1. Welcome to Tundras.com!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tundra discussion topics
    • Transfer over your build thread from a different forum to this one
    • Communicate privately with other Tundra owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Bob, Jan 4, 2014.

?

Have you ever used a bidet?

  1. Yes, and have one at home

    5 vote(s)
    17.9%
  2. Yes, but don't have one of my own

    7 vote(s)
    25.0%
  3. No

    6 vote(s)
    21.4%
  4. No but I'm interested in getting one

    2 vote(s)
    7.1%
  5. No, the idea of shooting water up my butt is not appealing to me

    8 vote(s)
    28.6%
  1. Jul 18, 2025 at 8:56 AM
    BlackNBlu

    BlackNBlu Justa Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2023
    Member:
    #109152
    Messages:
    1,412
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Rich
    MN
    Vehicle:
    24 Limited CM 5.5 Blueprint TRD OR
    5100's, 285/75/18, Air Lift bags, bits and bobs
    I hate flossing.
     
    T-Rex266, 1794TX and AZBaldy like this.
  2. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:04 AM
    1794TX

    1794TX Should be taken in small doses

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2019
    Member:
    #38971
    Messages:
    4,147
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Steven
    N.TX
    Vehicle:
    '20 1794
  3. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:18 AM
    BlackNBlu

    BlackNBlu Justa Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2023
    Member:
    #109152
    Messages:
    1,412
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Rich
    MN
    Vehicle:
    24 Limited CM 5.5 Blueprint TRD OR
    5100's, 285/75/18, Air Lift bags, bits and bobs
    From the mind of Les Claypool and Primus, I give you some of the most bizarre lyrics ever written:


    Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
    And she shows it off to all her friends
    One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her
    So she caged him up with cyclone fence
    Along came Lou with the old baboon
    And said, "Recognize that smell?
    Smells like seven layers
    That beaver eats Taco Bell"

    Now Rex, he was a Texan out of New Orleans
    And he travelled with the carnival shows
    He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
    And he candied up his nose
    He got wind of the big brown beaver
    So he though he'd take himself a peek
    But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
    And he ain't pissed for a week and a half

    Now Wynona took her big brown beaver
    And she stuck him up in the air
    Said, "I sure do love this big brown beaver
    And I wish I did have a pair"
    Now the beaver once slept for seven days
    And it gave us all an awful fright
    So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
    And the bastard tried to bite me

    Wynona loved her big brown beaver
    And she stroked him all the time
    She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
    She might have a porcupine

    Source: Musixmatch
    Songwriters: Leslie E Claypool / Timothy W Alexander / Reid L Iii Lalonde
     
    AZBaldy, T-Rex266, 1794TX and 3 others like this.
  4. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:21 AM
    Cpl_Punishment

    Cpl_Punishment Do unto others as they've done to you

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2019
    Member:
    #25048
    Messages:
    16,421
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Neil
    Alberta, Canada
    Vehicle:
    2020 MGM SR5 CM 4X4
    Boost Auto mirrors, RSB, Leer Legend canopy, Line-X bed liner
  5. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:31 AM
    Florida AF

    Florida AF Florida Outdoors... Heaven

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2023
    Member:
    #94379
    Messages:
    1,947
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Logan
    North Florida
    Vehicle:
    2017 1974
    Got the second interview! Scheduled for Monday afternoon!
     
  6. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:32 AM
    AZBaldy

    AZBaldy Bald, James Bald, 0069...

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Member:
    #78264
    Messages:
    528
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Z
    Kaliforniastan
    Vehicle:
    2008 SR5 4Runner
    Great news! Best of luck!
     
  7. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:37 AM
    Florida AF

    Florida AF Florida Outdoors... Heaven

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2023
    Member:
    #94379
    Messages:
    1,947
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Logan
    North Florida
    Vehicle:
    2017 1974
    Thank you sir! Fingers and toes are crossed!!!
     
