share your -isms

So, I've been pondering this the past few days. Isms. We've all got them. They're part of where we grew up, the people we hang out with, folks we work with. Most of them are good for a chuckle and @fordguy1470 just reminded me with one of his...

colder than a well diggers ass

Here's a few that I've collected starting back from a small town in southern Indiana.

That's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I'm so hungry, I'd suck a horse's ass through a barb wire fence.
I'm busy as a one legged cat in a sandbox.
He's tighter than a flea's ass over a rain barrel.

Watcha' got?

 

It’s colder than a witch’s titty!

 

Your higher then giraffe pussy.

 

Worked with a guy a few weeks ago from Alabama. His quote.. "That guy's so dumb he couldn't organize a goat fucking."

 

Look like a cat trying to bury shit on a hot tin roof.
Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.
That tastes so bad I will have to lick my ass to get the taste out of my mouth.

 

Handier than a pocket on a shirt

 

I'd suck a fart out of her ass and hold it like a bong hit.

 

My buddy used to say I would fill her with ice cream and eat it all out.
I would always tell him I don't think I can eat that much ice cream. Lol

 

ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTEREANISM

bing bing bing!!!!!!!

 

When there's frost on the pumpkin it time for Peter Dunkin. When it's hot and sticky it's no time to dip your sticky.

 

When someone says what's up.
You reply a chickens ass when he's eating.

 

She's so ugly, it looks like her face caught fire and they put it out with an icepick.

 

Slicker than cat shit on linoleum.

 

Yo MAMA so FAT she was baptized at Seaworld

 

"Hotter'n a three-peckered billy goat on the 4th of July" (you say it "joooo-lie")

"Ain't got the brains God gave a pissant."

"Colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra."

These are all great-grandpaisms.

 

Oh. You guys have some good’uns.

 

"Fucked up like a soup sandwich"

or "football bat"... your choice.

Ugly girl isms... "she'd scare a maggot off a gut wagon"
And "she looks like a catcher for the dart team"

Hot girl ism (and my personal fav) "I'd wade naked, waist deep thru a stream of gasoline with a lit torch just to hear her fart in a bathtub over a pay phone"

 

Ain't got enough power to pull a greasy string out of a whores ass.

Slicker than 2 snails fucking in a bucket of snot.

Slicker than owl shit.

Useless as tits on a chicken.

Harder than a Japanese arithmetic.

Dumber than a sack of hammer's.

Loose as a goose.

Hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool socks.

Hotter than a 2 dollar pistol.

Gayer than 2 dudes giving each other a hand job.

Madder than a ole wet hen.

 

Your sweatn like a whore in church
Sweatn like a fag at a weanie roast.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

 

'You couldn't hit the water if you fell out of a boat!'

Ugly girlism: she fell outta the ugly tree n hit every branch on the way down

Hot girlism: she so fkn hot I'd crawl naked thru a mile of broken glass just to jerk off in her shadow

 

I usually reply to whats up with "hard dicks and airplanes."

I work in the canadian oil/gas industry. Lots of newfies around. When i get home tonight i'll post up some of the gold i hear.

 

Never answer an anonymous letter.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

 

When someone asks "hey, do you know what?" I reply with "no, but I know his brother who."