I'm getting old

I've been buying Hawaiian shirts lately.

I have grown to really like loafers and boat shoes.

I've been seriously considering selling my GTI and buying an LS460 lately (probably a 2015, maaaaaaybe f sport)

I haven't heard a new hip hop song that I could appreciate in years, maybe a decade.

I've started wearing shorts that are cut above the knee.

Sometimes I get pretty sore after a day of wrenching and wonder if I will be able to live out my retirement dream of building cars in 30 years.

I've grown a real appreciation for plants and spend more time in my backyard than in my garage lately.

Every once in a while I've gotta wipe my ass, and I didn't take a shit.

Anybody else in my boat?

 

Just think, it only gets worse each day you live til you die, and that’s if you even make it to old age.

 

Welcome to the club

 

Sounds familiar:

I bought my last 5 shirts at Costco.

I just sold my adventure motorcycle.

I know the words to the Paw Patrol songs more than I know any recent music.

I test cargo shorts to make sure they fit my phone securely before buying them, at Costco.

I had to get an MRI of my shoulder. First time I heard the word arthritis.

Built a raised planter in the back. I actually care about my green onions.

For the last one... nope. Get that checked out by a doctor

 

Welcome to the party. I too have considered a LS460/500, am arthritic, get up early, and 11pm is late. I'm retired but a gun range needed a cranky war vet so I work three days a week. I'll open but refuse to close. I break rules occasionally.

My point is the perks. Old guys have many, and I'm merely scratching the surface.

 

Tell me more about these perks. I have planning to do.

 

Yup, even after paying off the truck I could afford mods without using credit cards but now I’m like “what’s the point?”, I don’t need 35s right now my stock AT tires do just fine” (insert more “I don’t need mods” here). I wear shorts most of the time even in winter, I barely buy anything because I love keeping money in my account(for a landcruiser heritage I plan on buying, dont tell my wife), I do spend most of my money on food though but that’s a necessity

 

Not THAT old!
Plenty of Sanuks though

 

That might apply to me but I d never admit to it

 

There was a lot of hesitation there believe me

 

Never! I like my socks how I like my truck, BLACK!

 

I bought 2 polo shirts and 4 pairs of shorts there last month. I don't buy the cargos though because I hate having flaps on my pockets.

 

Birkenstock’s with grey woolies. Cement grey woolies.

 

Might be acceptable in the harsh California Winter. Those Crocs do act as a flotation device if you fall into water, problem is they only make your feet float.

 

Shit, the cashier at the grocery store today not only didn't card me for the booze, she gave me the senior discount without even asking or me mentioning it.

Must have been the gray in my beard sticking out from the mask.

 

Well... Let's start with domestics. Wife will encourage you/support hiring out for hard labor in the back yard, as she's concerned you'll stroke out. You can take naps without excuses. You are given considerable slack in the memory and hearing department. You'll get support for eating earlier and she'll actually understand your lack of enthusiasm for having people over at the house. You can get lost for hours on end in the garage. Your toys get less numerous but more expensive. You get support and assistance when looking for your glasses to read. Your day trips consist of exercise that doesnt contain labored breathing and excellent food because the cheap crap gives you heartburn. Etc.. I could keep going, and I'm only 50.

Work is another benefit. Any labor intensive or silly tasks go the youngsters. You can play mind games with the owner and win. You don't care if your fired as you'll delete the job from your work history. You can bullshit with customers all day and people love you for it. Etc etc etc. That's some quick benefits.

 

You remind me of Boyd Coddington, hot rod builder.

I’m no spring chicken either.

“Old Guys Rule”!! & Die trying!!
Nothing wrong with gardening.

 

I was watching some episodes of That 70’s Show on Netflix the other day, and realized that if I had to pick one of the cast that is most like me, it would be...


..Red Forman!

 

Funny you say that. I bought 2 Hawaiian shirts last weekend and remembered how he wore one every day and I never wanted to be one of those guys. You know the type, they wear Hawaiian shirts and white hats, drive corvettes in the slow lane, lots of khaki shorts.

Glad I don't like corvettes. My boss sent me a white hat in the mail last week and I found it unusually comfortable. Fawk!

 

Oh yeah, the last time I bought a dozen donuts for the family, I only ate a plain one and a buttermilk one. A few years ago I would inhale the chocolate bar and a Bavarian cream.

 

I’ve worn many hats, but never a white one. At least you’re boss cares about you.

 

Only worn it in my house and in my backyard. I'm afraid to wear it outside, might find myself buying golf clubs if I do.

 

Honey Crullers are now my fav.

 

Getting old...
Please.

Wait until the songs you rocked to at the Club or in your car in your youth are playing at the grocery store..

Wait until your kids are in their mid 20s and don't call you anymore unless they need something..

Wait until you're thinking "the world is going to sh!t' like your parents did when you were little.

Wait until you walk thru the house asking yourself 'why are all these lights on?".

Wait until you are groaning when you bend down (or get up in the morning) and every joint hurts for no reason.

Wait until you walk into a room and can't remember why you walked into it.

Wait until you get gray hairs in your eyebrows.

Wait until you have stray hairs growing off your ears.

Wait until you see someone you've known for 25 years, that you haven't seen in awhile, and you can't remember their name, then you think of it 2 weeks later.

Wait until you talk with someone that doesn't know what a cassette tape is, or an 8-track tape, or an LP God forbid.

Wait until you fall asleep before 10 PM without realizing it..

Wait until you have to get a colonoscopy on a regular basis.

Wait until you even think or care about; what your blood pressure or blood sugar is.

Wait until you start considering going on/to a 'no children' cruise/resort for a vacation destination.

Wait until you've gained 30 pounds and you haven't changed ANYTHING in your diet.


You damn kids...