Standing up or sitting down?

I didn't see "Use your neighbors bathroom" as an option. It's their own fault for not locking their doors or windows.

 

My contribution to this glorious and enlightening pee-pee thread.

https://giphy.com/gifs/peeing-bathroom-together-JCS4f32nY7uog

https://giphy.com/gifs/duck-FKhgYn2ZDO2nC

 

This is what happens to me in parking lots.
I park way away from ANYONE.
Then some d!ckhead parks right next to me in an almost empty lot...

 

Me too! I hate that!

 

George Carlin once said "You've never seen a guy taking a s___ while running at full speed". Same for going wee wee I guess?

 

I’ve seen a dog shitting, running at full speed

 

Little Maximo used to poop on a walk.
He wouldn't even squat.
Dropping log after log at full stride trying to keep up with the other 2 dogs..
Of course, we'd have to go back and pick the logs up.
He would piss walking as well.



At least he would drop them in the grass, easier to pick up.
Maverick now poops on the sidewalk.
It usually leaves a residue on the concrete.
Sorry, no pics of it.
I'll try to catch a pic of it on tomorrow's walk.....

 

Ours was chasing us on a motor pickle, and had lots of grass in its stool, so it took a while, it was like a high speed kangaroo hop to get it all out, then back to normal

 

Funny where this thread ended up.
But I suppose it does pertain to the OP, he didn't restrict it to humans...

 

It really doesn't matter what you do, the toilet is going to get gross if you don't man up and clean it now and then. You even have to get your hands wet. The horror.

 

When ours would get dirty, I used to just go out and buy a new toilet. Now my toilet funds are going into gas money for the Bifmobile, that's why I started using the neighbors toilets and shrubbery.

 

You still have to pick it up to remove it before dropping the new one in. And problems arise when you 'miss-fire' and get the cabinet or the wall behind the toilet
This is fantastic news, I was expecting far less people doing sitpee. We are holding strong at almost 1 in 3, with some hybrids mixed up in the middle, and a hover!
My dog gets into raccoon position and does this slow walk when pooping. If he held a ball in his mouth and dropped it mid-season, he can't pick it up. Very difficult situation. I have to go and get it for him. He must think the bol might touch poop when dropped and therefore can't go into the mouth anymore.

 

If I sit, I'm gonna start looking at the news on my phone. Sitting on a toilet too long or too much is a good way to get hemorrhoids.

 

Hemorrhoids? Hmm, well how long is too long? Pee session usually lasts less than a minute, unless there's a TV above toilet paper holder and you start flipping through channels and find your favourite show.

 

If you pee sitting down (other than medical conditions/age) you have wayyyy to much time on your hands.

Sitting down to pee
1. Unbuckle belt
2. Unbutton pants
3. Unzip pants
4. Pull down pants/underwear
5. Sit down
6. Pee
7. Pull up pants/underwear
8. Button pants
9. Zip up pants
10. Buckle belt
11. Flush

Standing up to pee
1. Unzip pants
2. Pull out
3. Pee
4. Put away
5. Zip up pants
6. Flush
7. Wipe toilet rim if you're messy

 

Well, unrolling him and rolling him up again takes time as well

 

So how do you keep it from touching the water when sitting down

Another reason to stand up

 

You do have a point there, @Sumo91

 

I don't have a dog in this one - but.

With the right belt, pants and commando style.

1. Pull you pants down as you are sitting down
2. Do your business
3. Pull your pants up as you stand up
4. Flush unless you are in CA

 

You obviously have a dog in this...look at your avatar. Nice looking pup!

The CA reference is hilarious

 

5'7"?? Dude, how do you deal with the low oxygen at that altitude?

 

Match made in heaven.

 

I like a variation of the hover, but it should really have it’s own category. The float. Yeah, how else do you tube down a river for hours without stopping?

 

I feel like the hover uses too much a muscle i dont have

 

What if you have an enlarged prostrate and don’t have the velocity required to cause any splashing. Is standing up ok then? Asking for a friend

 

@eick , on the contrary, you'll want to sit down and relax your muscles for a pleasant and complete release. Standing up also will cause runoff issues all over your legs and the floor if there isn't enough pressure.