From The Desk of Mike Sweerg

The white one looks good but the candy apple red ones are doofy. Candy apple red paint mixed with the gray and black plastic and brushed and polished chrome is painful to look at

 

Mr. Sweerg:

In an effort to compete with the new Ford Lightning, may I recommend an all-electric Tundra.
Using 26-inch chrome spinning wheels should have enough inertia to recharge the batteries to a level sufficient for a run to Costco.

 

Have you thought about making a completely chrome car?
Not only will it look excellent and very high end, but you could also use plastic body panels that have the chrome coating on them. This will save a ton of weight which will help improve gas mileage.

 

I move to promote greatlakes for this game changer. May also also be able to convert the spinners to fan blade wind turbines for the hippies that dint want to use power to drive the truck to create the inertia

 

This question is for the new Tundra Tailgate Design & Engineering Team.

What is their preferred psychedelic design enhancement drug?

 

The new tailgate looks fugly. I want to see more pics of it before I truly judge but I have no idea what they were thinking.

 

If you use the right psychedelic the overall appearance will pop out at you like nothing you've ever seen before....

 

Nascar Tailgate spoilers that hang out past the 87 piece bumper come standard with the TTV6

 

Mr. Sweerg sir,
Our original auto-masking headrests were blinding the driver. We found the fix.... Clear plastic allows the driver to still see through the mask. There are some kinks to work out still, such as breathing, but if we get this on the market first I think it could be a great selling point.

 

Black Wolf,

All members of the design team are encouraged to experiment with LSD and bath salts while at work.

Mike Sweerg

 

Greatlakes,

That is an excellent idea, and the engineering team for electric propulsion is looking into it now.

The styling/design team wants to know if under carriage lighting or even spinner mounted lighting is also desired?

Please advise.

Mike Sweerg

 

Bsktball55,

I am going to have to ask you to take that photo of the 2022 Tundra Platinum trim down. It’s not supposed to be revealed to the public.

Mike Sweerg

 

Bikeric,

Another good concept, you must be angling for the employee of the year award and the annual subscription to Cheeses of the World that goes with it!

Please refine this a bit with a version for children and pets. Maybe incorporate a feed line into the hoods to introduce some “Sleepy Time” breathing gas?

Mike Sweerg

 

My God that is fugly....

Good thing I plan to keep the 2014 for at least 7 or 8 more years.
2 things should happen in the time;
1. Toyota will see the error of their ways and redesign the Tundra.
2. I'll die before I get rid of the 2014.

Either way I'll win....

 

S

Speaking of cheese, I'd like to see the Pro's come out with the Hawkins Cheezie's color. Way better than Inferno IMHO.

 

Maybe make this the interior to match....

 

That would be ideal......

 

I'm on board for under carriage lighting so long as it changes colors and pulses with the beat of the music. That will be a great visual indicator of when the bass is droppin' since our users can't actually hear any from our lackluster JBL stereo.

 

You're always 2 steps ahead of the rest of us Sir!!
We have no problem with the dog mask, but the children have been putting up a fight. We tried to play a movie on the Adobe Infotainment headrest but it has been in an update. Nevermind, infotainment is showing the mov......and it's updating again. I'll get back with you shortly.

 

Team,

Bikeric has had a breakthrough in getting the Adobe software in the headrest media players to manage to play some media, and not just permanently update.

This is a monumental breakthrough!

Keep up the good work, and all hands on deck figuring out a child tamper proof plastic hood with Sleepy Time®️ napping gas. This will be a game changer for Tundra owners with children.

Mike Sweerg

 

Chrome delete would be a real pain in the ass...

 

Team,

OK so just got out of a meeting with the legal department, and the team that calculates warranty costs, claims, etc.

We had an emergency meeting to discuss the new updated GM 1/2 ton offering. Namely the 13.4” screen they are introducing, and the 13,300lb tow rating of the new Silverado.

As you know we’re about to unveil the new Tundra for 2022 this month. Rest assured we will beat GM at this numbers game on towing, and have a good marketing strategy for our smaller center screen on the Tundra.

1.) Toyota Tundra will be rated to tow 208,000oz. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but this is all just marketing, it’s really only 13,000lbs. We know our customers won’t actually ever tow anything, they just like seeing a big number and they’re too stupid to realize we just changed the unit of measure to make it look bigger. Just like I do on dating apps.

2.) We will advertise our screen in centimeters. Again our customers are dumb as hell, and they’ll just see a larger number and be happy.

So stay on message everyone, and keep up the good work.

Mike Sweerg

 

Mr Sweerg,
I'm thinking an optional in cab Cpap machine would be a good add with the new tunny design.....

 

Agreed, I also suspect an optional built in vape pen would be popular with many of our customers. Maybe package it with interior upholstery made by “Affliction ™️“ I think it would be very sought after.

Mike Sweerg

 

Quite frankly a Defibrillator should be standard with all trim levels......

 

Especially when they see what the price of a new Tundra will be!

Mike Sweerg

 

I was going to recommend a top o dash Tundra shaped Chia Pet but the IMAX screen would ruin the aesthetic value....

 

This would be a great color choice exclusive to our Canuck fan base...

 

Lol... This thread showed up today as a card in my Google news feed.

 

Team,

One of our dealers, unable to resist not being the center of attention for more than 3 minutes, has managed to leak a screen shot of the partial options list for higher trim 2022 Tundra pickup trucks. You may have seen this by now:



Most of this information is not sensitive in nature ahead of launch but there is one item that the public, and those sub human scum in the automotive media will no doubt notice: The optional “Power Running Borads” on the 1794 edition.

So we might as well get ahead of all the speculation. Some will assume this is a typo and we meant to list power running boards. That is not the case. This is Toyota’s answer to Tesla’s self driving software, as well as GM’s similar offering. However, this is not a software program, instead Toyota Motor North America has arranged a visa work program to import inexpensive Eastern European, and western Asian men mostly from former Soviet Block countries. Mainly Kazakhstan.

Since Borad is a common given name for many men in those areas we just call them all Borad. They are paid a flat fee for 5 years of indentured service acting as chauffeurs. Customers need not worry every 1794 Tundra with a Power Running Borad option, includes living quarters for their Borad so they won’t have to be allowed in the house.

We feel this is superior, and less expensive than fully automated vehicles at this time. Plus it is a way to expand the cultural experience of both 1794 owners and their chauffeurs. It is a win win.

Only a week to go before the big reveal!

Thanks Everyone!

Mike Sweerg