Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

I somewhat resemble that remark.

 

Clever, ingenius almost. But I can think of a lot better uses for that besides booze.
If it's sealed, lockable and secure enough....tools or pew-pews?

 

Today's rant: Autumn Blaze Maple "helicopter" seeds.

We have two maple trees; one in front yard, one in back.
This Spring they both put out a bumper crop of helicopter seeds.
Completely filled the expansion joints in the concrete driveway and sidewalk.

Just spent the better part of 90 minutes cleaning up these damn things just from the driveway. Leaf blower, shop vac. and broom and dustpan.
Filled up the shop vac. to the brim; had to dump it.
I'd say maybe 50% or less have dropped already, so I'll likely be doing this again next weekend.

Still gotta do the deck out back. Stupid ass things are stuck in all the decking gaps too.

<--My wife. She's helping.

Should have taken a "before" pic.

 

That was last month for us. Looked like a rainstorm, and of course it seemed like everyone of them ended up in the pool.

 

I can see you running a craft and quilting club in retirement

 

Helicopter seeds drive me nuts. I have piles on my roof I cannot reach and those things don’t just “blow away. Had to climb my ladder this afternoon in the rain b/c a huge storm last week washed them all into the gutter and clogged it up.

 

Four pork butts smoked, cooled, quartered and into freezer bags.

My shadow today:

 

All this talk of seed issues makes me glad I don't have trees on my property.

 

Did your shadow get any pork butt?

 

I know my dogs absolutely love eating them. I've hunted them for years in our fields with a 12 gauge. When the dogs hear the BOOM, they come running. They don't waste a second to eat them up. The dog will literally grab it, run away, find somewhere secluded to hide, and then start scarfing it down ASAP...tail wagging the whole time. I wonder if i'm missing out on something?

 

Nope. I am not a pushover.

There are four chickens waiting for the wife to break down… she’ll spoil him

 

Poor little starving waif.

 

We already know he'd eat ass if he could catch any.

 

Yep, this too.
Will have to vacuum out the gutters before the next big rainfall or I'll have the same problem.

 

Your liver appreciates your sacrifice.

 

Prayers and thoughts go out to you. Hang tough, it's temporary

 

I've given up trying to get them all cleaned up

 

That goes double in my case where I know I'll be doing it at least one more time.
We stopped at about 90% picked up. No point in getting every last one. Good enough.

 

How can a gas be Fossilized? Dad jokes need to be accurate and held to a higher standard.