The Campfire

Truth. My aunt, and niece showed up with a friend of my niece today. I'm now care taking for 5.5 people. The nieces friend is a damned pistol. I mean a real fire cracker. Pretty girl attitude, holier than thou, and sarcastic as fuck.

They showed up when I was about half lit. She popped off a couple times, and I found out just how argumentative she really was. Always has to have the last word, so after about 5 sentences exchanged I started giving her one word responses to all her Townie questions. She kept on, and then I just started nodding my head. I realized how dumb I looked getting into an argument about nothing of consequence with a 15 year old girl...

Eventually, she sweetened her tune towards me. She wasn't snappy, or shitty with me. Instead, she was treating me like a person. She still pops off some stupid shit, and some incredibly dumb shit. I just bite my lip again. Taking the high road. I'm not going to spoil the rest of our time here arguing over dumb stuff. Lol

 

So, this friend, is she hot and if so where are the damn pics?!


Unless this is a younger niece's friend and I just sound creepy. If so, forget I said anything.

 

Pretty sure he said she was 15…

 

Well shit, I missed that part. Now I am officially the creepy old guy.

 

In some cultures…

 

So I'm skootin down the four lane. Corn, bean, and wheat fields on my left, and right. I saw a funny sign up a head that I was going to take a picture of so I get my phone, and open the camera.

I position the camera, and hear "CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP" to my immediate right. I'm not exactly sure what the noise is, but as I pass this little knoll to my right, a helicopter with spray rig attached comes flying out over the road. Had to be 120 knots. He ascended to avoid some power lines, spun around over me, and then went right back into the field spraying more corn.

I almost shit myself at 65MPH. I managed to snap this picture.


Zoomed in photo below.

 

SICKO!!!

 

Got off work early. Went to gas station. Updated corolla virus petrol sheet. Went inside. Bought a pack of smokes, and flirted with the cashier. QT3.14.

I left, and got 5 miles down the road. Something told me to turn around. I can't explain it, but I just had to. So I turn around, and hit a black cat on an exit ramp. I stop, and back up down the ramp. I didn't see it, but I know I heard it bump on everything on the passengers side of the underneath. I figure it used one of its 9 lives. Usually if I hit something it's dead on impact.

"Well, that blows." I thought. So I choogle back down to the gas station. I go inside. Go to the bathroom, and empty my bladder. Wash my hands. Wet them. Soap them. Lather them. Go to rinse, and the stupid sensor thing doesn't pick up my hands. I try the other one. Doesn't pick up either. Bummer man. Eventually, I get the sink to read my hands. Dry off.

Walk up to the counter, and start talking to the cashier again. I explained "Listen, this is probably gonna sound crazy, but I was 5 miles down the interstate, and something told me to turn around. So here I am, if you'd like to go on a date sometime, I'd like to take you."

She said "Sometime? I'm always here. I'd have to find a baby sitter, and get away from here."

I read her face, and she wasn't as enthused as she was 10 minutes ago. So I said "Well, if you'd like I can give you my phone number. We can figure out a time that works for both of us, and get to know each other better later on."

She said "Phones broken. Sorry." I got the hint that time, and we exchanged our goodbyes. Here I am writing this out. Lol

Turd shift makes it real hard to find dates... only gas stations open when I get off makes it harder... not knowing where people my age go to "hang out" is even more challenging... lol

 

I think it is so awesome that you listened to your instincts and went back, most people would have convinced themselves not to. The fact that you were honest with her and told her why you came back makes me want to go out w/you (If I weren't already married) That right there shows the kind of person you are. It's her loss and missed opportunity is all I can say. What I can tell you is the right person will find you at the right time. Don't give up or stop being you.

 

Funny story:
I have a friend who is TERRIFIED of spiders. We worked together many years ago in a warehouse and one of our jobs was to clean all the cobwebs off of the upper windows. Needless to say this was not his favorite job and anxiety filled his bones the whole time. I did most of them, but he had to do a few. One day, after we were done with the task, he sat down to enter some items into the inventory. It was just after Halloween and I found a fake spider laying around and tied it on one end with a piece of string. I came up behind him, slowly dragged it across the back of his neck and rested it on his shoulder. When he looked and saw what it was, I swear I have never seen another person jump so high and move so fast in my life. He ran about 50 feet flailing about screaming before he saw me and our supervisor, who saw me do it, on the ground laughing our asses off. He wasn’t happy about it at the time, but had a good laugh later.

 

Thank you much for the kind words. I was on the fence, but as someone who used to struggle with social anxiety, or social gumption maybe? I struggled talking to people is what I'm getting at. I decided that I would never know if I didn't ask. So I decided to listen to my gut, and turn around.

