Outbound's 10,000th Post Fever Dream and Bullshittery Extravaganza

Buttplug everything!

'so thats where you keep your spare 10mm socket?'

 

Unless I can print expensive leather shoes like Birkenstocks, she ain't gonna bite.

By the way, Birkenstock makes socks and they don't call them "Birkensocks." It seems like a missed opportunity.

 

Ok, last try before we use the nuclear option. Tell her that if she doesn't let you get the 3D printer, I won't bring her any Canadian maple syrup when I come visit.

 

She doesn't like maple syrup. She does like chocolate though. Do they make chocolate printers?

 

Before you ask, I don't know why she doesn't like maple syrup. She was probably attacked by a wayward stack of pancakes in her formative years... I'm kinda afraid to ask.

 

If she lets you buy a 3D printer, I'll bring her some Purdy's chocolates.

 

She said that's a nice start but wants the chocolates up front.

 

So she does she eat pancakes with honey?

 

Like.....like a chocolate sex toy?

 

Good point. Tell her you need one to not print sex toys.

 

It's news to me that she doesn't eat maple syrup. I guess I'm too busy stuffing my face to pay attention to what she's eating. I just asked. She likes the fake syrup, not the real stuff.

 

Nuh uh. I've been bitten by that deal in the past.

Nuclear option it is.

Tell her you get the 3D printer or buy a flamethrower. This tactic works for both @War Machine and myself.

 

It'd be a good way to test it to see if I could print a vent register out of it.

 

You'd need a beer fridge big enough to set the printer in while its printing chocolate.

 

I agree with her. But the fake stuff is what I was raised on. The real maple syrup tastes different. Either or is fine, but given the choice, I'll pick aunt jemima

 

I think she just left the room to pull the fiber router out of the wall.

 

Yeah, I prefer the real stuff but Mrs. Butterworths works in a pinch.

 

Pfft. Rookie move, as if I hadn't forseen that. Switch to your phone and let's continue the negotiations.

 

Oh shit. I think she's building a faraday cage...

 

Try Zoro.com

 

That's fine. Switch to morse code. Now, about that flamethrower. I recommend the extended range option.

 

The only thing he'll be printing w/the damn thing is a set of toes

 

He should have used all caps

 

We already covered the sex toy potential.

 

*molds for silicon toes.

 

@TaquitoBandito

..or what about Karo syrup???

 

Thanks. No luck. It's all 8x10 or 4x6 for plastic. The only 8x6 is in metal.

 

I'm at the neighbors ordering one right now.

 

See? That wasn't too hard. Btw, you need to let me play with your new flamethrower. I haven't bought one yet. The Woman always gives in and lets me buy the other thing, whatever it is.

 

Hungry Jack butter flavor or Mrs. Butterworths.