Toyomafia - The Clubhouse. 151.880

Good morning, goodfellas.

Monday motivational:

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. Show them you can’t.

 

I didn’t clean it after removing the severed finger of the previous owner.

 

You heard right.

 

Pretty sure you’re winning now.

 

Isn’t the Warry’s Weiner Wagon slogan “Home of the Cleaner Weiner”?

 

You all just need to assume I “liked” the pics, if I click the button and Mrs. Bandito finds out she’ll start sharpening the cow castrators again…

I told you she’s mean.

 

Is that better or worse than a weiner cleaner?

 

“Can’t” and “Won’t” are two of my most favorite contractions.

 

I think they go hand in hand.

 

This reminds me of my son using “bad words” out of context but still super cute.
“You just shit scared me!” Or
“Look at that ass big spider web”

 

My wife and I need to clean up our language so you'll often hear things in our house like "I'm in this big butt coat".

 

Do you have young kids as well?
This dude at work, and his wife are like sailors, even around their kids. I’m like
I only cuss so much because of you, get your wife in the mix and it’s out of control!

 

Yeah, our daughter is at the age where she understands what we're saying and seems to have a new word (or sound) every week or so.

 

My youngest who can’t speak yet, the first word he learned from his older brother was “why?”
Oh my lord!!! It’s a super sweet “why?” But he will respond with that all the time. I always try to at least explain why for his question, I know he doesn’t even know what or why he asking that

 

My 3 year old told my MIL "daddy says bad words and I do too". All because we were in the car and got cut off. I said "dumb move" and he repeated it. An hour later I dropped a box of cereal and he said dumb move. Haha. I told him that's not cool so dumb move is a bad word.

 

We try our best but my kids (5&8) have definitely heard a lot.

Funny story. My parents were the cool ones, even though my dad was strick as hell most of the time. When my brother and I were about 11-12, my dad had a couple of his squadron coins from his munitions dept for us (Airforce). The acronym on the coin is IYAAYAS, we both knew what it meant but at that point haven't cussed in front of our parents. They said if you want the coin you have to tell us what it means.

So there we go, "If You Ain't Ammo You Ain't Shit."
We all had a laugh and my dad flipped us the coins. Still remember it like it was yesterday, almost 30 years later.

 

My daughter was 3, I think and she was playing with some dolls while I was looking for an online family that could tolerate me (pre-ToyoMafia and Tundras.com). I heard her say in one voice "Hi Mommy!" and then in a deeper, meaner voice, she replied "I'm gonna beat your ass!"

I immediately yelled to Mrs. Bandito that she didn't get that one from me. Apparently, Mrs. Bandito was carrying our daughter down the stairs earlier that day and the cat almost made her trip, so Mrs. Bandito yelled out "I'm gonna beat your ass!"

I knew I was in the clear because I only use 4-letter or longer swear words. It's a reflection of my higher edumacation.

 

Anyone care to take a guess what Mrs. Bandito says to him when she reads this post?

 

I think my kid was around 3 when he did similar. He was at my in-laws when he dropped something on the floor and goes "Oh sh*t." My MIL knew that it was his mom that taught him that one. I guess the usage and inflection were scary similar. MIL was at least impressed that he used it the right way, lol.

Now when he drops his first f-bomb, that's on me...

 

It’s cold in here

 

Mine was 2, we were in the kitchen and I musta grumbled about too many wash clothes in the sink, ya know, cuz more than one isn’t ok. Anyways he’s on someone’s lap and says “Rags, fuckin rags”. We just laughed and I was a bit more careful with the F bomb until he was old enough to know I can say it but he can’t.

 

My daughter is 18 now and she doesn't swear. She said I do it enough for both of us.

 

This drone is eyeballing the shit out of me.
Totally unrelated question, how does one dispatch a drone in public.

 

Always wrap sandwiches in aluminum foil, then you can use it to throw over said drone to block its signal. After that wrap it up like it’s a football, take it into the ocean and throw it around a bit, making sure the salt water gets into the electronics, then dump it off a bridge on your way home