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Your Opinion Please

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Nowhereman, Aug 22, 2021.

  1. Aug 23, 2021 at 5:01 PM
    #61
    careyrob

    careyrob In the field

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    You've got all of his track dates now. Just schedule some road trips and home improvement projects so the truck is not reliably available.

    Let him miss a few track days because your truck is tied-up and he'll start solving his own problem.
     
    GODZILLA and Jernik like this.
  2. Aug 23, 2021 at 5:07 PM
    #62
    TRDFerguson

    TRDFerguson SSEM #99/RGBA #8-ish?/It’s a funny name.

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    I mean, if your opinion was just in regards to OP’s question, sure. But you only come here to read about Tundras, not sure why you’re engaging with internet trolls that give an opinion on your opinion…
     
  3. Aug 23, 2021 at 6:31 PM
    #63
    crewmaxlmt

    crewmaxlmt How dare you!

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    Besides, who would want the Ducati to slip while securing it. Not me.
     
  4. Aug 23, 2021 at 6:33 PM
    #64
    Kfrog

    Kfrog New Member

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    If you think she will forget this and what was said about loan of truck, it ain't gonna happen. Every time a disagreement comes up, guess what, yeah all comes back to haunt you. I solved my issue with this, got a divorce and yes, happened a second time same thing. Its a woman thing and don't ever go away.
     
  5. Aug 23, 2021 at 6:53 PM
    #65
    THOR's

    THOR's New Member

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    This is what’s called taking advantage of your generosity. Plain and simple… momma bear needs to get over it and have the son pay his own way. :thumbsup:
     
  6. Aug 23, 2021 at 6:54 PM
    #66
    diablodalton

    diablodalton New Member

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    Clearly his Dad isn’t a Marine. I only say that because I would have giggled each time my kid asked me for any of that especially a Tesla truck… not because it’s bad but the costs and special attention that would require.
    “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions”
    Stick to your guns and give your wife a hug and tell her you love her.
    As far as your Son is concerned, tell him you love him and borrow his truck as often as you can!

    BTW, my Son is pretty well protected by Mama Bear but my daughter is a Marine. Go figure!
     
    toyofan87 likes this.
  7. Aug 23, 2021 at 6:59 PM
    #67
    831Tun

    831Tun heartless Bastrd

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    Nahh, the road to hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs- Hemmingway
     
  8. Aug 23, 2021 at 7:12 PM
    #68
    LuvCRVs

    LuvCRVs New Member

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    Well the OP did mention a Tundra somewhat early. Had no idea where the story was leading. Was hoping for more Tundra. And once I read the entire thing to find out..well, I had invested that time, so offering an opinion just followed. As for engaging trolls...just for entertainment purposes only. Not trying to change anyones mind or change the world. Wouldn't want to. Maybe there should be a folder something like "Dr Phil Please Help" for those who really don't want to post about Tundras on a Tundra forum. Could be quite popular for those who consider this their primary social media outlet. I use to visit a golf forum that back in the day was really about all things golf. Over time as most got bored with golf or stopped playing (mostly old guys), it turned into a political forum. It was horrible. Split into two...so instead of one turd there were now two turds...but the post increased as the forums kept bashing each other initially. Now they are both a ghost town. It was inevitable I guess.
     
  9. Aug 23, 2021 at 9:01 PM
    #69
    landphil

    landphil Fish are food, not friends!

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    Sounds like a non-issue now, at least to me. :confused: :notsure: But maybe I’m getting use to having the Mrs. mad at me.

    If you worded the offer of the use of the truck to your sons the way you wrote it here, that is a far cry from booking multiple recreational road trips 6 months in advance.
     
    Cpl_Punishment and 1lowlife like this.
  10. Aug 23, 2021 at 10:57 PM
    #70
    blackdemon_tt

    blackdemon_tt Battery Slayer

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    Its a pickle... but my mom has always said there are 2 things you don't lend out.. your horse or your lady......
     
  11. Aug 23, 2021 at 11:13 PM
    #71
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

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    Son should have kept his GMC truck to fit his lifestyle..
    It isn't up to Dad to cater his scooter around after making a poor decision...

    Tough love...
    Sell the bike, enjoy the Tesla...

    As others stated, seems this kid has been pampered for too much of his life.
    Do whatever you want, Mommy and Daddy will bail you out.

    Seems he is ill prepared, or just liberally oblivious, to the life choices he has made.
    Got a bike to go to out of town meets?
    Have your own way to haul it, or rent a truck to do it.
    If he can afford movers into his new home, he can afford to rent something to haul his scooter for his multi day annual racing schedule.

