Please love your children a little extra today.

Cannot fathom this. Nothing sounds right to say in response. Just here hurting with you as a father.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I can give you a bro hug. I have a almost 5 month old boy, a 2 1/2 year old boy, and a 18 year old daughter (adopted). They are my world. I will hug all of them and kiss my boys extra today. I cant even imagine... My condolences to you and your family.

 

My 3 kids are exactly the same age as yours. Can’t imagine how painful this must be. Deeply sorry for your loss. Will be praying for you and your family.

 

No words can help you here right now. I promise that I will dive that extra hug, and just talk with my daughter. I am so sorry for your loss Anthony.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and can't begin to understand what you and your family are going through right now.

 

Very sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, take care now

 

Reading this breaks my heart. I am so very sorry to learn of your family's loss.

 

This. I've been a member of many sites in the past, and no other site compares to the camaraderie and brotherhood on this site.

OP - you've got our prayers; and if there's anything at all we can do to help, please let us know.

 

OMG Anthony! I'm SO incredibly sorry! We will pray for you and your family!

 

Thank you everyone for your support, it has really helped through this difficult time.

 

Keeping you and your family in my prayers. My kids are 18 and 13. The crap kids go through today is amazing. It is far worse that what any prior generation experienced. I hugged the hell out of them last night and took extra time to check in and make sure they were doing okay.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and wish you and your family the very best.

 

Anthony, I am a father of four and my youngest is 17. He has been struggling with his battle against depression and possibly bi-polar disorder for almost years. We to have been in regular therapy and on so many different medicines and still feel completely overwhelmed. I only mention this so I can say that I know the fear of the phone being off, or when its still locating at home when he was supposed to be at school 45 minutes ago. I know you're exhausted and I know there isn't a script for what to say to the other kids, or your family, or your wife. In my heart I also know that if you have fought through those issues and you are asking for prayers then you are still on the right track you definitely have to be a good man/Father. Just as I imagine you are trying to do, focus on that amazing 16 year old son and the blessing he was in the short time he was here. My deepest sympathies and prayers are the least I can offer and I promise to pull my 17 year old close tonight and hug him as hard as I can as I pray for your son.

Lastly, whatever we (forum members) can do in remembrance of your son please try to keep us posted.

 

I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers will include your family. As your family tries to process this grief there is a group called Compassionate Friends out there for parents who have lost a child and or for others who may have lost someone they were close to because of suicide.

My step uncle used this group when his son in college committed suicide. I also used this group when an academy classmate of mine wound up committing suicide back in 2011.

This is a horrible situation but this group if nothing else lets you know that others out there do know the pain and grief your family is dealing with right now.

I hope your family can find some comfort in counseling and talking with others.

If you need anything please PM me on here.
Sorry for this tragic loss.
Respectfully,
JT

 

So sorry for your loss, no words, deepest condolences, will do with the kiddos tonight

 

Very sorry to hear.

Suicide is no easy topic to deal with - and unless you’ve been there - a lot of well meaning people just don’t know what to say or don’t understand how easily their well intended thoughts can be misinterpreted.

Just know there is support available and take advantage of it for yourself and your family.

Sometimes - there are no indications of what someone is dealing with. It’s especially tough when your talking a kid. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

 

I am extremely sorry for your loss and cannot fathom how you and your family must feel.
My wife lost her 24 year old brother to addiction in 16’ …shortly after we found out we were expecting. We chose to not find out gender bc I knew the man upstairs had something planned. When I watched my son arrive here …no words describe that.
I am a rookie father compared to some of you (5 & 3) but know that as I read this sitting in my shop on a quiet day …wishing for more business… that your post just gave me clarity on what matters in life…the ones you love and the time you get to spend with them while we are here.
I haven’t met you or shook your hand but know tonite many of us are praying for you and family.

 

I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

I finally got linked back to this after seeing all the flags flying and not understanding what it was about. I'm almost sad regretting I looked but I need to get this out there.

@TucsonTundra1794 when I was 12 going on 13, my 17yo brother pulled that same disappearing act, long before cell phones were around ('89). We assumed he was driving across country to visit us, fun road trip or whatever, impulsive teen, missing us because he decided to relocate a few months ahead of dad's retirement so he wouldn't come in mid-year of his Junior year.