  8. Jul 18, 2025 at 9:49 AM
    j-utah

    j-utah Aiming in the dark member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2023
    Member:
    #97209
    Messages:
    1,297
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Utah
    Fortress of Solitude, CO
    Vehicle:
    2024 Tundra SR5
    Dice valve stem caps (black)
    That’s like Mr. Bungle weird.
     
  9. Jul 18, 2025 at 10:29 AM
    1794TX

    1794TX Should be taken in small doses

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2019
    Member:
    #38971
    Messages:
    4,147
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Steven
    N.TX
    Vehicle:
    '20 1794
    I think it's three joints, a peyote tab, NOx, and some liquor all at once that wrote those lyrics.
     
  10. Jul 18, 2025 at 10:38 AM
    T-Rex266

    T-Rex266 Owner, CTO and executive chairman of X Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Member:
    #6
    Messages:
    164,177
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Elon
    :woot:
     
    AZBaldy likes this.
  11. Jul 18, 2025 at 10:43 AM
    BlackNBlu

    BlackNBlu Justa Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2023
    Member:
    #109152
    Messages:
    1,412
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Rich
    MN
    Vehicle:
    24 Limited CM 5.5 Blueprint TRD OR
    5100's, 285/75/18, Air Lift bags, bits and bobs
    I'm thinking there had to be some magic mushrooms in the mix somewhere.
     
    AZBaldy, Leo's first, j-utah and 3 others like this.
  12. Jul 18, 2025 at 10:47 AM
    NWPirate

    NWPirate Give me overtime or give me death

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2019
    Member:
    #40251
    Messages:
    12,267
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Zach
    WA
    Vehicle:
    2017 SR5 TRD CM 2024 Model Why?
    Hell yeah, good luck!

    You've missed a lot o_O:rofl:
     
  13. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:03 PM
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Member:
    #3296
    Messages:
    11,149
    First Name:
    DADA
    THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
    Vehicle:
    2014 MGM DC SR5
    Well, the UPS driver buyout has become a reality.

    They're offering $1800 per year of service, and one still receives full pension and retirement insurance that has already been earned.
    So they'll pay me $70K to retire, and I was thinking about retiring anyway.

    ALTHOUGH the drivers chosen are subject to the needs of the company at each given facility in seniority order.
    Even though I'm #18 out of 250 drivers, I might not get it if I apply...:confused:
    No matter what, I can still retire, but the 'bonus' would be nice.

    I've got some decisions to make in the next 2 weeks.
    It is a 2-week window to apply that starts today.

    The Teamsters are pissed.
    Why do you ask?
    IMHO it is because they don't get a dime of the buyout money..:eek2::cool:
     
  14. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:06 PM
    Cpl_Punishment

    Cpl_Punishment Do unto others as they've done to you

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2019
    Member:
    #25048
    Messages:
    16,421
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Neil
    Alberta, Canada
    Vehicle:
    2020 MGM SR5 CM 4X4
    Boost Auto mirrors, RSB, Leer Legend canopy, Line-X bed liner
    So if you apply but don't receive the buyout, could you keep working? Or would they force you to retire without it?
     
  15. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:11 PM
    Azblue

    Azblue Beer is Good Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2017
    Member:
    #11025
    Messages:
    9,953
    Gender:
    Male
    The Dirty T ( ^_^)_且
    Just quickly catching up on a break at work. Reading through the recent posts, I must say y'all are a bunch of sick, possibly deranged weirdos. Probably why I like it here.
     
  16. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:12 PM
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Member:
    #3296
    Messages:
    11,149
    First Name:
    DADA
    THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
    Vehicle:
    2014 MGM DC SR5
    I could either keep working or retire without the buyout.
    They cannot force anyone to retire.

    Since I've been off with surgeries since January, the thought of going back isn't very appealing.
    I've already hit top retirement pay at 35 years, I have 39.
    It doesn't go up any higher, whether I stay a couple more years or not..

