Tundras live: Dumb Dad Jokes, Incorrect Opinions, and Relationship Advice.

Yeah, those 4 words by themselves mean you f'ck'd something up last night; they also mean 'it's up to you now to decipher my anger'; and 'if you don't figure this shit out soon you're in for a hell of a weekend (and not in a good way)'....

 

F all that!

I turned off the "read" feature on my texts. Nobody needs to know when I read texts, including my wife

 

You working or off???

 

Time to work out, who's with me?
@GODZILLA

 

100% agree. I tell everyone "if you send it in a text that means it is as important as something you'd put in an envelope and mail with a stamp. You don't get to be mad if it takes a few days for me to respond. If it needs an immediate response you better call, and you better leave a VM if you want me to call you back."

 

I'll stay fat. Thanks.



Stuff just broke at work, so I'm chained to the desk for now.

 

Well, shiiiit.
I'm waiting for some alarms to come in, quarterly testing. I'll throw some weights around for you.

 

Is this going to be one of those 'hey, can you spot me bro??'... moments???

 

Once a week or so, I get a “I really miss you today” text. Wtf. There is no way to respond to that message. Especially when 99% of the time I’m in work mode and my first and only response is “I don’t have time for this chit”.

 

https://youtu.be/I-iNUzOSEfk

 

That's a great way to get shot. Mooning is one thing, but that is flat out ass beating territory.

 

F that, there would be severe beatings if that happened to me

 

Same here, I go into autopilot for that response.
"I miss you too babe"

 

I just love texting, Americans are so delicate that I can send one short text and they won't speak to me again.

For example, it was over a year ago that I strongly inferred to one of the people I work for that he was a c**t, while I didn't specifically aim the word towards him its usage in my text could hardly be read as anything but directed at him. He hasn't said a word to me since. Which suits me just fine because he's an asshole's asshole.

 

You ain't kiddin on that one; not sure if you're familiar w/the Atomic Sit-Up...

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=atomic+situp


Back in my earlier years, I may or may not have attended an 'after work let's have a beer on the roof session'...

One of the younger dudes thought it would be funny to pull the atomic sit up routine on the oldest guy in the group (no, not me and I was not the prankster either)... dude's nose ended up completely buried, and he was fuckin' pissed; he jumped up and his right hand went to his waistband, about 5 of us ended up grabbing him and pinning his arm down (not wanting to see where that was headed); once he calmed down enough we let him go, and he snatched the young dude up and tuned him up quite a bit... lessons learned

 

WTAF. You must all be office boys.

 

Now, yes. Prior jobs, never. Doesn't matter. Somebody sticks their ass in my face without my consent, they are getting a beating.

 

A beating? Pull that stunt in a blue collar fishing town and you'd be wearing concrete boots and swimming with the fishes.

 

So, you're saying there's a chance you'll consent

 

I must've misunderstood your office worker comment. I thought you were saying that you didn't think the ass to the face was a big deal. I'm confused. Perhaps it's the language barrier.

 

Sorry, it was the whole dropping trew thing. If you've ever had the misfortune to use a construction site portapotti you probably understand why it's not the done thing.

 

Yah nah

 

Definitely a language barrier thing. My comment was aimed squarely toward a bunch of blokes on a rooftop dropping trew with each other. Back in my day the pranks were limited to things like welders tacking each others boots to the deck, other trades shitting in the painters pots, hoisting portapottis in the air while the subject was taking a dump or sending the newbies down to the store/requisitions for a 'long weight'. Get your ass out in a shipyard and someone will tar it for you.

 

Perhaps if we came from an island nation we'd all have worked in a shipyard, but there is a vast swath of this country that is nowhere near a shipyard. Also, they are all sadly unionized shitholes, so I don't want to work in one.

I've done fast food, roofing work, retail, customer service, accounting, and driven with a CDL for a living prior to my current job in a bunker with screens. Doesn't matter which one I was in, if that was done somebody was going to the hospital.

 

Solid pranks

 

Hope you moved some heavy things back and forth for me, Zach. I've sat here and bounced through about a hundred programs and called a few on call guys to ruin their nights while you were getting paid to workout.

 

I did, thanks!