Tundra Transmission Woes

Have a 2013 Tundra Platinum 4x2 with 70k miles in Orlando, FL. Begin having transmission issues with hard shifting, extended gear shifting, and when going in reverse it feels like the rear end and/or tranny gears slip a bit when I have to apply a little throttle than catch up before moving? Took it to 3 Toyota dealers in my area; 1 said it was low in fluid which charged me a ton to add 1 quart of fluid, the second said entire carrier assembly and drive shaft needed to be replaced had that repair done, and since I still had the same problem took it to a 3rd dealer who now says tranny is bad by seeing some small metal flakes in fluid. After reading several forums including this one symptoms in my mind may in fact be electronic but not sure. Reasons I feel that way is when I accelerate from a complete stop, at times will get traction light and of course it will pull all torque from the engine but no wheel spin of course?
If anyone out there has had these issues PLEASE ADVISE before I waste any more money? Also if Anyone had to replace tranny, did you purchase used, best place to purchase, knowledge of shops other than dealers in my area, and best way to diagnose and proceed?
THANKS TO ALL IN ADVANCE!

 

Any CEL or pending CEL? If you don't have a cheap reader, go to autozone, they'll read for free.

 

Truck at dealer at this point. Not sure what CEL's are but if you are referring to electronic codes, no the dealer didn't perform Any electronic checks which bothers me considering they are charging a mint for only a diagnostic of the issue. Waiting on callback from dealer service manager to let him know I would like them to perform an electronics check with documentation rather than just saying "you got metal flakes in the tranny fluid" from which I can take that and make an informed decision on how best to proceed? Have you encountered similar issues if so and can you offer any information to assist me moving forward?

Thanks!

 

Sorry to hear about your issues.

Any independent shops specializing in Toyota around your way?

 

Any transmission service history? Do you tow? Does truck have tow package?

You might want to consider a well-recommended transmission shop. There's a reason Toyota won't let dealer techs make any transmission repairs. They will replace your transmission, but pretty sure they won't make any repairs to it.

 

I would get a second opinion from an good local independent transmission shop. On something like a possible transmission replacement I would not rely on one opinion.

 

CEL = Check Engine Light
MIL = Malfunction Indicator Light