Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, and Relationship Advice.

I put up Christmas lights yesterday and it's not even November.

 

Dang! My wife would kill me…

 

Mine asked me to do it. I chickened out and didn't get on the 2nd story roof though. I bought one of those extension poles that you can use to put the clips in. Was cheaper than falling off the roof.

 

Good call. I stopped with the 2nd story when we got a metal roof. Tried to hang everything via a ladder and decided that was stupid too.

We are headed to Costco tonight and I think this is the trip where we buy a bunch of Christmas stuff…

 

We've already had one of those. Wrapping paper, bows, un-necessary amount of pillows, etc... I have a feeling there is another in my future before the actual holiday.

 

My OCD doesn’t love that the lights are not oriented correctly on the 2nd story peaks but looks good enough and the wife likes it.

 

Happy birthing day @Cpl_Punishment

 

Happy birthday @Cpl_Punishment !

 

She's a beaut, Clark.

 

Looks great. I have successfully avoided the OCD when it comes to lights, but the wife would like it if the cord was tight and each bulb faced the same direction. I just don’t have it in me to get that detailed.

 

I've got a 5 gallon bucket worth I can send your way.

 

You don't just dump it in the gravel behind your shop like my FIL?

 

When life gives you oil, you make what I call boyscout water. Dump some gas in there with it, put it in an old dishsoap squeeze bottle, and it makes a great fire starter.

 

Bet you could take all that to Walmart and “return it”. Seen it done actually.

 

I built the house next to a 50 yr old apple tree. Did everything I could to save it.
It actually survived the house build, including building up the pad 3' above grade. 2 yrs later it died, so I cut it down.
I was going to plant another apple tree there, but now I'm going to plant a spruce that won't get much more than 8' tall.
I'm going to bury an electrical line out there and an outdoor receptacle. I'm going to wrap the tree in Xmas lights and leave them on forever. Whenever it's time for lights, plug them in.
That's what the wife is getting for outdoor Xmas bullshit.
She can do whatever she wants in the house, as long as she doesn't put 100 nail holes in the walls.

 

Make sure you buy the cheapest led lights you can find so you have to rip them out of the tree 2 years later, It'll give you a chance to cuss and throw things all over the yard.

 

2yrs? I was thinking have half of them not work right out of the box

 

by way of knife through the ribs????

 

Between the 4th and 5th rib if I remember correctly.

 

If you go in under the ribs from behind and upward, with a long ice pick, it punctures the lung and makes it hard to scream.
I really hate the screaming the drama.

 

That works too, but don't plug them in though until you have them in the tree

 

Pulled onto my street and there was a falcon in the middle of the road. It's wing looked jacked up and I thought, shit, that sucks.
Rolled by real slow and it jumped over to the sidewalk. I saw that it had a good sized rat in its grip. Cool. I rolled the window down and slowly tried backing up to get a pic, but it flew off. Damn.
Woulda been a great pic as it was only 6' away. Wish I woulda thought to grab the phone as I rolled passed, instead of afterward.

 

Duh, how else would you do it?
I usually wait until Xmas Eve day.

 

The reason it's wing looked jacked up is because it was standing oddly.
Because it had its foot on top of a rat, like Capt Morgan.

 

It was either dead in the last few minutes, or doing that thing where they play dead for a minute, hoping you loosen your grip so they can bolt. But it wasn't moving.
Wish I could've seen the catch though.
We had a falcon at the school last year. It was taking out the pigeons.
It didn't stick around though. Would've been cool to see it get one. They dive at like 100 mph and then turn up at the last second and hit with their talons. It's a pigeon feather explosion.

 

https://youtu.be/ShJCBdb98a0?si=fOxhrFYwo9D7F6Sl