The truck is all that's left

Today makes it official, the only thing I have left in life is this stupid gas guzzling truck. I lost someone very important to me and the funk and depression that I fell into has now cost me my job. The good thing about having nothing left is that I have nothing left to lose. I think I'm gonna Forest Gump this shit and just take a walk. If anyone has advice for a guy on the edge or just a kind word I would love to hear it.

 

Life is full of trials, best advise I have is turn to God, when you need Him he will respond. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2 Corinthians 4:17-18&version=NIV

 

Tundra Family,

You have a lot to lose and that is yourself I understand losing someone very close to you it sucks. Please keep your head up life only keeps you down for small bits of time the rest is awesome if you let it be. Go forest Gump and walk that shit off just make sure your path connects so you come back to where you started but with a clear head and a renewed purpose. Life is too short as it is enjoy it things will get better. As I have reminded myself many times This too shall pass. Please take a step back because you are worth it. God Bless.

 

1. I suggest taking a look at your bucket list and doing 1 or 2 things that were always "someday" away. Make it something you can build a new perspective off of and give you a mental reset around.

2. Get therapy. Schedule a weekly session with someone to work out all the stuff swirling around in your head.

3. Do not consume any alcohol until you sort this mental reset out.

Good luck!!

 

sorry to hear this.
life is a weird thing, so many twists and turns and it often does not make much sense.
Dont give up, there is more good then bad in this world and you can be part of making it a better place.

 

Sorry for your loss OP.

Depending on your age, social network, finances, put together an itinerary and set off on a prolonged road trip adventure or sell everything that's not tied down including the Tundra, grab a passport and go wander abroad.

It's one life to "Live". Go live it!

Best wishes to you and stay away from intoxicants.

 

Sorry for your loss and misfortune. I would say and you can go alone, sit in a church. You don't have to attend a service. Just sit there and as mentioned above, you will feel his presence.
I truly wish you the best, as all of us here do.

 

Have you ever? It's kind of a joke tbh. "do you have a plan to hurt yourself" and all I can think is "it's a suicide hotline dude, fuckin yes, obviously."

 

I’m sorry you are going through this. The grieving process takes time. Don’t make any big decisions yet.

 

I went through something similar a few years back. Instead of a gas guzzler Tundra I had a gas guzzler 4Runner. I basically had to start my life over from scratch, which at the age of 41 was not easy but like everything else in life, it just took some time and effort.

I stopped drinking which helped greatly as alcohol just made everything worse and caused strange bouts of anxiety and panic attacks. It actually amplified my grief instead of quieting it like I hoped.

I learned that nothing is impossible as long as I made myself open to opportunity. Things are just things and don't really matter and they do not dictate my happiness.

Go find the perfect sunrise, let the warmth of the sun dance upon your face and be clear and sober minded. Listen to life wake up and stir around you. Do this every morning and one day when you open your eyes you will have moved beyond yourself and will bare witness to all of the miracles that surround you.

You may even realize that you too are a miracle and have suddenly been unburdened and are now free to pursue the next great adventure of your life.

 

The truck may be the only MATERIAL possession remaining, but in the scheme of life, YOUR life, it means nothing.
I don't know you any more than any of us that haven't met face to face and just chat on an internet forum.
What I DO know: You have shared quite a bit of yourself, your life and your struggles with us. There are many good people here. People that truly care. Even about the life of a relative stranger on the internet.
Whether or not your life has included faith in a higher power, take comfort in the knowledge that many here are praying for you.
As others have stated, actively seek His presence however you choose to do that.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your loved one. You have to.
But know that your life has purpose and meaning, even if you can't see it right now.
We're here for you.

 

For me it's weed. I love to smoke me some pot. Starting to realize that I'm not actually escaping reality, I'm just delaying the inevitable and postponing the misery. I really do need to just suck it up and face the hard shit in life head on.

 

I've actually been looking for a way to get active in this shit community, something that people will appreciate instead of the food bank nonsense I was doing where everyone is a bunch of ingrates.

 

Out of respect for the site, I will keep this brief as I don't want to get preachy or overly religious. Alcohol created a barrier between myself and Almighty God. It was only after I stopped drinking that I was able to perceive the presence of the Lord and realize He surrounded me and was there the whole time. I just needed to open myself up and let Him in.

Each person has to find their own way. I would encourage you to go out into nature and find a quiet place and just clear your mind.

 

You're not allowed to quit. It sucks right now, but that doesn't mean tomorrow, or next week, or maybe next year doesn't have something glorious in store.

