Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and grammar lessons

What, do you got your period?

 

Happy Summer Solstice Crew.

https://x.com/i/status/1936173020537929933

 

First concert I ever went to, 1974.

 

Naw, not the same vibe. Sounds too angry to me.
Blowing thru the jasmine in my mind is a real thing. In May and early June our jasmine is exquisite.

 

Dude, I know you hate summer, but that version just ruined my happy feels.

 

Hey fellow anglers and river warriors,

So, I’ve got a little story that’s almost too good not to share, and hey, maybe some of you will get a chuckle or two out of it.

As some of you know, I’m a fly fishing guide on the notoriously tricky stretch of the North Platte in Wyoming called the “ miracle Mile”. I put my clients on fish like it’s my divine right, work my ass off, and provide what some would call a world-class experience. My wife makes killer lunches (seriously, the kind that make you forget you’re in the middle of nowhere in 90+ degree heat), I make sure everyone’s got everything they need, and I’ve dedicated my professional life (a biologist by trade) to understanding these damn fish.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting: the other day, I was so committed to the cause that I camped out on the river rather than making the 1.5-hour drive home. Why? Because I knew the heat was only going to get worse and I wanted to maximize my time on the water — and to keep an eye on the fish, of course.

Enter Dick (81) and Head (78). Competent anglers, but not exactly “river veterans” from a boat. We’re doing things a little differently and I’d like to think I was doing a pretty damn good job guiding them. We will get cooler yes landed about 20 fish in 8 hours, with the smallest being 18 inches. The other boats? They caught more fish, sure, but mostly tiny ones (10-12 inches). So, technically, we did better, but of course, that didn’t stop Dick and Head from storming off, slamming my truck door, and leaving without a thank you or tip. Classy guys.

Fast forward to the next day — I was supposed to fish with them again. But after I told my outfit owner about their behavior, he decided to switch them out. Good call. The new clients? They listened, they learned, and we smashed out 70 fish including several 24+ inch monsters. Now that is a fishing day.

And what do Dick and Head do as I’m leaving yesterday? They try to engage with me, but I was hot, tired, and not in a mood to deal with their nonsense. Sometimes, the river teaches patience and humility.

Tight lines and good vibes,

 

TLDR

 

Fuck…you just connected a few random dots from my youth.

 

Dude...under no circumstance do you slam the door of someone else's truck. Not even joking. If I'd had seen that, there'd be a Spiderco size hole in a tire. Hope both those fuckers detonate a hip soon.

Not sure what rock they've lived under, but a dozen small fish have never out-dicked one larger fish. Honestly, probably a couple of cheap old bastards making a scene to justify not leaving a tip.

 

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Put on leather gloves and grab a heat gun. Put it on the LOW setting and very carefully heat up the bumper (preferably from the backside). Then push the cover back into shape with your hands (from behind). Done and done. The process is much easier if you remove the bumper cover.

 

I actually googled it after I posted. Apparently this has been a thing since 2023. And because I only shop at Whole Foods for a few hard to find items for my bar, I don't go there often. Still blew my mind that people willingly give their palm print to Amazon and co.

 

My bar patrons ask me all the time why I don't guide for a living seeing how all I talk about is river running. I look them straight in the eye and say, well it's because I don't like people enough to take them along on my cherished activities. Then I take their money for serving them too many alcoholic drinks instead of dealing with them on my boat all day. And I get to take my kids and friends instead.

 

I remember getting a notice from my health insurance company, Blue Shield of California, notifying me of a data breach and that my personal info had been exposed. The company it was exposed to...wait for it...Google...

As if the psycopathic mega-corp Google won't use my personal health info in some sort of analytic that they will sell to 3rd parties. Now you can add my personal health details to my internet browsing habits that Google may or may not bundle into a product to sell to someone.

What upsets me about these sorts of situations is not something like a palm scanner existing to make payments because people are free to opt in. It's the millions of times my personal information and privacy is exposed when I never opted in or how the information I have agreed to share gets used in ways I never agreed to. More and more it feels like privacy is an illusion and just another commodity that corporations use without my knowledge or permission to get rich.

For the who cares I have nothing to hide crowd, yeah I don't either. I live a very ordinary if not downright boring life but at the same time I don't want some analyst in a cubicle having access to my personal, including biological information.

Just hooking this into the topic of Tundra's, it's why the fact that Toyota has a camera in the 3rd gen scanning the drivers face at all times that will be a reason why I will never buy one. I'm sure the engineers who thought that one up had the best of intentions. Meanwhile the corporate number crunchers are cooking up ways to monetize it...