Toyomafia - The Clubhouse. 151.880

There is honestly no better feeling than telling a room full of people, each individually, to eat shit.

 

Y'all don't have Roomstores up there?

 

I’d really like to know the number of folks working retail with failed porn careers.

 

I don’t think so, I think there are like two others in town, but I’ve never been inside, so I could be making this up, but canes and courisau I think sell furniture and some random mom and pop shops

 

There was this one ups clerk! It was like a train wreck! I told the tatted up navy guy we work with about her, she had a bunch of ink too. But I don’t think he’s fake mailed a package yet

 

This makes me think of the new Amazon delivery questions when checking out.

…
Would you like these packages delivered in one day in separate packages or 5-10 days in one package?

 

You’re like a baby tomato trying to catchup

 

I was gonna add " @MARanger probably knows what I'm talking about." Missed opportunity.

When I was a Senior in High School, my parents l had to go downstate and left me the house for a week. I ended up throwing a 5-day party. We had people from 3 surrounding counties show up. I had set up a redneck valet parking where a buddy of mine who's parents had a mini van would have people follow him downtown and park their car and then he'd drive them back up to my house. The cops knew there was a party but they couldn't figure out where it was. It was GENIUS. We had so much trash but another buddy had a pickup truck and his parents owned a bakery so he had dumpsters. He was in charge of the trash disposal.

So about 3 months later, Prom rolls around and I came home from somewhere. My dad is pissed. He said the just got a call from a DNR officer who said he was going to arrest him if he didn't come get the trash he dumped on state property. Turns out my buddy decided to just go dump the trash in the woods instead of at his parents dumpster. Unfortunately there were a bunch of pizza boxes with our phone number on it. I picked it all up (and yelled at my friend). Good times.

 

something to look forward to, other than more fukin snow!

 

Yuck

 

Happens a lot, we can only hope to find a phone number or receipt. Sometimes we get lucky and find junk mail with an address and name

 

I know that feeling. It was 80 a couple days ago then dropped back to the 50s and 60s again. I hate having to turn the heat on to take the chill out in the morning.

 

Yeah, it sucked. But looking back, it was pretty funny. I can't believe the dipshit dumped all of the trash back there. There were a lot of those plastic beer kegs that were see-through. Looked like giant plastic balls. Can't remember what they were called.

 

Fortunately my parents were doing some remodeling so we had a dumpster. My dad just basically said "Go clean it up." and never said a word to me about it again. I think he knew I wasn't dumb enough to do something like that. At the very least, I would have removed the pizza boxes.

 

Beer balls, I believe.

 

Damn party ball

 

It was 73 around 2. At 3:30, Mrs Bandito comes home and says it's cold. I looked, and it was 51.

 

Shit, that makes sense.

 

These were bigger than that. Or maybe I was smaller.

 

yeah, the Bud ones were big.
Some other brands used the same ball.

 

That's it!

 

That's ok, in about two months this shit will start melting, then my weather forecast will look like that

 

dude slinging that full size keg is strong!

 

He's like 7ft tall!

I also accidentally swigged down the worm from a Monte Alban tequila on the last night of partying. The big rumor at the time was the worm was pure alcohol and would kill you. So I'm blasted going "Holy shit! I drank the worm!" Another friend yells "Kill it with alchohol!" and I preceded to do shots. The rest of the night was kind of fuzzy, but I remember people stopping by the bathroom I was hanging over the toilet in telling me "Great party!"

Next morning was the day my parents were coming in. I found a dude passed out in the tub and had him help me clean up. I had to spackle the ceiling above our pool table. A fat dude named "Art" won a game, jumped in the air with the cue, and put it through the ceiling. So I made the best repair I could and held a blowdryer on it. There was a hole in the dining room wall where somebody leaned back in a chair... Fixed that too. The dude that was in the tub had fallen in and broken the shower curtain rod. As he was falling, he grabbed the sink and detached the plumbing.

I had my friend who dumped the garbage go out and get a shower curtain rod. It was too big so I had hacksaw it to the right size. I couldn't fix the sink so I just kind of pushed the pipes together so it would explode on the next person who used it.

Later that evening, when my parents got back, I heard my dad in the bathroom, swearing. Turns out he was the first one to use it. For about a week, my parents were walking around and finding things that I tried to fix. Finally, my mom just said "Joel. Show me everything." She vowed to never leave me home along again. She did like the new shower curtain rod.

I was back in town after I discharged from the Army - 10 years after the party and my buddy said people still talked about it.

 

Same

 

So he could have bought the wifey something from "Casting Couch/Recliner"? Lol

 

Extras included