Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, Relationship Advice, and Parking Etiquette

No. I was starting further up to maintain context.

 

lol. The first pic is my favorite, but the app didn’t put a pupil in the owl’s right eye. Was creepy AF. I did a quick edit and realized I don’t have the skills or patience to do anything more.

 

What is in the water? I had a horrible week but I don’t drop in here to take it out on people.

Everybody puff puff pass!

 

You are using the internet wrong. It is made for whinging and blaming others. You, sir, need to be a better keyboard warrior.

 

Must be mercury in retrograde again.

 

So did your wife win you over by reading your horoscope and acting accordingly?

 

I have no idea what this even means. And to be honest, I thought I was being funny by blaming planets on peoples inability to manage their own self. As far as my wife goes, yeah, she's the best.

 

When does a joke become a "dad" home?

When it becomes apparent.

 

Good joke, poor spelling.

 

Stolen from tw, put here for the dad joke, and tagging @Squatting Pigeon for the obvious.

 

I think I figured out how to get rich and quit working.
Sound proof and odor proof toilet.

 

Why are you taking away all the best parts of my morning routine?

 

Just add a line off the whole house Vac system to the shitter. Done deal

 

Seems like a messy concept but I’ll allow it

 

One could afford a cleaning service though!

 

It needs to be over thought and over engineered.
Do you even know how to do anything right?

 

Sorry.. what was I thinking

 

This is what happens when you ask a tradesman to design something instead of an engineer.

 

It needs to be over thought, over engineered, agonized over and redesigned a dozen times over a decade, never actually go anywhere and then bitched about insufferably.
C'mon man, git yer shit together.

 

Yesterday was National Paranormal Day.
I had a good day but everything I did had a snafu to it.

Put solar lights on the fence.
The cheap Chinese screws kept snapping so I had to go the Lowes and get better screws.

Took the big bag of plastic grocery bags to Lowes to recycle.
The top came open and I was chasing bags thru the parking lot.

We went out to dinner.
They brought my food.
5 minutes later I had to ask for my wife's food.

Came home and the pup decided it was a good idea to paw a chunk of skin out of my shin.

But besides that, it was a good day..

Today will be better..
The wife will be gone all day shopping and getting her nails done..

 

Epic fail on my part.

 

I have to edit almost all my posts for corrections 3 or 4 times after I post them.
I spelled paranormal incorrectly in the post above yours..

 

Something was in the water yesterday. Or in my case coffee. Homeboy walks into my pharmacy waiting on psych meds. Decides to spice up his coffee with half a dozen pumps of my hand sanitizer. Comes back and does it again before security nabbed him.

 

For me it's when I actually do post something and I reply on a quote, I have issues posting reply before I actually write anything so it becomes a blind reply. Mostly my reasons for just remaining silent and hanging out in the background.

 

Post away Chris.
Feel good knowing whatever errors you may have in your post, mine will be worse...

NOTE: I had to edit this one after I posted it..