Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, and Relationship Advice.

You don't have to get divorced. Try the pizza line on the wife.

 

This almost made me laugh super loud at the office. I may have popped a rib stifling it.

 

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Just imagine if it had been your pepperoni…


Wait, what!?

 

https://youtu.be/8R8mxS2E_UQ?t=20

 

I hope that is all cheese. And what degree burns did you get?

 

AzBlue, a man of wit neither sharp nor keen,
Detests the jokes that fathers love to tell.
No rhymes nor silly puns shall grace his scene,
For verse and wit, he shuns with solemn spell.

Yet in his hand, a golden treasure gleams,
A Miller cold, his one true source of cheer.
No rhyming words, no rhythmic, lofty themes,
Just crisp refreshment, smooth as liquid clear.

No bard's refrain shall ever win his heart,
Nor clever quips that others might enjoy.
Yet beer in hand, he plays a different part,
A man content with hops and barley's joy.

So let the poets rhyme and jest away,
AzBlue will sip his brew and call it day.

 

Outbound made great verse
I suspect he used A.I.
If so, that's cheating

 

There once was a poet, Outbound,
Whose sonnet was perfectly sound.
But claims that AI
Had given a try—
He scoffed, "No such bot can be found!"

 

I'm at work right now
Would like to toast the poets
Will hoist one later

 

Obviously not familiar with dick cheese.

 

If you can do this to a pizza, you'd be surprised what a nice woman would let you do to her.

 

Oh look, the cover art to Metallica’s latest album

 

If that's the case, just think of what a not-so-nice woman would let you do. The mind reels.

 

@Taco-Spike you still alive and kicking? You don't ever chime in anymore. Feel like unleashing your inner poet?

 

The not so nice one's just tell you everything you're doing wrong...

 

I know it's 2025 but he should probably pass on any girls who are packing a pepperoni.

 

Pepperoni packing girls are a hard pass.
No pun intended.

 

That's a good one. I like Landmvarks, even though they are on the mellow side of what I listen to. What did you think of Jiluka?

 

Yes

 

No one (IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF TIME) has ever ordered or even wanted a Vienna Sausage pizza

 

WTH is that thing??

Half tomato; half chipped beef...

 

At this point, I think it's safe to say that teaching the boy to fish is no longer an option

So, in spirit of your post I'm gonna need someone to start up the following 'go fund me':

#PHUCKITWE'REJUSTGONNABUYLARRYALADYFRIENDandasideofcoke