I need an intervention

My wife and I are like crack addicts gobbling down this leftover Halloween candy. We also accidentally picked up an unwrapped bag of KitKats we have to eat. Someone please stop me.

 

I’ve got like 5 bags left over. Want em?


So, little lotion to wash them down?

 

That's like asking a heroin addict if he wants a few ounces. Cruel.

 

@TaquitoBandito has a support group for this. You send him the KitKats and he’ll take care of the rest.

 

Yeah, but I have skittles, starburst, peanut butter cups, laffy taffy and such. So not the same kind of poison….

 

Sugar is the common denominator.

 

You need to have your wife hide your wallet and keys. She also needs to take your phone and any internet access you may have. Ask her to lock you in a room with the KitKats along with a couple of gallons of drinking water. She needs to leave you in there for at least 36 hours after the KitKats are consumed. After 12 hours she can start slowly introducing you to bland foods by sliding saltines under the door and then slowly transitioning to fruit roll ups.

 

Just kill me.

 

Once the KitKats are gone and you’ve shit yourself uncontrollably…

 

As opposed to shitting yourself in a controlled manner?

 

You have to hit rock bottom before you can begin the uphill road to recovery. Oh crap, looking at those photos, maybe you have.

If I can quit drinking, you can do this. (Day 11 sober here)

 

Is that the hooker’s phone number on the notepad?

 

Getting carpet-licking drunk can be fun, at least in the short term.

But don’t accuse me of being in my right mind. “Not criminally responsible” might be closer.

 

I'm paralyzed with fear at just the thought of that. Especially during the political campaign seasons, which now never end. So...

 

Thanks for that. Now you’ve got me drinking (I’m always eating KitKats).

 

Well everyone seems to have seen through my plea for help with leftover Halloween candy to my true addiction.

 

Jesus is the answer.

 

Wait................. you can buy unwrapped Kit Kats ? Thats a GAME CHANGER !

 

Just think of all those calories you’ve been leaving on the table all these years, having to unwrap the bars individually…

 

I know right ! OH BOY, more therapy needed......................

 

I thought you were needing an intervention in regards to all the mods you have been doing.....whew

 

I'm in the same boat but I also rob my kids stash. I'm a very bad daddy...

 

It’s called Dad tax. Helps prepare them for the real world.

 

Whooooo... Well done!! Best decision I've ever made was to quit drinkin' and druggin'. Pretty much everything I've touched ever since just turns to gold (with a little bit of work on my part)

I dunno who wants to be sober and I definitely ain't in my right mind, but I can tell you that everyone in my life is damn glad I am!!

Hats off to those who can indulge like a gentleman, I just never quite figured out the whole "moderation" thing. Still haven't, so I just try to keep my addictions limited to things with a low probability of getting me arrested or dead.

 

So, no KitKat issues? Cause my triglycerides are soaring.

 

KitKats not so much, but you may not wanna' leave the little fun size Snickers unattended.