Outbound's 10,000th Post Fever Dream and Bullshittery Extravaganza

Speaking of which, the highs down here are only in the low 90's. But thanks to the humidity, the heat index is 110ish.

 

I always expect it to get a little hot but it's a little too early for it to be this bad.

 

Make sure you buy one of these before the invasion.

https://www.jugco.co.uk

 

Ever? You sure?
The earth has been around somewhere in the neighborhood of 4+ billion yrs.

 

I've said no such thing.

Once again, that's an eastern Canuckistani thing. They're insane out east.

 

Ever recorded. Until they find a cave where an ancient meteorologist drew a sun and stick figures melting, I'm gonna go with what todays weatherman said.

 

I might like BBQ Fritos more than Doritos

 

All Doritos or certain flavors of Doritos?

 

So you are saying you don't go to the store and pick up up 4 bladders of milk in a bag? How do you get them home?

 

"I don't bitch about the weather."

*Proceeds to bitch about the weather*

 

He's rocking pin stripes. Be careful.

 

This is emotional for me.
I like the spicy Doritos but I can't eat spicy stuff anymore cuz guts ain't working right.
I used love the ranch Doritos but don't care for em anymore. Not sure what happened.
So, I basically only eat regular now.
But I have jug of party mix right now that I'm working on and there's BBQ Fritos in there.
I might need a whole bag.

 

My eyes are blurry and I'm typing all fucked up. I'm not fixing it.

 

I have a special place in my heart for the Taco flavored Doritos because my mom used to make taco salad with them when I was growing up.

For your guts - have you tried Metamucil? That shit changed my life. Or my shit, I guess.

 

For the love of everything, don't rub them with your BBQ Frito fingers! You may go blind!!!

 

I'm sure more fiber and healthier food would help, but I think something else it going on.
They were gonna shove a camera up my ass and down my gullet, but at the last minute decided I should get my heart checked before getting put under.
When I get a minute I'll schedule it.
Thinking about getting a new job, so I'll take a few weeks off, rest and go see a few docs.

 

I was thinking about a brain transplant too

 

This is how our milk comes

 

I can't figure out why in the holy fuck people would drink another species' breast milk.
That shit is for baby cows, not humans.
Being lactose intolerant is actually normal.
You people need help.

 

Yeah, while they're up there they might as well.

 

Who's Beatrice?

 

Yeah but it's different when I do it. Everyone else is an idiot.

 

Whelp. This is a new one. Just got a "High Winds Imminent" alert. 65mph + winds expected. I hope I don't land in Alabama.

 

I

 

won't

 

be

 

around