What to answer when asked to help someone move?

Hey guys! I am so sick and tired of friends and family members constantly asking me to help them move this and that. What is your best way to answer this question if someone ask, hey can you help me pick up/ move ______?

 

What date? June whatever. Oh, sorry. Booked that date already.

 

How about the day after? Are you free then?

 

Wow, people must know that I'm an asshole too. No one has ever asked me to help move anything.

 

That'll be $50 an hour plus gas beer and pizza. Also I charge $.50 a mile.

 

My family's close knit and I'm loyal to a fault with my buddies.

Don't mind helping family and friends out, but I do ask them to donate beer and pizza

They've helped me on more than one occasion so...tit for tat.

 

I have gout.

 

Buy your own Tundra

 

get a bed rack or a tonneau cover.

 

We do

 

I

X2^^
Unless it's in-laws, and they haven't done shit for me so no way to them

 

Tonneau cover x2
Crewmax.
Convince another family member to buy a long bed.

 

This definitely works

 

This is the exact reason I never drive my Tundra to church. Mormons are notorious for asking for help from the guy at church with the truck. When I was growing up, my Dad even had people from church, that he barely even knew, flat-out ask to borrow his truck for the day. My Dad, being the nice guy he is, let him borrow it. When it was returned that night at 10 (4 hours past when it was supposed to be back) the tailgate was scratched to hell, and the bumper dented up so bad that the tailgate wouldn't lower all the way. I usually share that story when people ask for my help. Either that or I tell them, "Sure, I can help, but I only have a certain amount of time I can help." Unless, like @Law323 said, they are my buddies or family, then I'm down to help whenever. Pizza and Mountain Dew are required payment though.

 

You could just start rocking silkies aka the daisy dukes of freedom. They're comfortable, allow maximum ventilation and movement and generally intimidate the general populous, especially when they're tight enough accentuate your man-bulge.
I doubt anyone will want to ask you for favors if you have your pork and beans half showing.

 

Buying a Crewmax works. If they had something to move as small as the CM bed they could probably carry it by hand!!!!







That was a jab at CM''s if nobody caught it

 

Elders quorum is essentially a free moving company.

 

SOUNDS like @Thegr8punkin story. Gotta love Mormons

I got my Expedition back one time and there were cigarette butts in the ashtray and it stunk

 

No kidding. Nothing like getting an email at 9:30..."we're moving such and so at 10, so see you there."

 

Is he a fellow jello-eater?

 

I already work 16 hours a day 7 days a week.

 

He's not, but his buddy tore up his truck

 

I don't even know what that means but it was funny as crap!!

 

Tell him he already has enough wives for the rest of town so keep his expectations in his pants

 

Utah eats more Jello and ketchup per capita than any other state. I'm sure @FlashCulprit can confirm.

 

Us Mormons are known for eating a lot of Jello. Personally, I hate Jello.
http://www.businessinsider.com/jello-became-utah-official-state-food-2016-11

 

Thats all you can afford since you have 8 wives

 

Does anyone eat ketchup flavored jell-o?