Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

It is the Taco Grande.

 

Even the retired women there seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere.

 

Everybody enjoys eye candy. Nobody wants to look at ugly people. It's why I stay at home. I am courteous to others.

 

Scales are beautiful. There, I said it.

 

Jen and I had to make a quick trip to Denver for a 9:30 am doctor’s appointment—because nothing says adventure like a morning visit to the doctor, right? So, naturally, I thought, “Hey, why not turn this into a romantic getaway?” I booked us this super fancy, super romantic hotel room. I was envisioning candlelit dinners and maybe some slow dancing in the moonlight... or at least a decent night’s sleep before the doctor’s office.

As we get closer to the hotel, I start having this sneaky feeling that maybe I’ve fallen victim to the classic “bait and switch.” You know, like when you order a fancy burger and end up with a sad, soggy lettuce disaster? But I kept telling myself, “Once we get inside, everything will be perfect.”

Well, we never even made it inside. Because as we pull up, there’s a dude sitting on the porch—looking like he’s just finished a personal business meeting, if you catch my drift. Turns out, he’s taking a dump right there on the porch. Yep. Nature’s call, Denver style.

So I turn to Jen and say, “Go back to the truck.” Because, honestly, I thought, “Let’s avoid any potential hostage situation or porch pooper standoff.” But before she can move, the guy yells at us, “Where the fuck am I supposed to shit?!”

All I could muster was, “Dunno, man,” because honestly, I was trying to process the situation without losing my mind. Then, out of nowhere, he starts accusing us of making fun of him. Like we’re the porch pooper paparazzi or something.

So I tell Jen, “Hurry up, get in the damn truck,” because fighting a guy in flip-flops over his bathroom habits? Not on my to-do list. As we peel out of there, he’s still screaming about his social security check like it’s our fault he’s got a personal outdoor bathroom.

So, we high-tail it to the Sheraton, where they actually give us a nice room, some free drinks, and enough food to forget about porch poopers, bathroom debates, and social security drama.

Moral of the story? Sometimes, the best romantic getaways come with a side of outdoor bathroom chaos.

 

Denver is a hard place to navigate on so many levels.

My wife finally has reservations to the renovated Casa Bonita owned by the South Park guys. So we are taking our daughter there in late July. I have never been there, so I am willing to go once.

 

My daughter and her fiance live in Denver. I hope they are able to get out of there pretty soon. She has a Honda Civic that is still a great car mechanically, but on the outside is a road warrior vehicle at this point. It has been hit by other drivers several times.

The last time was by a dude with a landscape trailer at a dual left intersection. He scraped and mangled the side of her car, bad enough that the insurance company totaled it.

They decided to keep it. I have gone through the salvage process in northern Colorado and it was OK. For her, she had to go all the way down to Pueblo to get the State vehicle inspection. When she got there for her appointment, she was informed that they don’t do the stamping, only the inspection. At my location they did both.

So the guy let her keep her appointment slot, she drove to a Pueblo hardware store and did this fine work in the parking lot. So proud of her.

 

The Casa Bonita is a fun experience. Pricey, but fun. My grandson and I got to go before it officially re-opened. Several folks were selected randomly from emails submitted. I have a founding member card with some perks such as priority on reservations. I first went there in 1979. 46 years ago!

 

FYI....Westfax Brewery is just left to the entrance to Casa Bonita. Literally. Get some take back cans. The brew master is quite helpful.

 

Same here. The only time I'd ever go would be to watch the crappy Rockies lose. What a waste of time and gas...heh

 

I think we all hate Denver. Never go there unless mandatory, like @VelcrowKnight for a Doc' appointment or like @T-Rex266 to snag me a CPU at a good price.

 

Just warming up.

 

I just have to replace Denver with San Francisco and I'm right there with you guys...

 

Honestly, any big city. Hate them all. The only city area I can generally stand is the Salt Lake valley. They're getting pretty cuckoo there, though.

At least the SLC street grid makes sense. Denver is just a mess. Throw noodles at the wall and that's your road map. Overcrowded, poorly planned, and full of degenerates and assholes. Sadly, they all like to come invade Wyoming's outdoors, too.

 

I remember going into San Francisco as a kid all the way into my 20's. As someone who keeps fish, the fish stores in China Town were great and I would check them out once a month. It was a fun place where even the seedier parts weren't insane. Back then it had it's crazy people and places but it wasn't everywhere nor was the crime, drugs and homelessness as pervasive. Once the current governor, who will not be named, became mayor of that City it went downhill exponentially.

I basically stopped going there after Kate Steinle was murdered in broad daylight and a jury found the guy who did it not guilty because "the gun just went off". At that point it was clear the city and people living there were too far gone...

 

This is the perfect telling of a story that should not be told.
Thoroughly enjoyed the story telling, hated the subject matter.

Recap: Big cities suck balls. Pretty much all of them universally.

 

Yup, and it's generally for the same reasons. They draw in bleeding hearts that just want to sing kumbaya and throw other people's money at issues rather than addressing problems in the proper way. Being full of that idiot mentality inevitably draws in the predators who want to capitalize on the stupidity.

 

What about the Buckhorn Exchange? Just do not take a nice car.

 

Seattle is just as bad and yet the population continues to grow. Which is actually good… that means the idiot magnet is working. Maybe we can get them all into the big cities and then wall them off.

 

The crazy thing is that would have happened even if you were in your car. People don't check their mirrors or blind spots anymore. Just like having smart phones has ruined people's ability to remember phone numbers or do math without a calculator, "safety" tech in cars has made drivers inattentive and entitled.

 

Yup. I really thing that along with driver's ed there should be a mandatory motorcycle course. Riding on a bike drives home the dangers of driving and makes you a better driver, even if you don't ever ride a bike in the future.

 

Culture. Nothing but culture

 

Austin and houston are not far behind

 

Any city over 20K people starts heading that direction. Bigger the population, the faster it rockets down the shitter.