Losing a little something...

Normally, I just share with the Gen 1 guys and @Sunnier (not a guy, but better than most anyone) because we talk a lot, and I know them. In this case, i just needed to write and it's nothing to do with Tundra Gens, just community. I have the best and some of the longest friendships one can hope for. I was driving today and realized I've spent more wanted time with my son than all of my best friends combined for years now. And, he's going to college in August. 2500 miles away. To an island.

It will likely prove to be the best first step in his adult life. It has everything he wants and loves. It sucks for me. I was hoping for a University I could drive to at a moments notice. He hasn't left and I already miss him.

I'm sure some of you can relate. Yea and fuck at the same time.

 

In the habit of texting him memes? My dad hasnt figured out memes yet, but i like that he's started texting me. Neither of us are phone talkers, so phone calls are always short and to the point.

 

We have that, he texts me a lot, or shares links he finds on IG. These kids today are very social media and fortunately, I know how to keep up.

 

Hawaii?

 

My brother went to med school in the Caribbean for a few years which was rough on my folks. Think of it as an excuse to go to the island a few times to take him some stuff since shipping will cost you alot. I suggest flying with him in the beginning to help him get settled. It'll be worth it for both of you.

 

You are Very Blessed to be that close through all these years! Not true for so many others. What a cool thing that he’s got such a good foundation— can do healthy relationships *and* gets to study somewhere where even the surroundings may spark his imagination!

Good on you for remembering that your experience in this, and his, are different. I hope I do as well when it’s my time to let go. Sounds like you’re doing it right, Dad.

(Let me know when you’re ready for us to jump in with silver linings on your side of the equation.)

 

I can't relate as my son is only 3 but man I can imagine....

 

Been through this twice already, kids heading off to college. It’s rough. You definitely get the “wasted so much time” feels and the regrets. Don’t fall in that hole. It is hard to be so happy and proud for a child and so sad and disappointed in ourselves and for ourselves for what feels like “losing” them. My kids both chose in state schools and are within a couple hours drive away. We rarely make that drive. They feel close, even though we don’t see them much. If you’re able to go and visit, I would plan to do so. If you have time before he leaves, plan some experiences to do together. Maybe one you think we be great for the two of you, and one he chooses. And of course as much family time as you can muster. If he’s heading off to school, you’ve done a great job so far, be proud of him and of yourselves. They are supposed to grow up and fly out of the nest eventually. Just hard to let go.

 

I think you are right. No way he's going alone. That happened to me in college, it wasn't intentional and my mom regrets it to this day. Auto was me and my wife - she said daughter will be, what? I said no, daughter is coming too. This will be hard on her as well.

 

Yes. Perfect for him.

 

Thank you @Sunnier , I'm so blessed it hurts because his leaving is brutal. It's going to be the same with my daughter, so there it is. At least I know what to do, I won't be doing it with much grace. But, I am excited for him.

 

Thank you @KNABORES. I booked 6 different flights for logistics, I need to book 6 more for me and the girls. Prices are about to go up, I'll do it now.

 

uhhhhggg. My time is coming soon for the same experience and I'm not looking forward to it. I feel for ya.....

 

I guess it's the deal. Love them and enjoy them, at some point they have to go do their thing. The pain in the ass running them around when they can't do it themself turns out to be a blessing.

 

I'm beginning to relate...son is 13 and he's starting to 'pull away' if you know what I mean. I fully realize that it does NOT mean he doesn't love us - just like when I started to grow up, I didn't suddenly hate my parents - I was just becoming my own man. But yeah, the subjective part of you feels like in a very short time he's going from fully depending on you to....not. :/

With that being said, having lost my dad to brain/stomach/lung cancer 3 years ago (agent orange exposure in Vietnam), I would give ANYTHING for one more day with him. If you're doing the best you can, ensuring he knows you love him and have his back, you're doing it right, and he knows and will know it.

 

This hits home. The good friends that I have have all moved within the last 3 years. I have 2 summers left with my son before he leaves and am already dealing with the emotions. It is incredible watching him grow into a young man. He is responsible, smart, kind and driven. I am with him and already miss him.

 

Dammit, stop cutting onions in here....

 

You aren't just gonna miss him, you're gonna be jealous and start despising him when he's sending you pics of him surfing, cruising the shore on a scooter with a cute lil Hawaiian girl, eating fresh fruit and good coffee every morning.

Just kidding, maybe. He won't be gone forever, he's just on an adventure. I agree with getting flights now for the future before the prices go insane. Last year we were hitting round trips for $200, not sure if that is still possible.

If you have other kids, invest the time with them to help fill the space.

 

Man, you guys are caring parents. im pretty sure there was a party (not for me) when I left.

 

I cant imagine how this will feel. My daughter is 3 and my son is 2, I am already dreading that first day of kindergarten.

Maybe when they turn 18 and become A holes it would be easier lol

 

Yea, I have to read responses and "like" - gets hard to comment.

 

Got off the red eye a few hours ago, without the boy. Immediately shipped him a few things he can use. The suck is on for me, but I think he is pretty pumped. Has a roommate that surfs and seems fairly squared away. I'll go back in 3 weeks to make sure everything is OK, lol.

 

Good work, Dad and Mom!

 

Well, as much as I loved my Dad, I WILL say he often told me "When you graduate high school, your graduation gift will be a set of luggage...I expect you to use it right away."

 

Sometimes when a child moves out, it’s a relief for the parents. Sometimes it’s cruel and heart breaking and way too soon. Depends on the parent and the kid. Both of ours were tough for me, but I was proud of what they accomplished to setup the opportunity they were taking. Still leaves an empty void at home where a family member has always been. Gotta let em fly though. That’s the whole point, raise them
To be successful so that they can leave and become their own person. I told my kids the plan shouldn't be to live in my basement at 30 years old. Cause we ain’t got a basement.

 

I know it's different for every family and individual. And, there are a lot of similar experiences. When I left for college, I loaded my truck and drove there myself. It wasn't a thing. I wasn't going very far, and didn't think anything of it at the time. Time to go, bud.
I have a different relationship with my son than my parents. Still, time to go, bud; but wow, it's an entirely different experience on this end as an adult and with a different relationship. But yes, go fly, and even crash some times. This kid will be just fine. Mom and dad will feel it for a while.