Poorly explain what you do for a living

A self aware engineer?!?! Lord have mercy, I’m going to feint!

 

i do computers

 

Retired from bending nails and watching other people work. Now, lately, I’ve been catching myself on fire often enough that my family thinks it’s a regular thing.

 

Listen to people whine, complain, not follow rules and then throw their personal property in the garbage.

 

Ha! Me too

LOL! TSA....

 

I bury my face in my hands saying "what the f..." Over and over again under my breath while the gentle flowers try to explain how they're the most perfect flowers in the bouquet.

Apparently I'm a florist.

 

Not TSA...but I can see how that description fits.

 

Pretty close to my work experience.

 

I build things that people spend the rest of their lives in, until they don't.

 

I tell the IRS when they are wrong,

 

I just took a new job. I'm high enough up that if I were to tell someone to do something, they would do it. Therefore, I'm not allowed to tell people to do anything.

 

It's really technical

 

I set out to prove my 2nd grade teacher, one Mrs. Ira Vanhorn, wrong about telling me that no one would ever pay me to look out of a window. If that bitch is still alive, she owes me an apology.

 

I play battleship with Prostates....

 

I thought he was either management or a safety advisor.

 

Either I am A person who solves problems you can’t

or

One who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge.

 

I do a lot of screwing and unscrewing. A fair bit of lube and banging is involved as well. Yet no one seems to want to do my job, and many think they can do it better.

 

I nodded a lot and pretended to understand and explain complex financial matters while talking to people with a C in their title. They never caught on.

 

Even worse, the dreaded safety guy.

 

Safety is correct.

 

I review data and forecast projections and set pricing of how much your employers health insurance is going to cost as if I know who's gonna get sick next year. So I guess I'm sort of a psychic in a sense.

 

I am a catalyst. Spark change and try not to get burned in the reaction.

 

The like I gave you has as much to do with your tag line.

 

I’d go with the latter

 

Semi retired from international clandestine position, so I work when I want....
I test fire a multitude of various types of old,rare, valuable and also modern advanced firearms at a my private range.....Also I'm a Part time professional photographer of Beautiful bikini models in tropical locations like Maui and the Bahamas , when I’m not caring for my private 20k acres hunting property out West.

Oh I’m sorry, was this the “Explain your dream job”, thread ?

 

I am a Boondoggler.

 

Retired and I now I assure Tundras.com moderators have a job.

 

Ah yes the most worthless of management positions. If it weren’t for the need to show you as an expense item to help avoid legal liability your job wouldn’t exist.

 

I make wafers for people who can't make wafers but want their own special wafers made.

(No, I am not responsible for the semiconductor shortage.)