Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

I consider myself a pretty good cook, but after many attempts to cook the perfect turkey, I completely fail at it every time. All the preparation with picking out the right bird, brining it for days with the right fucking herbs and other magical ingredients always leads me to the same eventual conclusion, a dry piece of shit I wouldn't want my enemies to be forced to eat. Fuck turkeys.

 

Isn't your Thanksgiving on a different date?

 

It's the skin that vexes me. Fried, roasted, smoked. When I get the meat right, the skin is not to my liking. When the skin is right, it's done too early. Mostly because I can't time it right.

 

The secret is to cook it in a turkey bag.

 

Well if you're doing that it'll definitely not taste right.

 

I drink lots of pineapple juice!

 

Get yourself a fryer. Or a bottle or 2 of bourbon and smoke it. Baked turkey is nothing to write home about.

 

Hashtagtotalfactsrighthere

 

On this topic
Someone explain how ups has survived Amazon delivery

I used to see ups trucks everywhere

now I see Amazon vans

Amazon replicated ups in short order

took all the easy routes

and handed the shitty routes to ups and contractors

amazing

 

Yeah, ours is in October. I missed it this year due to being at work.

 

Amazon charges a big percentage for sellers to use Amazon.
UPS certainly has had a volume drop over the years, but we have plenty of stuff to move.
They are gutting our 40-year-old hub and rebuilding the inside to make it automated.
That gets rid of a lot of part-timers and their management.

We are still hauling and delivering a lot of Amazon stuff.
One or 2 days a week I'll bring a 100% full 53' trailer from an Amazon hub in Little Rock back to Dallas.
I pick it up at the UPS hub in Little Rock, take it to my hub in Mesquite, and then it gets unloaded in Arlington.
Someone else takes it the days I don't.

Shippers are also using a lot of UPS Surepost these days.
We deliver it to the local post office and they deliver it to homes.
It usually adds 3 or 4 days to the delivery, but it's cheaper for them than us delivering it.

I'm not sure but I think most Amazon delivery drivers are contractors, 99% of their semi-drivers are.
Like FedEx, most of their semi-drivers are contractors, except FedEx freight which work for FedEx.
I believe most of the FedEx Home delivery drivers are contractors, except for FedEx Express.

2 or 3 years to go and I'll be done with all of it..

 

I can either get a single serve pre-made turkey dinner meal a local grocery chain provides or make a pot of tortellini pasta that will last 2-3 days. I bought the ingredients for the pasta already but I am kinda craving the turkey dinner. I guess we'll see when we get there.

Holidays have always been kinda rough for me. Family is mostly deceased and I just don't feel like attending holiday dinners at my various friends homes. In the past I would usually get hammered off of booze and get even more bummed out but thankfully I'm past that.

Coworkers always talk about all the stuff they are doing and when they ask me what my plans are, I just shrug my shoulders and say "laundry and enjoy the time off".

 

This community is no place for hate...

PS>>> Reported... @Azblue

PPS>>>

 

You're Canadian. We're not allowed to use that emoji. Handguns are verboten. Use this one, its a bolt gun.

 

All three women in my house have December birthdays.

#badfamilyplanning

 

Is your birthday in march or April?

 

October. We’re too busy in the Spring for birthdays.

 

Oof! Good luck

The three women in my life are Dec, May and June.

 

Wife's birthday is July 8, mine is July 5, anniversary is July 11.
Its a busy week..

 

December birthdays are the best. Mines Pearl Harbor.

 

My brother is July 4, his wife is July 1. They decided to get married in the fall to alleviate the need for another celebration.

 

The fall is busy for us.

September 1: anniversary
September 10: daughter's birthday
September 13: BIL's GF's birthday
September 24: (late) grandfather's birthday
September 25: dad's birthday
September 26: parents' anniversary
September 30: wife's birthday

In October we have Thanksgiving and my birthday then in November we have my wife's parents' birthdays.

Just one of the reasons we had the twins in the spring.

 

When I think back to the craziest of women I dated in my lifetime, they all had December birthdays.
Sagittarius women are crazy, but they're a lot of fun for a short time...

 

My wife's birthday is Dec 24

 

Sagittarius are fun, and a little spicy. Sometimes a lot! But I like it, I’m a Libra.

21st for my wife. Solstice.

 

What do you call a nice person who was born abroad?










Ma'am.

 

Looking for lap tops for the wife
She wants am Apple but any good\smooth running laptop will be good
Is this really a great deal?
https://www.bestbuy.com/site/apple-...-512gb-ssd-space-gray/6489726.p?skuId=6489726

 

Here are some photos from the Loveland sculpture garden.