1. Welcome to Tundras.com!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tundra discussion topics
    • Transfer over your build thread from a different forum to this one
    • Communicate privately with other Tundra owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Moving Blues Straining My Marriage

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by BlackSheep, Feb 10, 2020.

  1. Feb 10, 2020 at 1:51 PM
    #1
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    I hope this isn't a forum faux pas...next to my dad, this place is my best place to vent. I could use some outside perspective thoughts on a perplexing situation.

    The wife and I are really struggling about where to live, and I don't really know what position to take and how much to compromise. I feel like it's splitting us apart. Here's the situation:

    We've been married 12 years, have an 11 y/o son and a 9 y/o daughter. I am 35, she is 31. Currently, we live and both work near downtown Kansas City, MO, in one of the oldest neighborhoods in the city. It's very diverse in terms of demographics, socio-economics, and housing stock, and is experiencing a renaissance. Some crime exists in pockets, and a few of the neighbors leave quite a bit to be desired. We've been here two years, and when we bought, we planned to stay at least until our kids are grown. Previously, we lived in one of the oldest neighborhoods in nearby Independence, MO for nine years. That neighborhood was more established and stable than where we are now. We both liked it, but we kind of outgrew our house.

    It has been my preference since before we got married to live an urban lifestyle. She knows this, as I lived downtown before we got married, and we both did for about six months after. Soon after moving to the Independence house, she developed the same love of old houses and gritty, eclectic neighborhoods that I have. So, when she found what became our current house on Zillow and said she wanted it despite potential safety concerns, I jumped at the chance to move downtown.

    Fast-forward two years, she has had a change of heart. She is primarily concerned about safety (neither us nor any of our neighbors have been victims of crime, thankfully, but a few months ago we caught a guy waving a handgun around out front of our house. He never discharged it...but still, unsettling). She also wants to be closer to her 30 y/o sister, whose family structure is very similar to ours, and with whom she has a close relationship. And she is tired of old house projects, but I can't convince her that where she's looking has 30-50 y/o houses that will also likely need work now or soon.

    Moving where she wants would mean moving to a suburb 20-30 minutes from downtown, which is basically the polar opposite of what we live in now. I don't think I can stomach that, and am resisting. For one, we can only afford about half the house in the neighborhoods she's looking at, and there aren't very many of those houses in existence in those neighborhoods. Secondly, I find pretty much everything related to suburban living to be undesirable for lots of reasons. Thirdly, we're both going to continue working downtown, and it seems silly to triple our commute times, so she can see her sister a couple times a week and so our kids can not play in suburban streets instead of not playing in urban ones. Fourthly, safety is largely based on perception or expectation, and it can be taken from you at any moment, anywhere you are, so I think it's a bit of a false premise to argue we should move solely or even primarily on the grounds of safety.

    I'm willing to compromise, even though I'm resentful she's making this a decision we have to address many years before we had anticipated it. I just don't know how much to give here. There are neighborhoods closer to the city that have the reputation of being pretty safe, that would kind of split the difference between downtown and her sister's house, but she doesn't seem to be interested in any of the houses I've shown her in those areas. I feel like she's backing me into a corner here.
     
    Maxi13 and kparrow like this.
  2. Feb 10, 2020 at 1:58 PM
    #2
    COMiamiFan

    COMiamiFan Super Secret Elite Member #3

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2015
    Member:
    #2160
    Messages:
    24,166
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Jose
    Parker, CO
    Vehicle:
    2016 White Crew Max TRD
    TRD Pro Grille, ESP Storage, Tailgate Inserts, Line-X Bedliner, Weathertech Floorliners, Wet Okole Seat Covers, 5" Shorty Antenna, Mickey Thompson MM-366 Wheels, ToyTec Boss, 35" BFG KO2 to name a few.
  3. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:02 PM
    #3
    Tchase

    Tchase New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2019
    Member:
    #36090
    Messages:
    322
    Gender:
    Male
    Buckley WA
    Vehicle:
    2019 White Tundra Limited
    In work
    A couple things come up when reading this, and it doesn't mean they apply.....
    You said you don't want to resent, this is very close to regret. Remember all the things you've chosen in your life have gotten you to where you are the good and the bad, take one away, you are some place else entirely different. So don't have resentment or regrets....

    You know the saying "Happy wife Happy life" its very true, the problem you will notice is the bar keeps getting lifted, but in truth there is nothing wrong with that.