Instead, we got a call 3 days later, police found him in his car, behind a Lowes department store, on the dirt road to a historic cemetery, GSW to the head, seat reclined, grandmother's pistol in-hand. They only found him b/c someone visiting a family's gravesite called in a 'suspicious car'.

It unraveled my life. My parents split up less than 2 years later, and while they eventually reconciled, I was never their focus after losing him. They pulled away instead, and I rocketed off the deep end in the following years because my parents were too preoccupied by losing their 1st to pay attention to their only remaining.

I never got "real" counseling, it was never offered, huge mistake on my parents part. Closest I had was an older neighbor friend/mechanic in San Diego, where we were stationed at the time, who lost two of his siblings. Talking to him was priceless to my sanity. They never asked me how I was doing. We never checked in with each other. It honestly felt as if we weren't allowed to talk about it, it's still taboo to talk about him today, which is hard because my son looks so much like him, it's crazy.

All this to say: I'm parent now. My kids are in the age range of your two remaining kids. I can't imagine losing either of mine, but if you need to talk to someone that's been through it before from the kids' side, maybe someone to tell you the shit you should NOT do if what I'm writing here isn't enough, I'm happy to toss you my number. Inbox me.

I can't stress this enough, if you don't take me up on this offer:

It's been more than 3 decades, still hurts. My older brother was my idol, it's tugging at me just writing this one sentence. Get help. There are people who understand how your brain processes trauma and grief and can help you process it. Kinda like the airplane video, "put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others" - don't do what my parents did, and NOT get professional help, get the kids help too. This won't just "fade" with time and it's apparently easy to lose sight of them as you work through it as a fully-emotionally-mature adult - imagine what they're going through being a decade or two away from that maturity.

I'm sorry for your loss. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

EDIT: Hell - I can holler at my parents and see if they'd chat with you, actually. We just had to talk to my brother's last girlfriend in San Diego about this, because her child committed suicide recently also. Just LMK.

 

Phuk me…I need a tissue for these, um, allergies. Who’s cutting onions!?

I’m about to go yank my kids out of school just so I can hug them.

You all will be in my prayers tonight.

 

There is nothing that I can say, reflect on, nor read to understand your pain, grief, or strife regarding this. All I know to say is that this is more than a website of doods, and doo-dettes with trucks/cars/tools. We've got you, and your family as best we can. As many others in the four pages ahead of me have said. I'm sorry for your loss, and the the emotional turmoil thereafter.

We're here for you, and your family. As a community we stand behind you, and with you. You're not alone.

 

Brutal man, sending love to 12 y/o Shifty. That's a rough age to lose your older brother, especially being so close to him.
I lost my older brother to suicide when I was 26, luckily it didn't tear my parents apart but it took a long time before my mom could smile again. My brother and I weren't close and different in every way possible, I still think about it and wish we had a better relationship back then.

 

Hindsight is 20/20. It makes every potentially regrettable thing clear as day. Sorry you went through it too, there's never a 'good age' for it.

I had a hard life for the decade after. After the decades since, I find some solace in knowing, "it made me what I am today". That one event is why you'll consistently see me go out of my way to help others, same you and others see me do day-in and day-out on here on the forum if I'm available, and if you ask any of the guys here who I've met in person, I'm always aiming to pull a laugh out of everyone, even if it's at my own expense.

Life is too short to spend on regrets. Suicide is never the answer, even when it seems like it's the only answer.

 

Yeah, I don't beat myself up about it. Life's too good to dwell on what-ifs.
Definitely not a good age for it, sucks no matter what.

You're a good dude on here, MOST of the 1st gen crowd will agree.

 

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family as you go through this trying time. As a mental health practitioner myself, please let me know what I can do to link you up with resources and counseling for you and your family.

 

Godspeed to your son and prayers for you and your family.

 

rip and so sorry for your loss. prayers to you and family. thank you for the reminder.

additionally, given some recent sudden deaths in our family, i've been making sure i have all my affairs in order and my will is up to date in case i go any minute.

 

holy crap...I'm sitting here losing my shit at work after reading this. wow.
Proof in point you never know what sort of day someone else is having, or what past they have had that steers their current path.
And I'm so glad to have this crew to lean on and share with and gain insight from.

 

Prayers and condolences .