I'm not sure what kind of person is out there for me, but she'll come 'round some time or another. I'm not stressing about it like I used to. The solidarity is nice, at times... other times, not so nice. Lol

 

You never know where you'll find love. I say I met The Woman through a mutual friend. It's technically true. She was dating a friend of mine. She and I got along but were nothing more than casual friends. For some reason my friend morphed into an idiot and his girl and I both got tired of dealing with his shit. I told him he was now a former friend, she told him he was now an ex-boyfriend. A month later she and I reconnected by chance, one thing led to another and we've been together for 7.5 years or so now.

 

I've found more good than bad also, and take solace in the fact that I am not alone. I'm proud of you Tyler! Once I get to talking, wheeling, and dealing, I'm generally "okay." I struggle with opening my big mouth without putting my size 13 shit kicker in it...

Momma, and Poppa have always said "You'll find it when you're not even looking for it. You'll know when it's right." I thought I had found it once. Perhaps that is a story for another day... Too much going on today to formulate, and rememberize such things.That one could be described as raunchy, saucy, and steamy. Too much for a Monday...

 

You got that right! Like my momma used to say, "be careful what you wish for". You just keep being you.

 

Boy howdy, last night was absolutely rowdy.

Arrived at the bonfire too late for corn hole, and food. They'd already started throwing broken wooden furniture in the blaze so u knew not to ask for any "schmoes." Plenty of drinks round, and some , but decided to pass on the latter. Quite a few good looking chicks there, but they all attended with their boyfriends. I thought it best not to start any shit with people I just met, and would like to meet again.

Wyatt handed me a small bottle of mostly empty bourbon. I polished it off for him and promptly chucked the empty bottle into the fire pit. At some point a beer was handed my way, and then another. A third was handed my way, but I passed because I knew I'd have to drive home. Asked for water. I went to the truck and got out my very doughy pepperoni rolls I'd bought from the local marathon brand servo.

The day walkers started to filter out about 10pm. We were all standing around the fire when the neighbors across the holler started hootin and hollerin. Then they lit off their fireworks show. It was professional grade and lasted for at least 15 minutes. Free.99 for us with front row seating. SCORE!

Stood around and talked in the dark for about half an hour. More day walkers started leaving, and then there were three. Chad, Wyatt, and I. We sat on Chad's front porch and discussed life, love, and the reason of for a few hours.

Round midnight, that Day walking Chad said he had to go night night. Wyatt, and I had been chewing on bread, and sipping water for about 2.5 hours at that point. I felt normal, and Wyatt is well... Wyatt. We looked at each other, and he said "Wanna come over for the real party?" "Sure!" I replied.

I took a right out of Chad's driveway taking backroads. Wyatt took a left. I drove slowly for about 30 minutes, and finally arrived at his house. I knew he'd think it was a race especially with that TURDPro Tacoma of his. He was waiting for me. He hit his high beams right in my face so I gave him ALL of my lighting action.

We went inside, and he busted out chips, and queso. Hell yeah! He busted out the big bottle of bourbon that he keeps in the freezer, and two shot glasses. He's meandering around the room, and I've already downed two shots. Eventually he sat down.

He booted up the OG FatBoi PS2, and then Star wars was on the screen suddenly. I decided to start paying more attention when he handed me a controller. Star wars Battlefront 2, split screen multi-player. HELL YES!

More shots were had. Then more. Then even more. We downed most of that big bottle. We quit playing Star wars, and started talking. Or trying to talk through all the slurring. More life, love, and the reason of.

He busted out the electric bass, and suddenly I was a very drunk, very captive audience to a very drunk, and very disoriented guitar player. At some point during the sick riffs being ripped on that bass guitar, I blacked out. I remember being on the couch while he was playing guitar, and this morning when I woke up I was on the kitchen floor. I came to, and rolled over. I looked up at the clock and it said 4.

Nodded back off, and then woke back up at 5. I got up out of the floor about 5:30. I found Wyatt slumped over the toilet. I helped him up, and asked if he had any Tylenol. He said "I thought you died." I told him that I wasn't that fucked up last night, but evidently you were fucking smooshed.


He handed me a bottle of ibuprofen, and then angrily went to bed. I'm not sure if he knew who I was this morning, but we are both definitely hung the hell over. I laid on the couch for about an hour waiting for my head to quit pounding. Walked outside in the morning sunshine, and basked like a lizard.

 

No way I could party with you. I wouldn't be able to keep up!

 

I haven't had a night like that in a LONG time.
Well...other than that wedding a few years ago when I woke up in the ER with an IV in me. My wife wasn't very happy...

 

There's a part two, and part three to that story, but I need the time to sit down, and put thumb to screen.

 

And leaving Wyatt that next morning. AC blowing full blast. Sweating bullets, and booze after my blackout nap.

