Guys I can't poo

No shit.

 

You definitely came to the right place for help

 

A bunch of shit stirrers here

 

My actual bathroom decor.

Cup o' coffee and the motivational artwork and I'm good!

 

I have been in EMS for 25 years, what do you expect?! I meant pictures of the bathroom decor, geesh!

 

The place we stayed for vacation recently had the best paper roll holder!!! No more stupid spring thingy that shoots you in the eye, or toilet while your trying to fit it, this one was hinged on one side and just swings up, slide on the roll and swing it down for the action position. I was impressed to say the least. The angle of the toilet and proximity next to the wall weren’t ideal.

 

Must be rough.

I go about 8 times a day. I’d be worried I didn’t go 3 times before breakfast.

been that way for probably 20 years. Have a good diet. Brought it up to my doctor over many years. Blood test done. Physicals done. For me, some People just regulate more than others.

 

Soooo, you came here just to rub salt in his wound?

 

I don't think rubbing salt on it will help

 

First thing in the morning before you eat, drink two large glasses of room temperature water. This will go right through your digestive tract to help out your lower intestines get some lubrication.

 

I get volcanic diarrhea when I camp. Im probably down 300 bucks worth of underwear from my enjoyment of the outdoors. Traveler’s diarrhea I guess.

 

Story of my life

 

You've seen my banner, right???

 

I ate some stuff, but it didn't push it out. Just feeling like my stomach is taller now. I've read about psyllium husks and they might not be a good idea if blocked up, gang. I usually poop every morning.

I had cucumber earlier today, but it didn't do anything inside me. It was in a sandwich. I'll try pacing outside a little.

I just remembered, I had frog coffee few days ago and that's when I started feeling a little silly inside. Wondering if I should switch to full Pete's and just scrap the frog coffee. I have like half a bag still and some ground up in the fridge.

I even tried holding helicopter which usually helps me go most of the time, but nothing this time. I'm probably fine, just little bit constipation or something

 

Maybe buy the Potty Squatty so you can get your butt hole aligned better.

 

You definitely don't want to dry that shit up by dehydrating it with salt

 

This is an everyday occurrence and yet it’s so riveting.
Trader Joes has ‘Smooth Move’ tea. I double dosed that stuff once and almost didn’t make it to the bathroom from a dead sleep.

 

McDonald’s double quarter pounder and cheese. Why do you think you see the elderly there?

 

You trying to make it come out the other way?!

 

or some Uncle Lee's if we're seriously trying to be helpful....

 

I regularly go once every couple days throughout the school year then once a day in the off-season

 

Okay gang, little update. I decided to fire up alien isolation to see maybe it'll help. Instead, my finger accidentally clicked ass creed unity. Got upset because that meant I had to watch the whole intro and then close everything.

I guess it got my bowels moving a bit, so I went to have a seat on the potty and that's when first production batch came out. The dog started barking and walked into the bathroom and started sniffing. I guess that interrupted my whole bath meditation session.

I got a good look as I was flushing and it was about 14 inches long and one piece about couple inches long. It wasn't very impressive, sort of thinner than I like to see, but I'm glad it was out.

Anyways, I'm feeling a little better. Thank you for all those medicinal recipes. I was getting ready to go to my local Walgreens if nothing came out by tomorrow.

Thank you for all your support, gang.