Holiday greetings from California

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2018, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the Western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first."Holiday" is not intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof).

DISCLAIMER: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting the following terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all. This greeting is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the wishee, him/herself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law and is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.

Not valid in KY, CA, or District of Columbia

 

For some reason I still feel “micro aggressed”

 

I'm triggered already...

 

Aww man it's never valid in CA

 

You should take a knee on this one, Marty.

 

Aww shucks. It's always in the disclaimer

 

Good. My work here is done.

 

My truck represents my Native American heritage. I am so offended.

 

pretty much

 

Mine is 1/37th native American. So, I'm 103% with you on feeling offended.

 

Good catch, now I don't need to have my lawyer check it over as it doesn't apply.