Chin up, shoulders back, and through the flames. You've got this.

 

You are much stronger than you think you are.

Unfortunately, you are experiencing loss, and with those losses comes the disorientation of life change. It can make you feel weak. These storms you'll weather and come out stronger and wiser. I agree that any chemicals will simply hold you down, they'll only numb things enough to prevent you from moving on.

Fill your voids with new things; could be religion, could be therapy, heck it could be trying things like sky diving, bungee jumping, volunteering... You need to keep stacking new meaning into life, whether you're at your highest point, or your lowest.

 

One thing I like to think about when dealing with loss, failure, regret and the negative shit in the world if it helps any — my best isn’t good enough a lot of the time. I can try to do my best, but that’s all I can do. Don’t let the narrative of failures and shortcomings fill your head, let yourself off the hook. Something didn’t work, say it simply, own it with others and move on. And don’t expect anything in return from others.

 

I like to say, "all I can do is all I can do"
But when I think about it that just sounds like a lame excuse for not doing better

 

So I've decided that taking a walk is a great idea. I'm going to hike around the superstitions a bit over the next few days and look for that crazy German bastards goldmine.

I'm gonna do it like two guns. Butt naked with nothing on but my gun belt

 

Have a good time

 

The Apache won't mess with a crazy looking, butt naked white boy, even they don't want those problems. A regular lookin, skinny assed white boy might as well paint a bullseye on their forehead though

 

The darkest time of night is right before the dawn. Things will get better, you just need the strength to hold on untill they do.
There are many ways to get out of a deep funk. Some like me use prayer, others get involved with other people, volunteer, adapt a pet, there are many ways.
My ex pastor said, if you want to make someone lie, ask them if they have ever considered sucide, and of course they will say no, but every one at some time in there life has considerd it. So don't consider yourself weak.
Stay strong.

 

Being retired, quite a bit of people have told me to sell my 2010 Crewmax 4x4 and get a car. It'll have good fuel economy. I told some of them that this truck is my bug out truck, is my last resort if everything fails or gets too difficult and I may need to relocate or give up my home and live in the truck or get a small camper trailer to tow and get away, go all over the states or join a group of overlanders or boondockers and go around places. Drove trucks (18-wheelers) for almost a year and this country is beautiful. Prior to my retirement in 2020, that was my plan with this truck. Modify it for overlanding and join a group. Had followed a few on instagram and I liked it. Some of them are solos solo men, solo women, some are couples and some are families.

It didn't happen. The funds that I saved for the overlanding project was used up. Life got difficult in 2020 and a few years after that. A family member and his young family needed help and that's where the fund went to. But I still have the truck, I drive it just once in a while. Start it every few days to keep the battery charged. It is my go to truck. It maybe a life saver of some sort. And no I never lend it out to anybody, not even to a family member. Last thing I need is for it to get all banged up. I consider this truck to be my life line. I have to say it.

But anyways, I wish and pray for the best for you.

 

I've been living in a truck for the last 2 years, the tundra is a giant step up from the 88 ranger. I was able to acquire a cheap camper in decent condition (it doesn't fit the truck and is too heavy, but F it) and I was saving for a trip to the salton, then all up and down 66. Hopefully that can still be a thing. Im never going to get rid of the tundra, it was my dad's pride and joy and it's the most reliable thing in my life. No matter how bad things get my truck will always be there for me.

 

If I'm brutally honest what stops me is the thought of surviving. It would be just my luck id take a bullet to the brain and survive that shit. I actually think God has a lifetime of bullshit planned for me and he wouldn't let me out so goddamn easy

 

I didn't realize you were living out of a truck for 2 years. Honestly dude, your exactly where you choose to be. The people who love you already knew you could be more. The question is, when will you act on that belief?

It's harsh but the truth. I sincerely hope you find your way. Get a mentor, religious or not, find a way to sort yourself out. Own your sht. Learn how to work through your emotions in a healthy way.

I wish you the best.

 

You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of bullshit with that outlook, tbh.

God doesn't help or hurt my life, it's all on me. Take ownership of your life.

Spend some time grieving the death/divorce, whatever it is.

Find a better job and surround yourself with positive people. Good luck man

 

Thank you. I'm not actually blaming anybody but myself, I understand what got me here and it's not like that situation was entirely beyond my control. I've admitted that much, now I just need to admit defeat and start over. I just wish it were as easy to do as it is to say