    My advice, take her to dinner and talk about it tell her you just want to map this all out and look at the pros and cons. I know this the wife I married and brought two kids into this world is not the same woman I dated in High-school. The mother instinct is strong.....

    GL
     
    YsoSeRiouS!, NUDRAT, MS22 and 8 others like this.
  4. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:04 PM
    #4
    Mnorris1206

    Mnorris1206 Super white is fast as f***

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2018
    Member:
    #23448
    Messages:
    2,196
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    Vehicle:
    08 tundra
    6" lift kit 35" tires with cold air intake and exhaust
    My biggest concern for myself and my family is the school systems. And to side with you there is crime everywhere. My wife grew up in Missouri in a very small town called amazonia they had crime there also. It's a rough decision but as I am 37 yrs old and have the same issue you are in as well. I have a 13 yr old and a 5yr old. Oldest doesn't want to move away from school and the boy is harder then that to move as he is autistic. But all I can say Is go with your gut. We live 30 min from indionapolis and the drive does suck but its definitely "less" crime then the city. But it still happens alot people are just crazy anymore. I also never needed to feel like I needed camera's on my home but after having prying makes on my front door now I can watch everything at my house with my phone any time of day. A gun just is not enough any more if your kids come home from school and your not there and someone is waiting inside for them. As parents we have to worry but there are things you can do besides just packing up anytime someone is acting an idiot.
     
    BlackSheep [OP] and Tchase like this.
  5. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:07 PM
    #5
    Tchase

    Tchase New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2019
    Member:
    #36090
    Messages:
    322
    Gender:
    Male
    Buckley WA
    Vehicle:
    2019 White Tundra Limited
    In work
    ^ school was the number one reason we got out of the city. Best choice we ever made.
     
    TheBeast likes this.
  6. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:09 PM
    #6
    Aerindel

    Aerindel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2019
    Member:
    #25399
    Messages:
    920
    Gender:
    Male
    Montana
    Vehicle:
    2000 Tundra AC, SR5, 4.7 V8 4WD, 320,00ish miles.
    She's right. You need to get out of the city. As far and fast as you can.
     
  7. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:11 PM
    #7
    Mnorris1206

    Mnorris1206 Super white is fast as f***

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2018
    Member:
    #23448
    Messages:
    2,196
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    Vehicle:
    08 tundra
    6" lift kit 35" tires with cold air intake and exhaust
    If I was to move to Missouri like my wife would like to do. I think I would be heading to Springfield MO. Still a decent size city but still really nice.
     
  8. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:15 PM
    #8
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    So, schools are an issue for most parents. I get it. There are good school options within KCMO. My wife tirelessly researched this before we decided to buy so close to downtown.
     
    kparrow and Mnorris1206 like this.
  9. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:19 PM
    #9
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    I actually don't hate the rural lifestyle. Both my wife and I grew up rural, with lots and lots of land. Problem is, both of us need the city for our careers, so rural isn't likely to happen.

    I work around heavy civil contractors regularly. Almost to a person those guys hate the city. It's nothing for them to live 2+ hours away and drive in every day for work. That's just insane to me. How good of a parent can you be when you're book-ending a 10-12 hour workday with four total hours of driving?
     
    Maxi13, YsoSeRiouS!, NUDRAT and 4 others like this.
  10. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:19 PM
    #10
    Mnorris1206

    Mnorris1206 Super white is fast as f***

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2018
    Member:
    #23448
    Messages:
    2,196
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    Vehicle:
    08 tundra
    6" lift kit 35" tires with cold air intake and exhaust
    I'm sure there are, but here is the thing and alot of guys will definitely agree. Happy wife happy life. And this cant be to big of a problem to let this mess your marriage up. The only thing that would push me against the wall from not doing what your wife has in mind is if it would hurt us financially if you cant afford it then the subject should just be dropped. But if you can I'm kinda on her side on this one hell if I could afford to live in the hills I would and still have the amenities we need for my son.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2020
    YsoSeRiouS! and Rex Kramer like this.
  11. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:28 PM
    #11
    MTRock

    MTRock New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2020
    Member:
    #41972
    Messages:
    41
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Troy
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rock Warrior DC
    DC rear fold down seats, decals removed, blacked out badges, speakers, ceramic coating.
    Happy wife happy life!!! Been married 26years..3 kiddos!!! Pros and cons list them talk it over then you will eventually see what is best for the kiddos? After the shit we’ve been through suburban or urban? Think about!
     
