Adopting a child.....

Fellas, if you have any input, please shed some light here.

I didnt have the best childhood and it motivated to make something of myself. My wife and I are not rich, but we do pretty well. Enough to financially support a couple of kids and live a very comfortable life. That wasn't the case when I was a kid. I was, however, surrounded by love.

I've always wanted to adopt a child and my wife just wasn't willing to do so. Well, we recently had our first baby and she's the most incredible baby girl. We couldn't be happier. Well, I now have my wife open to at least looking into the process since we created one of our own.

There are thousands and thousands of kids that will grow up almost as a "number" rather than being loved and being able to live the childhood that a child should experience. I want to show a kid love thats never really experienced it before. I want to adopt.

I know it can be an expensive process, (upwards of 20k-30k), but can anyone else shed some light or first/second hand experience of this tedious process?

 

Thank you!

 

I can't speak to the adoption process but anyone willing to adopt a child is top notch caliber in my book, especially if they can have their own.

Youre a good one, Charlie Brown!!!!!

 

You can always adopt from dcf and the cost is a lot lower and you would truly be making a difference in a child's life

 

Adoption is a great thing!

I was adopted and lived a very happy and healthy life.

Great idea. Adoption doesn't happen enough in my opinion.

 

Good for you for at least considering it. I've heard it's expensive and time consuming process. I know some folks that went to China because the process was 10X easier and less expensive (good ol' USA). Sorry I don't have much input for you other than that. I think @Almaboy is available for adoption. Already potty trained and mods could be cheaper than a raising a growing child.

 

That's a really cool man! I'm sure there are reasons why but I don't understand why it has to cost so much. That money would go better to supporting the new child.

 

My wife and I almost went down this road since it took nearly 2 years to get pregnant and with the help of IVF. I think its amazing you're even considering and shows the type of person you are!

 

We were wanting to adopt, tried to have another child for 7 years after our first and gave up. It is $$$ and a long process. Out of the blue at the worst possible time(so it seemed), we had our second child a little later in life, it is good. My brother is adopted, simpler times, my mom was a nurse at a hospital, mom couldn't keep my bro, boom my big brother. I never knew till told, and it never mattered for a second. I admire and encourage you.

Yes. My brother always wanted to know about his biological parents, but there is no trail, and while there are negatives(family health history etc.), it would have been an issue at some point. Besides, we are his family.

 

My boss has been trying for 2+ years to adopt a child. Unreal what you have to go through. He makes 6 figures, has a beautiful house and the district attorney signs his wife's paycheck. He has almost given up because it is such an emotional roller coaster.

Awesome that you are wanting to do this, good luck to you sir!

 

Thanks for the input guys.

I guess I totally understand the overseas adoption. And in a sense, changing a life regardless of location, would still be an impactful decision.

As I type this, I realize it may even be more impactful than a domestic adoption. At least in the states those children have food and shelter. That's not always the case overseas.

It just stinks that the government and money is what stand in the way of creating opportunity for our fostered children stateside.

 

I'm prepared for some emotional ups and downs and I'm good with putting the money forth for the process. I am NOT for pissing money away for no reason though.

 

Couple years ago I worked with a guy that he and his wife adopted 3 Ethiopian kids. Couldn't imagine doing that myself but had mad respect for the guy.

 

I (and my brother...not biological) was adopted by really good parents the day i was born and i am very thankful. My real mom was 16 when she had me. Thats all i know. I always think about how much less of a life i could have had. It takes super awesome people to adopt. I was adopted thru Catholic Charities. Years ago i looked into finding my birth mom and that alone is a big process and they do not gurantee any info at all and it costs$$. Things are kept very confidential. Joe...you and your wife are awesome for even considering adoption!

 

My son just recently got custody of my 3 grand kids. We are all living together now. Never thought I'd be in this situation..but it is was it is... They were finally removed from his ex girl friend. Tough times but for the better. I'm very close with the county social workers on this case. I can tell you that there are a lot of kids of various ages that need foster parents. A good place to start. These kids get moved around a lot and are just looking for someone to take them in permanently. In fact, Mari**a, the social worker in charge of my sons case was left up for adoption years ago and she recently met her birth mother. Meeting went quite well actually. Things happen, especially when you are young. Just thought I'd toss out my 3 cents....

 

@Almaboy is definitely available for adoption. Thanks for bringing that up, Jose. He's free to the first good home

Seriously though...Joe, taking on another child that needs a great home is nothing short of difficult. I'm telling you this from experience.

I was raised in a middle class home that didn't have everything I wanted but had everything I needed. My parents weren't so fortunate so they went without what they needed to give me what I wanted.

Spoiled?
Probably a lot, which might have influenced how I operated in my teens. I wasnt present a lot of my teens, nor all 8 of my college years, and only defogged around 36 years old. I tell you this not to speak of me but to shed light on the fact that not everyone that has troubles were brought up in a rough home.

I was raised by two of the most loving people I have ever met. So were you! That's why your parents should be proud they raised a man that would put his wants and needs behind that of a child that he didnt create.
I'm also coming to you from a relating stand point on that note...Not one of my kids did I create. Their mother ditched them in October and they are old enough to realize what's going on. You wanna talk about troubled kids....the kids are 12, 15, and 17, and each are about to have a birthday

I know what it's like taking care of tough kids that are not with their mother or father.

Again, Im not saying all this to hear myself talk, i say this because i can relate.

7 months ago our world was turned upside down and all 4 of us were in shell shock. The difference today is enormous. The family flourishes, the family laughs, the family teases (I wonder where they get it), the family vacations, the family has fun.....and it's all genuine.

You know why???
Because someone said "I'm not going to let you grow up without parents." PERIOD.
Not only did that person say this but he also told them he would never leave them and would forever teach the top notch values, respect, determination, and most of all...what it's like to love and take care of others. These kids have come a long way in 7 months and there's already a transformation.

I blabber on because my respect for your desire to provide a life for a child that isnt yours hits my heart like a Tundra driving over it.

You got balls boy!! Grab that sack, do what you gotta do to provide a life for your child, then the adopted child, and you have not only earned a stairway to heaven but I'll be at the top ready to shake your hand, stare you in the eye, and tell you again...."you are a hell of a man!"

The number 1 lesson you should take from this ridiculously long rant....if you choose to take another person's child into your home you can never allow that child to feel unsafe, unwanted, or like they are a burden on you. You will be doing more damage than not taking him/her on in the first place.

I say do it...and never waiver! Show another child some love too. They deserve it!

 

Amen^^^^^

 

Indeed Amen brother truly a life saved.

 

My wife and I have discussed adoption as well. We are open to it and may do it some day. My wife is a speach pathologist and has worked in special education for 15 years. We have even discussed raising a child with special needs which in some situations is a lifetime commitment as they may never be self sufficient. But they are just as deserving as any child.

You can make a difference and even considering adoption is awesome.

 

Don't worry man, a lot of people go to college for 8 years. They're called doctors.

 

not me

i never became, nor was educated to become a doctor. i played doctor though...constantly medicating myself