Goodbye Tundra

@soobaroo enjoy the new lease on life and your truck, God is not finished with your story yet. Life struggles come and go, but tomorrow does come just need to give it time. Happy Easter my friend, you are loved!

- Josh


@ColoradoTJ do the mods have contact information? Just to check in on him.

 

Hang in there OP. You got this. Be safe. Be happy. Drive and enjoy that new truck!

 

Op, sorry to hear things are tough. It is easy to forget what an incredible gift life is when it seems to be falling apart or turning to shit. You're speaking up about how hard it is, which to me is a good thing. Just know you are not alone in the pain despite how lonely it may feel. It is an unfortunate part of the ride that everyone struggles, has struggled, or will struggle. The hardest part is pushing through and finding a way to carry on. One moment, breath, day, week, etc at a time. Personally, when I woke up to a nightmare every morning I thought it would never improve. It did. Pain never went away, but it changed (or it changed me). You've got this. Even if you can't see through it yet, eventually you will.

Good luck.

 

@soobaroo, there is ALWAYS a purpose in living. It's just that sometimes the down times blind you to it. That doesn't mean it's not there. You don't know me from Adam, Steve, Joe, or anybody else. But I am available if you want to vent, talk, express your anger or any other feelings, etc. I'll PM you my number.

 

I quit drinking 30 years ago and it’s been real easy until now but I’m not going down that road

 

I’m ok today. Went to work and had time to think. Too much time since I was driving

 

Thanks. I’m going to get some counseling

 

Sometimes everyone needs some one just to listen, and not cast judgement.

 

Happy to hear that bud. I hope you'll drop in on us more often.

 

I stopped by to see a picture of your new truck.

After I left the Army, I was managing a deli. I got a pretty nice check from the VA for the Army making me sick and I decided I'd trade in my 3 year old, 4-door Saturn for an Xterra. I almost had the Saturn paid off and it only had 9000 miles on it. It was in perfect condition but I wanted something nicer and bigger (I was tired of getting run off the road in Austin by bigger vehicles). I traded it in for this really cool, brand new 2001 Xterra SE and they put a cattle guard on it. I was so proud of it.

Next day at work, the catering manager comes up to me and asks me how much I paid for it. I told her and she says "You paid too much. My brother-in-law could have gotten you a better deal." My mood immediately sank. Did I make a mistake? But then I was like "Fuck her!" What was the point in telling me that after the fact besides just wanting to ruin my purchase?

Anyways, I enjoyed the hell out of that Xterra. It was fun to drive and it was nicer than my Saturn.

So, what I'm saying is, you did what was right for you and I'm extremely happy for you. Don't let anybody tell you what you should have done because as long as you are happy with it then be happy with it. Tell the nosy ass catering managers of the world to fuck off.

However, the people on this forum are some of the greatest, nicest, people I've ever had to pleasure to virtually know. We like to rib and sometimes we accidentally shiv - but in the end, there are some really caring and cool people on here. I hope you stay a member of the forum and I hope you are able to use it to find some peace and happiness.

I seem to constantly go through a "Life's a Bitch and then I Thrive" cycle. I feel like you are going through one right now. I'm sorry for what you are going through but stay strong and feel free to reach out personally if you would like.

Also, post a damn picture of your truck already. It's good to see how the other half is living.

 

100% agree with this. As many others have said, there's ALWAYS something to live for; and you do what makes YOU happy and helps YOU heal, regardless of what the hell others think. Past that, @soobaroo, always reach out if you need someone to talk to.

 

As I'm reading your post, all I could think of was my dad (he was a car salesman for a while). I swear they could have paid me to take a car and he still would have said "You paid too much"

 

Many of us have been where you are now. It seems like it's the end of the world, but believe me, it isn't. You take it day by day and in time, things will get better. Keep yourself busy and find fun things to do. When I went through it, it was tough. So many thoughts go through your mind and the hurt is real. But in time, things will work out and you will realize how good things can be. Find old friends, new friends, a charity to donate time to such as Habitat for Humanity, get involved in church, whatever it takes to keep you busy and help you realize there are plenty of things that make life what life is. Good luck and keep your head up, it will get better. Just breathe.

 

Hang in there sir.

It is darkest before dawn. You will get through this.

 

If you don't have a dog might be a good time to get one. I have a GWP and he keeps me really busy and loves to do just about everything. Some good rescue dogs out there that need homes.

 

One of the many things I like about this forum is we all seem to be like brothers and a few sisters. We joke & pick on each other but when it comes to needing help, any help the line to jump in and assist gets real long, real fast.

I'm sure many of us, myself included feel like jerks because of the comments we made now that we know the rest of the story. All that said, we as a group are here for you or anyone that needs a boost. Hang in there mate.

 

So relieved to see that your posts today! The group of people on this forum really is the best will always be here to listen. Glad to hear you will get some counseling. Best wishes for better days ahead.

 

Glad to hear this! I gave counseling a shot after my last relationship. I ended up staying with it for 14 months. The key here is to find a counselor that you like and enjoy talking to. If the first wasn’t isn’t a good fit try the next until you find the right one for you.

 

I am glad to hear this news. We all need help at times. I have been on the receiving end of counseling, and it benefitted me greatly.

Fingers crossed for you.

 

I have an American Water Spaniel who does well on ruffed grouse. Tough birds for both dog and hunter

 

Congrats on the new truck. My work truck is a 2019 Ram and have almost 60K 100% trouble free miles on it. Best riding, driving, and interior layout and quality on the road. Incredible trucks.

Also am divorced for 14 years now. Was awful at first, but got better and better with time. Been remarried for 3.5 years now, and have never been happier. Keep up the good fight, focus on self improvement, and you aren’t alone.

 

After being married for 33 years I’m pretty terrified of being alone. Coming home to an empty house doesn’t sound nice. I suppose I could rent out a room but it would have to be the right person, preferably someone I know

 

Baby steps - you'll get through this. You have a whole community here cheering for you.

 

It'll be a transition, but having your pup will certainly help. Be honest with some of your close friends about it, and I bet you can work out some way to have company over for the transition. I 100% would show up at my buddy's place to keep him company if he were in your situation. It's what friends are for.

 

Happy to hear you are getting counseling. There are a lot of good women out there. You can find one and not live alone. Probably wise to give it some time first.

 

You won't be alone here. You have a nice loyal companion who asks for nothing. I myself love grouse hunting. No dog though. You are blessed in that regard. Never too late to start a new chapter with your life. Won't be easy but you have us too....

 

I'm not going to fluff it over and say it isn't tough going because it is, but what might seem like an interminably long time in reality wasn't. I was married for 20 years and blissfully unaware of any issues when I got my marching orders. Met a lovely American lady after three years of homelessness and blowing the pittance I got from the house sale. In retrospect, I'd say cherish those times alone, after 30 years of busting my balls working for everyone elses benefit it was quite therapeutic having that time to myself - not that I saw it that way at the time.
When I did get an apartment I made sure not to have a TV, expanded my library, got a decent music system and finally invested in some half decent cookware, whatever you do to your place it's your bolthole, make the most of it.
It might not happen immediately but things will happen for the good when you are comfortable with yourself. Keep posting here, mebbe we'll get you back in a Tundra one day.

 

@soobaroo
I hope you find some clarity & focus behind the wheel of your new truck!
I call it ‘windshield time’ and make and model is irrelevant!
Wishing you the best

 

Consider having a routine when you arrive home. Turn on some music, take the dog for a walk or designated play time. Find a show or sports game you can tune in to. Try to keep yourself busy. If you find yourself struggling try asking yourself “what do I need right now?” the answers could surprise you.