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I might be a Jerk...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by landphil, Dec 30, 2018.

  1. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:22 PM
    #1
    landphil

    landphil [OP] Fish are food, not friends!

    Joined:
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    First Name:
    Phil
    BC, Canada
    Vehicle:
    ‘08 TRD doublecab
    I bought my wife a “get better soon” card. She’s not sick or anything. :spy:
     
    stewtopia, jewsNbrews, Sas and 21 others like this.
  2. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:29 PM
    #2
    Vizsla

    Vizsla ☠️☠️☠️

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  3. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:30 PM
    #3
    landphil

    landphil [OP] Fish are food, not friends!

    Joined:
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    Phil
    BC, Canada
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    ‘08 TRD doublecab
    No, not a jerk? :rofl:
     
  4. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:31 PM
    #4
    Vizsla

    Vizsla ☠️☠️☠️

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    No, maybe bad idea...:D
     
  5. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:31 PM
    #5
    DJFaninTN

    DJFaninTN New Member

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    Panama City Beach, FL
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    2018 Super White 1794
    did she ask you if she looked fat in a certain dress?
     
  6. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:32 PM
    #6
    Grumpy Uncle

    Grumpy Uncle Pushing string down the hall SSEM #10

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    Pat
    CO
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    4:88s and Auburn LSD, dealership faux Pro, 35" BFGs on XD wheels, OME Lift with Dakars
    Are you sleeping on the couch? Its the thought that counts.
     
  7. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:33 PM
    #7
    War Machine

    War Machine SSEM # 5 3MW

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    Jason
    Texas
    War Machine approves.


    936CD89D-F0A8-44B1-A618-9B5FF6E2F3DF.jpg
     
  8. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:35 PM
    #8
    csuviper

    csuviper Moderator Staff Member

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    2019 TRD Sport CM 5.7L 4X4
    Some Mods :) See build thread for details
  9. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:37 PM
    #9
    TokerJoker

    TokerJoker ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    Joined:
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    Travis
    Nowhere, Specific
    Vehicle:
    2014 Black SR5 4.6 Dbl Cab
    None.....yet
    Always good to be proactive!
     
  10. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:40 PM
    #10
    landphil

    landphil [OP] Fish are food, not friends!

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Phil
    BC, Canada
    Vehicle:
    ‘08 TRD doublecab
    I thought about getting her a Christmas present, but that didn’t count. So what gives?
     
  11. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:45 PM
    #11
    Grumpy Uncle

    Grumpy Uncle Pushing string down the hall SSEM #10

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    Pat
    CO
    Vehicle:
    2016 Black CM Tundra TRD Off Road
    4:88s and Auburn LSD, dealership faux Pro, 35" BFGs on XD wheels, OME Lift with Dakars
    Damned if you do and damned if you dont!
     
  12. Dec 30, 2018 at 8:59 PM
    #12
    Pat

    Pat Sorta-new Member

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    Pat
    Virginia Beach
    Vehicle:
    '16 MGM SR5 DC
    CAI, 5100's
    Well, there are WORSE things you could have gotten her.
     
  13. Dec 31, 2018 at 1:39 AM
    #13
    CMB

    CMB New Member

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    Male
    Cecil County MD.
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tundra DC 4X4 SR5
    Not nearly enough room here!
    Be expecting your, "Sorry For Your Loss" card pretty soon! :D
     
  14. Dec 31, 2018 at 2:09 AM
    #14
    Larmand

    Larmand SSEM #6

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    Lucas
    Fort Worth, TX
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    2018 SLIGHTLY MODIFIED SR5 TRD CM 4x4-CEMENT
    Its better than a "CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby" card
     
  15. Dec 31, 2018 at 5:11 AM
    #15
    Outbound

    Outbound SSEM #2.5, Token AmeriCanadian

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    First Name:
    Aaron
    Northern Alberta
    Vehicle:
    2022 CrewMax TRD Off Road, MGM of course.
    The Woman was trying on clothes the other day. She didnt like any of them and kept complaining that she had gained a few pounds, had some grey hairs and the odd wrinkle was showing up. She asked me to tell her something nice to cheer her up.

    "You eyesight is damn near perfect" I said.


    That's when the fight started...
     
  16. Dec 31, 2018 at 5:40 AM
    #16
    Notachickmagnet

    Notachickmagnet New Member

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    You all are rotten :rofl:
     
  17. Dec 31, 2018 at 5:54 AM
    #17
    War Machine

    War Machine SSEM # 5 3MW

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    Jason
    Texas
    A man comes home and sees his wife standing naked by the door.

    "What are you doing?" he asked.

    "This is my love dress," she replied.

    Husband: "Needs ironing!"
     
  18. Dec 31, 2018 at 6:32 AM
    #18
    Law323

    Law323 it’s only weird if you make it weird

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    Law
    Baton Rouge, La
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    2012 4.6 L MGM DC
    Toytec BOSS suspension lift @ 3" (front) Toytec BOSS remote resi's (back) 1" Toytec block (rear) 275/70r18 Toyo AT2 Info system mod 3D MAXpider Kagu floor mats LED interior lights 50% ceramic tint front windows 35% ceramic tint windshield brow Bed mounted YETI bottle opener Paracord wrapped oh Sh!t bars 3" stubby antennae TRD sway bar Upcoming: LED backup lights OEM Backup camera Iron Cross Patriot step bars Trifold or roll up tonneau cover
    You got a set on you LOL
     
  19. Dec 31, 2018 at 6:51 AM
    #19
    1UPPER

    1UPPER Not A New Member

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    TEXAS
    Flux capacitor!
  20. Dec 31, 2018 at 6:57 AM
    #20
    Sunnier

    Sunnier Pity the warrior that slays all his foes

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    Sunny
    San Diego, CA
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    2017 Inferno Tundra DC TRD & Longtravel 1st Gen, Banner/ HulkSmash build
    Alright, @Alfalfa, it's time to edit the title of this thread to The He-Man Women Haters' Club.
     
