How angry can you make yourself?

Today I was hooking up a trailer to my beautiful 21’. As I reached down to latch the hitch, a friendly copperhead decided to swipe at me from beneath the tongue where she was resting. I sh@#t my pants a little as she danced away. Backed in the driveway to load a golf cart on the trailer. As soon as the cart hit the ramp, Bada-boom trailer flew right up the center of the tailgate, gouging the whole way until it destroyed the latch assembly with the camera and became lodged. Guess who forgot to latch the trailer after hissy McFangs slithered away, that’s right, this ass-clown. I mean…shit really?

 

Are you in Texas?

I am so sorry. That would have distracted anyone.

Please add the ending (even if it is pure fiction) that you fed the damn snake to a running lawn mower.

 

Could always be worse too! Everyone has problems.

 

My dear lord….

 

I'm beyond angry with myself right now because I may have just become a 4th example of @ColoradoTJ 's poop collection. I can't stop laughing.

 

WTF.... That's awesome!

 

FL. Not my job to kill her, she was doing nothing wrong. I am no hippy, but every creature has a place, not going to take a life because she made me poo a little (lot).

 

You want a picture of my mangled tailgate or a picture of my stained boxers? Either way, I'm going to get baned because they are both horribly offensive!!

 

Definitely the tailgate; I thought you were joking and being dramatic when you said you shit your pants...

 

Yeah, there was no poop involved because I puckered up so hard nothing was coming out! She missed me only because the chain was between us. She actually hit it coming at me.

 

At least it wasn't a water moccasin; Those are nasty bastards!

 

Back in 2009, we went to Hawaii for my cousin's wedding; My dad found a giant centipede or something in the bathroom and ended up flushing it down the toilet...

 

I grew up in Texas. We had cotton mouths and copper heads in Houston, and rattlesnakes galore in Midland.

Dangerous legless rats all.

 

Oh I agree, but every once in a while I let my guard down. She was curled up under the spare, never crossed my mind to look. Expensive lesson learned.

 

Hey man stop scaring the snakes.

Sorry about your rear ends

 

And yet “went off without a hitch” is supposed to be a positive thing. Sure doesn’t apply to trailers. Or weddings in most cases, I suppose.

And @ColoradoTJ I don’t even want to know what your search history contains to have found those.

 

And people ask me why i live where the air hurts my face. At least here, we don't have danger noodles hiding under our trucks.

 

OP, I'm sorry about your tail gate, but I do applaud your storytelling. Made me chuckle. I also approve of the mercy for the snek.

 

Fortunately (hopefully) that is a once in a lifetime event. Chalk it up to the "shit happens" category.

 

I was very distracted once while shooting m 50 cal muzzle loader. Really didn’t want to go but my buddy dragged me along. Anyway, I fire a few shots, get the nice big gun powder cloud, etc. load up another and pulled the trigger and heard a thoomp and not big cloud. I thought….that was odd. Then my buddy says, did you just shoot your ram rod down the range? Well yes I did. Solid copper slug welded itself inside the barrel and the barrel bulged but did not open up. Ruined the gun but I was sooo fortunate that I still had all my fingers and eyes!!!!

 

You'd like Wyoming. The only venomous danger noodles we have are the ones that are super polite and wiggle their maracas before getting testy. Very courteous.

 

They don't usually sneak up on a guy though and they're generally predictable.