 

PART TWO​

So, that Sunday morning I left Wyatt's place. Headed for home. Stopped off at the marathon, and filled the tank. Went inside about 8:30 am looking for breakfast pizza. None there. Bummer. Grabbed two breakfast wraps. Score! Drove down the road a ways to the other marathon less than a mile away looking for breakfast pizza. None there. Damn!

Drove home. Told mom, and pop about my adventures of the night. Laughed. We all swapped stories for a while, and I learned more family history. They left, and headed to the store about 11am. I'm getting sorta sleepy, and prep for a nap. I thought "Before I lay down, I'll reach out to one of my friends, and see if they're up." I did, and received a reply within a minute.

Schedule lunch meet up. We did. Ate. Talked for a while, and then parted ways. Few hours go by. I get a message. "Hey, can I come over? I need to talk." I replied "C'mon. You know I don't have all day."

Friend pulled in, and started telling me all these things about her BF, and naturally I give advice when I can. I'm actively listening more than I am talking. Eventually, we get on the subject of when we had dated. (It was a short romance at the end of my High school career. We dated for less than 3 months, and parted ways on good terms. Now turned friends)

We drive around in my truck seeing the sights while we talk. I parked at the local state park overlook, and took in the view while we talked. Had to be around 6 pm by then. I looked down after talking for some time, and it was 11pm. WTH?!?!?

Drive her back to my place. Hug. Part ways, and I headed for the house. She yelled for me, and said "Hey, can you uh... back my car out of your driveway? I'm nervous about it." "Sure" and I did. So now I'm hungry, and am craving the hell out of some Huddle house.

 

PART THREE​

So I'm en route to Huddle house, and I glance down at my phone to change the song. A text from Wyatt. Pull over. Open it. It's a picture of his sister??? The text read "This gal keeps asking about you. If you wanna come over. "

I reply "Are you running a dating service now?
Lol I'm in town right now. Let me get home, and then grab a uniform for work tomorrow night, etc. Do yall want anything from Huddle house?"

Reply from Wyatt: "No, we just ate. Thanks though."

So I arrive at Huddle house. The couple that used to work tandem in there are now broken up. I was friends with both, and I always suspected the Girl always liked me. So while I wait for the cook to finish my meal I talk with her. More relationship advice. She hands me her number and tells me to keep in touch while flirting with me as I pay to leave.

We are standing outside, and some of the (ex???) Boyfriends friends roll through the parking lot with their squatted trucks. They see me, and peel rubber through the lot. I watched then as they went by while maintaining conversation. 4 of them in the truck. Probably just seeing who I am. Looks like Skeeter, jeeter, beeter, and tweeker. I'm still talking to her while I'm thinking about my pistol in the truck. They roll through again, and then burn rubber all down the highway. I decided then it would be best to leave. So I hugged her, and told her that if she needed someone to talk to I'd listen.

I left, and headed back to wyatts about 1:30 am Monday morning. Arrived about 2:10 am and Wyatt greeted me. He said "I've got two very drunk ladies here, and an extremely drunk host. Can you distract my sister?" I said "Wyatt, I'm not so sure that's a good idea. I mean look, they're fucking smooshered!"

"That's fine, but just take care of my sister will ya?" "Alright bro, but why me?" "You're a lot better than the company she's been keeping lately."

Few drinks in, Wyatt's sister Melina is in my lap. Morgan is in wyatts lap. They are passionately, and very drunkenly face battling. Melina, and I are just telling jokes, and making each other laugh. (I'm buzzed at this point, but kept that statutory rape charge in the back of my head. Kept me in line all night.)

Morgan had Melina follow her into the house. I watched them discuss something through the kitchen window. Wyatt and I stayed outside because they had asked us to remain and we did. I talked with him, and he tried to get me to smash his sister. I decided to refrain tonight. Too much alcohol. Too much beer. Too much cigarettes, and not enough memory.

We played a few games of pool on our phones, and then they returned outside. They were acting completely different. I thought that was odd. I cracked jokes, and told stories. Half drunken stories at that. About 3:45/4:00 am the girls decided it was time for bed, and then wyatt and I went inside for food. I'm trying to sober up so I can leave.

I nodded off on his couch for about 40 minutes, and then left once I woke up. Again, I was the only one awake. I did leave Melina a note with my phone number. I have yet to receive a message, but thats fine.

When she was sitting in my lap I was thinking "What the fuck is going on with this weekend? Ive had 3 or 4 different girls talk to me highly interested in me. I feel like I'm in one of dad's stories!"

 

bringing back memories from my college days...over 25 years ago now.

 

I never went to college but I'm getting flashbacks to high school and the 1 or 2 years after. I did a little less drinking but the randomness of life and flirty girls checks out.

 

This is an amazing thread.
I am a fan.

https://youtu.be/M0Dj6jFGbfE

 

With all the fire restrictions this year, I definitely missed a lot of my normal camping fires. Hopefully next year will be better.