    Petrone, YsoSeRiouS! and nlaroy like this.
  12. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:37 PM
    #12
    Amanda B

    Amanda B New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2020
    Member:
    #42027
    Messages:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Amanda
    Vehicle:
    2018 SR5 TRD Off-road CrewMax
    First, I haven’t read everyone’s response but I read your post. So if I am repeating what someone else stated I apologize. No marriage goes without disagreements and neither of you should resent the other for having a different opinion or even fighting for their choice as that is a very human thing to do. Probably the frustration you feel is the same way she feels about your response. My suggestion is that each of you sit down and think about what you want as far as housing goes (make a list), rank what is most important to you, each of you find homes that fit those and then both of you be willing to at least look at those homes. This shows a willingness to take the opposing perspective into account. The reality is, if both of you are really honest many will be thrown out as not meeting your needs anyway. Both of you need to be realistic about the pros and cons of each home and realize neither will get exactly what you are looking for. That only happens when you are single. Each should list what is most important to them, and those are the things that should be utilized to ultimately make the choice so that ideally both of you have some things met that you are interested in and that the negatives are tolerable or worth it given the positive aspects. Ultimately, it should be a compromise, and the problems of a particular home should be livable for both and some of the needs/desires of each are met. When you have kids, really you have to take their needs into consideration too. Crime/drugs/homelessness seems to be increasing in most places. We are looking to move because we happen to be in a small community where it is extremely bad. Of course, we have family here and we like the area, but the pros of moving outweigh the cons. Anyway, that is my opinion for what it is worth.
     
    Joss1799, MS22, kparrow and 4 others like this.
  13. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:40 PM
    #13
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    Thanks everybody for the thoughts. The consensus appears to be 'think of the kids' and 'give the wife what she wants' in line with the oft-quoted happy wife, happy life adage.

    Perhaps my perspective has been selfish.
     
  14. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:52 PM
    #14
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    Love it! Excellent, thorough insights. I absolutely agree spouses should come first, then kids, then extended family and friends. The trend of crime in our area has been pretty flat in the two years we've been in the neighborhood. My biggest concern with all this isn't moving out of the city. It is my wife's moving target. Her sister lived two blocks from us when we were in Independence, but they weren't that close then, and we moved away first. Then the sister and her husband moved way out into suburbia. Now, she's close to her, but what about in another two years? And, two years ago, she was all about moving downtown. Now, she's all about living in the 'burbs. What about in a few more years? I am a man, not a servant. Happy wife, happy life doesn't mean much to me if I have to lose my voice in the marriage for it to happen.
     
  15. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:55 PM
    #15
    Amanda B

    Amanda B New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2020
    Member:
    #42027
    Messages:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Amanda
    Vehicle:
    2018 SR5 TRD Off-road CrewMax
    Just an observation: the men here are saying “happy wife, happy life,” and the two women commenting are saying it is about compromising and weighing out needs. Happy wife, happy life is a myth. When you adopt that you are not being authentic. You are also not really being honest with yourself or your wife and you are diminishing your self worth. It is all about working together to find the best home for everyone involved, and realizing there won’t be a home that is a perfect fit for everyone.
     
    2chains, g6t9ed, 15whtrd and 10 others like this.
  16. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:56 PM
    #16
    Garvin74

    Garvin74 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2017
    Member:
    #8969
    Messages:
    158
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sean
    Vehicle:
    2017 Tundra CM SR5
    I'll tell ya any decision I make I think about how it might impact my 3 children. They are the world to me. No doubt you feel the same. But buying a house is a major decision. I do agree happy wife happy life but there should be compromise with something like this. So maybe make a deal with her she gets the house she wants and you get a 2 car garage or maybe some sweet mods to the truck.. but hands down comprise has to happen based on your op.
     
  17. Feb 10, 2020 at 2:57 PM
    #17
    Hbjeff

    Hbjeff New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2019
    Member:
    #24845
    Messages:
    1,985
    Gender:
    Male
    Huntington Beach
    Vehicle:
    2010 DC tundra lame-o 2wd
    I would rather live in a shack in a safe neighborhood than a mansion closer to the crime.
    I agree, just giving into the wife is a recipe for disaster. Do whatever will put your kids in the best position to grow into happy, functional adults

    For me, cleanliness and safety is worth a lot.
     
    Phillips2020 likes this.
  18. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:00 PM
    #18
    Tchase

    Tchase New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2019
    Member:
    #36090
    Messages:
    322
    Gender:
    Male
    Buckley WA
    Vehicle:
    2019 White Tundra Limited
    In work
    And schools change.. when we
    Don't be so harsh on yourself, you are not alone in being "selfish" it's just the bigger picture, down the road. The day you had kids was the last day of you being selfish.... now it's about compromise. You won't get everything you want but none of us do.
     
