What would you say to this person?

As much as I would love to say, "back up and teach that sumbitch a lesson" chances are he's an asshat looking for an insurance scam. This looks entirely too close not to be intentional.

I'd get his shit towed.....but then again, there's another option....I'd just call the closest buddy/relative that has a truck and get him to pull the car out a bit then bring the buddy/relative out for a beer or two as a token of my appreciation.

Still like to ram this douche's grille

 

he loves you...I think...

 

If I was 20 years ago I would find the nearest trash can put it though the windshield then back up and leave. But that would b 20 years ago just saying

 

maybe go get yourself a valve stem remover. only costs a couple bucks and won't cause any damage but sure a pain in the ass for whoever has to deal with getting their car fixed....until the guy at the tire shop takes the cap off and sees no stem.

 

I think I would call a dozen of my big friends and pick the thing up and move it back to the NO Parking area then call a traffic cop and have them come over and ticket the good ol boy!!!

 

Stand on my rear bumper and urinate on as much of the car as possible. Range depends of course on now much I've have to drink. Then drag the car, one way or another, into the middle of the street. Problem solved.

 

You don't even need s valve stem tool. A small pebble, put cap back on, slow leak. 4 small pebbles??????
No damage. W cameras, maybe vandalism??
Time to get a long-ish hitch. It'll at least give you some wiggle room, or a push point.
A buddy w a shackle and strap could make some space, but how busy are your friends and how busy is street.
It's front w drive, so floor jack is iffy. Trans, and parking brake. Depends how motivated and creative you are.
It would be super satisfying though if you had an aftermarket plate bumper to push him or her, back.

 

Is it the angle the first photo is taken, or is the front plate of the other car not touching your hitch? If contacting, report it for what it is - a rear ender, and leaving the scene.

I'm pretty sure it's touching by the way his plate / frame are bent out on the far top corner.

 

Looks like he has a couple small scrapes on his passengers side front.
Open did you wait for the driver or what did you do?

 

Just Austin Powers your way out.

 

I have a couple of those A-holes on my street. Directly in front of my place there is enough parking for 3 cars with room to move. These dicks take up 3 spots with 2 cars. If I didn't live on a hill I'd pull out my 3 ton jack and move their cars for them.

 

Do exactly what @Law323 said...Just make sure you pull them back into the No Parking area, then call the Police to come give them a ticket for illegally being parked.
Then they'll have ticket fee and perhaps a reversal of the fortunes on the ins.

If you really want to get them....put a gal of diesel in their tank first. That way as soon as they pick it up from being towed...dead.

 

This is why you have 430 gearing with a 5.7 engine truck is made for pushing and pulling. His drivers door would have a nice size dent in it also

 

Tow it brother!

 

I've never had that problem but people here tend to park right on my passenger side door... I get out there and i'm like boy I hope they didnt have a passenger... then get home or pull out a bit (gigidy) and check for door dings.... bah! nothing drives me more nuts! and the crazy part is they have TONS of space on the other side... and im parked PERFECT! bah blood is boiling!

 

By the looks of it, he is already touching your hitch. I would call the cops for a hit and run.

 

Just to give an update and some background, this happened in my neighborhood and since I have another car I was ok but this guys parking job still had me miffed. Out of curiosity I called The D.C. Parking authority and they said the offender may or may not get a ticket but their needs to be a ticket before they can tow. Not very helpful. This morning I see a guy illegally park behind this guy so now he's blocked in. Come to find out that it's some young 20 something year old that doesn't know how to park. He's sitting in his car on his laptop when I tap on the glass and rather than yell at him I decided to keep it cool. I pointed at my truck and asked if he wanted me to move up. The look on his face told me that he knew he messed up. He sheepishly says "no it's alright" so I shrug and say ok. 45 min later He's still waiting in his car for the guy behind him to move. I guess karma does exist.

 

Can you legally do this? The car is not yours and is on public property. Yes, it's blocking you but does it justify the tow?

 

Well done!!! Saved yourself more headaches and got your point across.

 

Unfortunately you can't fix stupid!

 

You handled that with class..I bet he will think twice next time.

 

So frustrating but at least you handled it the right way.

 

One word, he/she is a c*nt.

As someone else said 4x4 L and push them back. Tough shit if you leave a dent in their crappy car.