    I have a feeling that when this contract ends 8/1/2028, it's going to get worse.
    There will either be a minimal increase in the pension, or the company will work to abolish the pension for new hires.
     
    T-Rex266, j-utah, kirkb and 3 others like this.
  17. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:16 PM
    Azblue

    Azblue Beer is Good Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2017
    Member:
    #11025
    Messages:
    9,953
    Gender:
    Male
    The Dirty T ( ^_^)_且


    I hope you get it if that's what you decide to do. Personally, I hate unions, but the Teamsters are a special type of assholes ( talking about the management, not all members). I'm still pissed off with them and how much they screwed over my wife and other American Airlines employees here.
     
  18. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:18 PM
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Member:
    #3296
    Messages:
    11,149
    First Name:
    DADA
    THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
    Vehicle:
    2014 MGM DC SR5
    I do not disagree.
    I'm a union member by chance in a right-to-work state.
    My local is worthless, they have been for years.
    I only pay dues because of the pay and benefits I have on a national level.
    There are a very few coworkers that don't pay dues, but still have the same union benefits and pay as those who do pay dues.
     
  19. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:21 PM
    Azblue

    Azblue Beer is Good Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2017
    Member:
    #11025
    Messages:
    9,953
    Gender:
    Male
    The Dirty T ( ^_^)_且

    Good luck, hope you get it and they also give you the hot personal assistant you most assuredly deserve.
     
  20. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:24 PM
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Member:
    #3296
    Messages:
    11,149
    First Name:
    DADA
    THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
    Vehicle:
    2014 MGM DC SR5
    Maybe this one...:confused:

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:39 PM
    NWPirate

    NWPirate Give me overtime or give me death

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2019
    Member:
    #40251
    Messages:
    12,267
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Zach
    WA
    Vehicle:
    2017 SR5 TRD CM 2024 Model Why?
    :fistbump:
     
  22. Jul 18, 2025 at 12:42 PM
    AZBaldy

    AZBaldy Bald, James Bald, 0069...

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Member:
    #78264
    Messages:
    528
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Z
    Kaliforniastan
    Vehicle:
    2008 SR5 4Runner
    I think you underestimate the elite level of gooners we have in this thread...:rofl:
     
  23. Jul 18, 2025 at 1:05 PM
    kirkb

    kirkb Lurking Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2023
    Member:
    #105077
    Messages:
    468
    Gender:
    Male
    DFW
    Vehicle:
    2024 Tundra Limited 4x4 WCP Nightshade
    Even without the bonus, with pension and assuming the retirement insurance cost is decent, that really would seem enticing.

    Example: The retiree health insurance price offered by my previous employer was going to be 5X the employee price. Needless to say, not sustainable.

    Hope it works out for you.
     
  24. Jul 18, 2025 at 1:07 PM
    JMB

    JMB Not new, just a little old.

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2014
    Member:
    #156
    Messages:
    7,654
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Chesapeake, VA
    Vehicle:
    2013 Super White Tundra DC
    5100s all around, 295-70-18 Defenders, BD reverse lights, de-badged, interior LEDs, footwell LEDs, reverse LEDs, ARE cap, front receiver hitch for cooler holder, cooler holder/rod rack, backup camera, Kenwood HU, Tyger nerf bars, Husky floor liners, folding rear seats, remote battery posts, plastidip grill chrome, Powder coat bumpers.
    I highly recommend retirement if you can work out health insurance
     
  25. Jul 18, 2025 at 1:50 PM
    VelcrowKnight

    VelcrowKnight New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2025
    Member:
    #133582
    Messages:
    106
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Jed
    Vehicle:
    2025 SR5
    None
    I know @GODZILLA has mentioned my fubar back to a few of you in Colorado welp the saga may be coming to an end.