  19. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:02 PM
    #19
    Tchase

    Tchase New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2019
    Member:
    #36090
    Messages:
    322
    Gender:
    Male
    Buckley WA
    Vehicle:
    2019 White Tundra Limited
    In work
    I have to disagree, it's not a myth and its not be authentic. Her being happy brings me happiness, I can buy all the shit in the world thats not going to make me happy..
     
  20. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:06 PM
    #20
    P-Factor

    P-Factor New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Member:
    #26094
    Messages:
    661
    Gender:
    Male
    North Georgia
    Vehicle:
    2018 Tundra Limited Double Cab
    TRD Exhaust & Cold Air Intake, Center Console Safe
  21. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:12 PM
    #21
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    Lot of people here championing safety...obviously, one would have to be crazy to say that an unsafe environment is better than a safe one.

    Does anyone have firsthand experience with living in the city with a family? Have you ever tried it? It's amazing. Kansas City, MO's population is nearly half a million. That's 500,000 actual people. Normal people, with families and jobs, and the same concerns everyone else has. Urban area residents aren't monsters. Some of the best, most selfless, moral people I've ever met are residents of urban Kansas City. Of course there are bad apples. I think it's important to raise my kids where they are going to have the broadest understanding of how life can be lived.

    My neighbor has a speak-easy in their basement. They have fostered 17 children over the past seven years. They host football watch parties all season long, and have wine & puzzle nights for all the neighbors through the week. My garage has a hole in the floor that leads to another neighbor's back yard. On nice days, all the parents have to text each other to keep track of whose house the kids are at. When I visit my sister-in-law, there are no children playing outside. Immaculate lawns house spacious, empty play-sets. They don't know their neighbors' names. They have to paint their house one of three approved colors. This is not the world I want to present to my children.
     
  22. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:12 PM
    #22
    Garvin74

    Garvin74 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2017
    Member:
    #8969
    Messages:
    158
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sean
    Vehicle:
    2017 Tundra CM SR5
    I agree with this. Whether you realize it or not you haven't been selfish for the past 11 years. Think about all you've done for your children. We all do it. When your spending that kind of money it's hard to settle.
     
    BlackSheep [OP] likes this.
  23. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:12 PM
    #23
    joonbug

    joonbug bacon

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2015
    Member:
    #1948
    Messages:
    15,342
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Joon
    NorCal - Dublin
    Vehicle:
    2020 Limited DoubleCab
    Can you elaborate on this comment?

    "Secondly, I find pretty much everything related to suburban living to be undesirable for lots of reasons."
     
    reneaux likes this.
  24. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:20 PM
    #24
    Professional Hand Model

    Professional Hand Model Fred Brookes

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2018
    Member:
    #14878
    Messages:
    7,128
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Fred
    ‘Somewhere’... a State of Mind
    Vehicle:
    2002 Tundra SR5 4WD 4.7L AC Silver Metallica
    Hand Protectors
    Its more expensive to go through divorce than it is to move where she wants. City streets with crime and people waving guns around is not a place for children. You sound like you are stuck on your longtime desire to live the urban lifestyle and trying to rationalize it here.

    On the other hand, your kids will be grown adults in a few years before you know it and maybe your current hood home will be worth millions and you will live happily ever after as empty nesters!

    Survey says...

    Move!
     
    Aerindel and Mnorris1206 like this.
  25. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:21 PM
    #25
    Mnorris1206

    Mnorris1206 Super white is fast as f***

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2018
    Member:
    #23448
    Messages:
    2,196
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Mike
    Vehicle:
    08 tundra
    6" lift kit 35" tires with cold air intake and exhaust
    :rofl:
     
  26. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:22 PM
    #26
    Amanda B

    Amanda B New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2020
    Member:
    #42027
    Messages:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Amanda
    Vehicle:
    2018 SR5 TRD Off-road CrewMax
    Happy wife, happy life is a myth and not being authentic if that is always your answer. First, it is a lazy way of problem solving by avoiding conflict and ignoring your own needs/desires. Second, Saying making my wife happy makes me happy is nice, but it isn’t the whole picture. That is like if you asked me what makes me happy and I say “puppies, petting puppies makes me happy.” While that is a true statement, it is completely oversimplified. I have seen where “happy wife, happy life” after years leads...and it is an unhappy marriage where neither party is very happy nor do they even know how to bridge the gap of their differences.
     
    g6t9ed, 15whtrd, 316KS_TUNDRA and 2 others like this.
  27. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:26 PM
    #27
    Outbound

    Outbound Super Secret Elite Member #3

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2016
    Member:
    #4064
    Messages:
    3,181
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Aaron
    Northern Alberta
    Vehicle:
    2005 Tundra Doublecab TRD Off Road
    Maybe do what the wife wants until your youngest is off to college. Then downsize and move into the city?