  21. Dec 31, 2018 at 6:59 AM
    #21
    War Machine

    War Machine SSEM # 5 3MW

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    Jason
    Texas
    Hey, it happens to all of us.

    A while back my wife said “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

    I told her “I can’t do both”.
     
  22. Dec 31, 2018 at 7:00 AM
    #22
    Outbound

    Outbound SSEM #2.5, Token AmeriCanadian

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    Aaron
    Northern Alberta
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    Yep. Last time The Woman was feeling frisky I asked if she wanted a quickie or the full 2 minutes.
     
  23. Dec 31, 2018 at 7:03 AM
    #23
    Sunnier

    Sunnier Pity the warrior that slays all his foes

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    Sunny
    San Diego, CA
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    :rofl:
     
    jewsNbrews and Notachickmagnet like this.
  24. Dec 31, 2018 at 7:15 AM
    #24
    FoghornTX

    FoghornTX Proud American and Infidel since 1968

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    Ft Worth, Texas
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    Reuters (British Columbia) - A man only identified only as Phil has been found murdered by his wife. Authorities are unclear about motive but they said that the victim had been run over multiple times by his own vehicle. Neighbors said that just prior to the murder that they could hear a loud demonic voice coming from the home. The voice stated, "I'm gonna show you get better soon" and "I'm gonna shove this hockey stick up your ass and you'll be the only human popsicle on Earth." Authorities have still not entered the home to question the wife and have advised everyone to "leave that woman alone."
     
  25. Dec 31, 2018 at 8:17 AM
    #25
    Outbound

    Outbound SSEM #2.5, Token AmeriCanadian

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    Aaron
    Northern Alberta
    Vehicle:
    2022 CrewMax TRD Off Road, MGM of course.
    A police chief was called to a scene of a stand off. A woman had murdered her husband and the attending officer was waiting at the front door. The chief asked what was going on.

    "She murdered her husband for walking on the wet floor after she cleaned it."

    "Well, why haven't you gone in and arrested her!?"

    "Sir...the floor isn't dry yet."
     
  26. Dec 31, 2018 at 9:09 AM
    #26
    landphil

    landphil [OP] Fish are food, not friends!

    Joined:
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    #4814
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Phil
    BC, Canada
    Vehicle:
    ‘08 TRD doublecab
    Negative. Don’t want a simple joke turning into that.
     
    jewsNbrews and Notachickmagnet like this.
  27. Dec 31, 2018 at 10:28 AM
    #27
    CMB

    CMB New Member

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    1,117
    Gender:
    Male
    Cecil County MD.
    Vehicle:
    2010 Tundra DC 4X4 SR5
    Not nearly enough room here!
    Roger That. "Female" has always been my favorite flavor!:thumbsup:
     
  28. Dec 31, 2018 at 12:15 PM
    #28
    Law323

    Law323 it’s only weird if you make it weird

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2016
    Member:
    #3081
    Messages:
    9,842
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Law
    Baton Rouge, La
    Vehicle:
    2012 4.6 L MGM DC
    Toytec BOSS suspension lift @ 3" (front) Toytec BOSS remote resi's (back) 1" Toytec block (rear) 275/70r18 Toyo AT2 Info system mod 3D MAXpider Kagu floor mats LED interior lights 50% ceramic tint front windows 35% ceramic tint windshield brow Bed mounted YETI bottle opener Paracord wrapped oh Sh!t bars 3" stubby antennae TRD sway bar Upcoming: LED backup lights OEM Backup camera Iron Cross Patriot step bars Trifold or roll up tonneau cover
    A man driving down the road with his wife gets pulled over

    Cop “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?”
    Man “no, is everything okay?”
    Cop “you were speeding, I clocked you at 70 in a 50”
    Man “oh I’m sorry sir, my speedometer must be broken”
    Wife “I told him he was going too fast”
    Man looks at his wife and says “honey, shut up, I’m handling this!”

    Cop says “you also have a broken taillight”
    Man “oh really? I didn’t realize...I’ll go get a bulb today”
    Wife “I told him about that two weeks ago”
    Man looks at his wife again and says “Dammit, would you shut up??”

    Cop says “your inspection sticker is also out of date”
    Man “I’m sorry sir, I’ve been working 15 hour days seven days a week, I haven’t had time”
    Wife “you just started back working after a two week cycle”
    Man “BITCH SHUT UP!!”

    Cop looks at the wife and asks “does he always talk to you like that?”
    Wife “only when he’s been drinking”
     
    Sunnier, Sas, jewsNbrews and 2 others like this.
  29. Dec 31, 2018 at 12:28 PM
    #29
    Randy Morton

    Randy Morton Life takes its toll, please have exact change.

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    Randy
    Deepinahearta, Texas
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    2012 Tundra Double Cab, Beta Variant (I call it my Land Yacht)
  30. Dec 31, 2018 at 12:30 PM
    #30
    Notachickmagnet

    Notachickmagnet New Member

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    jewsNbrews likes this.

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