Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

Went to the county courthouse to renew my plates on the bike and trailer.

Decided to go sit in a restaurant, relax, and enjoy a meal.

I should have gone home. Some older guy won't shut the fuck up three booths over.

I hate people. Especially in public.

 

You're thinking too far ahead. It's the thought of all the people thinking about or trying to f%$k her. She's an attractive girl for sure and gets more attention than she is comfortable with. And it's largely because lots of dudes are pieces of shit. I can remember getting a phone call from her when she was 13 needing to be "picked up now!" because there was a truck full of grown ass dudes following and harassing her and catcalling.

 

And he eats with his mouth open.

 

Happens to guys too, but it doesn't make the news unless she's a teacher.

 

I didn't realize you could hear me that far north. I'll try and tone it down a bit.

 

I used to say that before I had 2 girls. Now it's haunting me. My 16yo daughter works at a restaurant and she commonly gets guys coming up to her. Thankfully I know the manager there and she's in a safe place for the most part.

 

Winning...

 

I've hated that feature on my wife's Cadillacs and now BMW.
On the rare occasion I drive her car, I step off the brake a second to keep the motor running when stopped.

 

You missed one. Rumor has it (from my little sister) that the Beer Can Chicken isn't that bad.

 

They’re not bad but they're not great either

 

This guy sucks.

 

I think @Azblue has an inverter style, at least it looked like it.
Also you need AC up there?

 

Are any Pringles? I mean don't get me wrong, if someone brings them to a camp lunch I'll eat them. But I can't say I've ever actually liked them.

 

Need to know how the bottomless mimosa's turned out with the wive's.

 

Garage ready…lol

 

I have one that's slightly smaller than that, it holds two cases easily and bait in the freezer. A plus because my wife got tired of cut mullet and squid strips in the two other freezers.

 

I've never experienced that or heard of it happening. They pretty much act like in the picture of my grandson holding it.
They only wanted it relocated because of the new, unplanned chicks. The hen that disappeared did so about two days before they dispatched their last rooster. Apparently is was a day or so late.

 

Here’s a fun way to wake up.
This evening at approximately 12:15 am, my son comes running down stairs to my bedroom “daddoo there’s a fire in the kitchen.” Obviously I’m sleeping and confused so I calmly walk up upstairs and sure as shit the fuckin toaster is on fire. I grabbed the goddamn thing and put it in the kitchen sink. Then grab my fire extinguisher and slay the flames. My investigation revealed that even though if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, “don’t stack shit on the toaster” my wife stacked a bunch of shit on the toaster tonight. Here’s where it gets crazy. We went to bed at 8:45. How did the thing get turned on? Also why didn’t my smoke detectors go off? They’re all under a year old with new batteries.

 

Glad you guys are safe.