    BTW, "happy wife, happy life" is bullshit. "Mildly irritated wife, amusing life" is much better. ;)
     
    TomC843, 15whtrd, Fiesta346 and 6 others like this.
  28. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:31 PM
    #28
    Tundra234

    Tundra234 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2018
    Member:
    #22402
    Messages:
    1,374
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    George
    Florida
    Vehicle:
    2013 Tundra DC
    There are alot of good points here. As mentioned, map it out with pros and cons. To start with, dont rush it. Things will flow alot smoother when you both come to a mutual agreement. There are several aspects to look at...schools, safety, finances, etc. I'm sure with steps at a time everything will work out. Get your plans sorted out and then once you are there introduce the kids to it. IMO, you would want to include them in the plan as it would help ease their transition a little.
     
    Garvin74 likes this.
  29. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:36 PM
    #29
    Aerindel

    Aerindel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2019
    Member:
    #25399
    Messages:
    920
    Gender:
    Male
    Montana
    Vehicle:
    2000 Tundra AC, SR5, 4.7 V8 4WD, 320,00ish miles.
    Well, my wife and I think its worth it so that the kid gets to live in the woods and not a city. But you know, people are different. Obviously, I don't know you and can't really tell you what to do with your life, I'm just saying, I don't think your wife is wrong.

    And no, I have no experience living in a city. There are only a million people in my entire state, and its one of the biggest in the country. I go into the nearest city of 70k and my skin starts crawling. I don't know how people can live like that. There must be something appealing about it for so many to do it...but its not something I understand.

    I hope you work things out with your wife...but I hope you also understand just how powerful the desire to be out of a city is in people who feel it. Its not an idle wish. You aren't going to fix it with a pro-con list.
     
  30. Feb 10, 2020 at 3:36 PM
    #30
    BlackSheep

    BlackSheep [OP] Wolf in Sheep's clothing

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Member:
    #18406
    Messages:
    533
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    Kansas City, MO
    Vehicle:
    2010 BLK Rock Warrior Dbl Cab
    everything black...except the wheels
    Sure....might step on some toes, but I brought up the issue.

    My degree is in Urban Planning & Design. In school, I was taught that patterns of suburban development are wasteful and terrible for the environment. Buildings are enormous, with expansive parking lots, all impervious surfaces that make flooding worse. With everything being so spread out to accommodate the parking lots, people have to rely on cars to get anywhere. This, versus, urban living, promotes a less active lifestyle, which is bad for health, as are the exhaust fumes of all the cars. People lead more isolated lives in their cars, and are less likely to interact positively with strangers in their cars versus if they were walking down the sidewalk (think road rage, honking at a cyclist, etc).

    Everyone has to own lawn equipment for their tiny, nearly useless plot of land. I grew up where I could hit a golf ball in my back yard, go find it, and hit it again and still be on my property. That, to me, is a yard. Not 1/4 acre plot I can't even use to play a decent game of catch with my son.

    Everything is so homogeneous and sterile in the suburbs.

    Everything in the suburbs is a chain or big box. There are almost no small businesses, no entrepreneurs. The big guys have choked them all out. You can still find them in the city, though, because Target can't usually find a big enough piece of land for their store AND their parking lot.

    I simply could not stand to drive in rush hour traffic every day. I occasionally have to go somewhere outside the city during rush hour, and it's enough to break me, sitting there for an hour, staring at the sea of cars ahead of me.

    People move to the suburbs for their kids. Every time I go there, I see Yukon XLs and Expeditions with the huge stick figure family portrayed on the rear window, and way too many window stickers for somebody's cheer squad or soccer team. I parent differently. My son plays football, my daughter takes Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes. But they know my wife and I's world began before theirs, and doesn't revolve around them. I don't want to move to an area where all their friends are the social centers of their respective families, and all the parental conversations revolve around whatever little league activity is in season.

    I could keep going, but this is probably sufficient.
     

Products Discussed in

To Top