    I had an appointment with Dr. Kuklo at the Denver International Spine Center for a second opinion. He says I do need a fusion t10-12 but I don’t need what the Wyoming doc wanted which was from the sternum to the top of my butt.

    looks like I have a few more years of guiding and murdering elk ahead of me. Also just picked up golf
     
    T-Rex266, j-utah, NWPirate and 5 others like this.
  26. Jul 18, 2025 at 1:55 PM
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

    Joined:
    May 4, 2016
    Member:
    #3296
    Messages:
    11,149
    First Name:
    DADA
    THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
    Vehicle:
    2014 MGM DC SR5
    I'll be on retirement insurance until I'm 65, 2 years, then Medicare.
    Wife will be 65 in 4 years.
    I don't pay out of pocket for insurance now, for either of us, but it will be $200 each per month if I retire.
    I'm getting tired of 13 hour days, if we had any 8 or 9-hour runs that started at a decent time, I'd take them.

    Since I've been off work for the last 7 months I've felt better than I have in years.
    Lost 30 pounds, exercising in the garage almost daily.
    I'm not sitting down behind a steering wheel for 13 hours 5 days a week.

    Costco and JB's warehouse are both building stores out here.
    I could get a part-time job if I needed something to do, but I don't need the money.
    I'd drive a school bus if the hours and the kids weren't so shitty..:eek:

    Although the wife's chores and to-do lists keep me pretty busy..:cool:
     
    T-Rex266, PolishedTRD, j-utah and 5 others like this.
  27. Jul 18, 2025 at 1:59 PM
    GODZILLA

    GODZILLA New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2019
    Member:
    #35514
    Messages:
    33,797
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Adam
    Vehicle:
    '25 Limited CM SB TRD Off Road Ice Cap
    18" TRD Off Road Wheels
    If you can get the 70k that pays for a lot of months of insurance. Hope they let you take it!
     
    T-Rex266, kirkb and AZBaldy like this.
  28. Jul 18, 2025 at 2:03 PM
    BIGUGLY

    BIGUGLY I the SheepDog. I have the capacity for Violence.

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2017
    Member:
    #9982
    Messages:
    768
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Paul
    Vehicle:
    2018 Limited
    For 400 a month to cover Healthcare...get the hell out, you've earned it. Work a part time to stay somewhat busy.

    I have a different career path but no one in my field ever regretted saying screw you guys I'm going home. Spoken to a lot who stayed an extra year or two, they have all said it was dumb and not worth the headache
     
  29. Jul 18, 2025 at 2:06 PM
    Sirfive

    Sirfive Socially feral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2021
    Member:
    #58078
    Messages:
    5,436
    Gender:
    Male
    SATX
    Vehicle:
    ‘02 Limited AC TRD
    Bassani cat-back
    Insurance is a scam and doctors are evil, or too dumb to be evil they’ll settle for greedy. I dont care how wrong my opinion is, i’m gonna keep it.

    sidenote. Think i’ll be fine hanging these with epoxied 20lb magnets? I doubt theyre 2 lbs each, and i doubt my truck see’s 10G’s.
    IMG_1344.jpg


    i wanna run em off my reverse circuit, and an aux circuit, and my ai says i can do that with 2 diodes. 3a each, since the lights are only 10w each.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2025 at 2:11 PM
    T-Rex266 likes this.
  30. Jul 18, 2025 at 2:34 PM
    JMB

    JMB Not new, just a little old.

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2014
    Member:
    #156
    Messages:
    7,654
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Chesapeake, VA
    Vehicle:
    2013 Super White Tundra DC
    5100s all around, 295-70-18 Defenders, BD reverse lights, de-badged, interior LEDs, footwell LEDs, reverse LEDs, ARE cap, front receiver hitch for cooler holder, cooler holder/rod rack, backup camera, Kenwood HU, Tyger nerf bars, Husky floor liners, folding rear seats, remote battery posts, plastidip grill chrome, Powder coat bumpers.
    Based on all of that, take the buyout and don't work again. :cheers:
     

Products Discussed in

To Top