his late 70s, early 80s. He holds the door for his Bride and he stays outside. Mr Reid then reached for Redneck's right arm and took a hold of him. The man had a granite grip when you shook his hand.

"Son, you need to watch your language, there are ladies here." Mr Reid said.
To which redneck replied "Eff you old man!" and proceeded to take a swing at Mr Reid.

Before my Dad or I could could react, Mr Reid landed a sharp jab with his right and the Redneck went down for the count. I only saw the punch on the return...
You see, Mr Reid was a professional boxer back in the 40s. When he retired from NY he bought a franchise of Huddle Houses in SC and was known for clearing them out if things got rowdy on Sat Night.
Redneck's friends were very apologetic as they poured Redneck in the back of the car and left.
Mr Reid and his Bride? They ate for free that night.

Point of the story? Look for rednecks getting knocked out by old Men, it's freakin hilarious.

Edit: I had the wrong Al Reid linked.

 

Blessed Vet. RIP

 

Haha... if you ever listen to Hank Jr... A Country Boy will Survive! That is Troof! At least down here in Tejas.

 

Just the fact that you even entertained the possibility of wearing anything made by Sketchers has launched you into your twilight years. RIP

FYI, you can get a kickass pair of Adidas UltraBoost sneakers that slip on easily. They're almost like a sock at the shoe entrances, and the upper is made of wool. I have to tie them maybe once a week. The laces are just a formality unless you're going running. They're super comfortable. Pricey, but I'm about to end up in my 4th pair and they're worth every penny.

 

100 fights in 6 years as a pro? Good lord. He was lucky he could remember his name at that point.

 

You know what they say about that generation. He was a BA.

 

Probably jumped from his boxing career right into WW2. The years work out. I bet that dude is still out here somewhere, 105 years old.

Edit: Died is 1993.

 

Ya know. I was reading through here and and saw this again and it reminded me of my grandpa. Did the last 5 months of the European campaign in a German prison camp in Dresden after capture during the battle of the bulge. Lost 80lbs, surviving sometimes on nothing more than water and one raw potato a day. Their captors were starving too. He never held it against them. And he loved the japanese because they made a great engine for his dodge caravan..LOL

 

I'm only 30 and been wearing these for years. If you can think of another brand that will sell me two pairs of comfortable shoes that will last years for $70, I'm all ears.

 

Appreciating heated seats more now adays...

 

I have T-shirts that are older than the women I date.

 

Now when I wake up in the morning I have to decide which part hurts today. Neck, knees, back, ankles, shoulders, hands.
I have to think how many days ago church was to figure out what day it is.
Some times I get a feeling like I need to go “collecting” because I threw three newspapers as a kid. Maybe I should anyways. Our government doesn’t help.
Now my wife has the same ailments I had a few years ago. I tell her welcome to my world.
When your Pharmacist knows you by name and knows what you take, your old.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way, except the pain part.That sucks.

 

My 74 yo father-in-law says he hopes he doesn't live long enough to "get old." I like his attitude.