    I got off Mom's tit in my teens, never asked the parents for anything since..
    They'd be happy to help, but I wouldn't ask them too.

    Time to put a foot in his ass...

    You asked for opinions...:eek2::thumbsup:
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2021
  12. Aug 24, 2021 at 4:53 AM
    #72
    Kung

    Kung Dead sexy

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    Nope.

    To boil it down:

    - Son made a mistake or two getting rid of his truck
    - Son then got butthurt because the truck YOU bought to help the entire family....wasn't available to him on all the dates he wanted it for

    I may be out of line in saying this, but to me, the bigger issue is the fact that your wife is upset with YOU and not your son. Why the hell isn't she upset with her kid, telling him to pack sand?
     
  13. Aug 24, 2021 at 5:01 AM
    #73
    hagrid

    hagrid The most diverse of Diversity Hires!

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    paynuss stretchers
    Must....... resist....... legendary opportunity........

    :D
     
  14. Aug 24, 2021 at 5:21 AM
    #74
    toyofan87

    toyofan87 Beer thirty

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    Any updates with Op?
    Curious/concerned Dr. Phil's members want to know....
     
    hagrid likes this.
  15. Aug 24, 2021 at 5:26 AM
    #75
    TundraLLama

    TundraLLama New Member

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    I would disown him for getting a Tesla.Seriously. It’s the “me-feel good” generation. Tell him to figure out desire over need.
     
    Cpl_Punishment likes this.
  16. Aug 24, 2021 at 5:39 AM
    #76
    PermaFrostTRD

    PermaFrostTRD Tumescent Member

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    Probably already been mentioned in the thread, but I want to reiterate: You're his father, not Enterprise Rental company. It doesn't sound like money is an issue for him/ you. It's not a good idea to freely hand out parenting advice, so I won't, but it would appear he's an adult and already past that phase where any kind of instruction and guidance will have any effect on him. His learning now will only come from experience & hard knocks. Maybe it's time to cut the umbilical cord.

    It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Offering the truck in a pinch and urgent / emergency situations. Which is great and what every parent wants to do. It would appear like your son thinks it's his truck to do with it as he pleases as long as he does (in his mind) the responsible thing and gives you advanced notice of when he intends on using it. But if it's nothing more than an inconvenience for you to let him borrow it "whenever" - pick your battles.
     
    Cpl_Punishment likes this.
  17. Aug 24, 2021 at 6:42 AM
    #77
    Nowhereman

    Nowhereman [OP] New Member

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    He won't change and his mom is a good person. We've been married 41 years.
    For some reason she cuts him more slack than the other boy.
    She knows it too but can't change. My Tesla son knows it and it pisses him off.
    I think that's why he acts like he does.
    I think also when he's old he will see what he's done with his actions.
    He's having a trailer hitch installed on his wife's Ford SUV but, he dropped it off at the dealer and they still haven't got it done yet.
    This will be the second day.
    I could of done it for him at my age in a few hours but, no way in Hell would he ask me to do it.
    Today, my wife is taking his wife over to the dealer to pick it up.
    He has to play golf with a client at Pebble Beach today.
    I raised em all the same and was firm with them.
    I'm good with my decision and his mom knows it.
     
  18. Aug 24, 2021 at 7:01 AM
    #78
    Bikeric

    Bikeric New Member

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    My opinion, you bought the truck to help the family when/if needed, not to provide a trucking service for someone else's lifestyle choice.
     
    g6t9ed and Cpl_Punishment like this.
  19. Aug 24, 2021 at 7:27 AM
    #79
    Bakershack

    Bakershack Critical of Noncritical Thinkers

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    Your son is in for a VERY hard lesson. Since your wife refuses to allow him to learn the relatively easy way - from his parents - he is going to face a MUCH harsher consequence of his attitudes and behaviors from the REAL WORLD. He probably doesn't realize it, but I'd bet that he is already having to deal with consequences of his attitude and leech mentality. It will only get worse, and he will lose good opportunities, after his parents are no longer around for him to leech off of.
     
    Kung likes this.
  20. Aug 24, 2021 at 8:14 AM
    #80
    TaquitoBandito

    TaquitoBandito SSEM #91, KitKat Aficionado, A Dancer for Money Exotic Dancer

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    You sound like you were trying to be a good person and come up with a solution to help your son and make your wife happy. However, you didn't establish any boundaries and opened yourself up to being taken advantage of.

    I do the same thing - A LOT. I'm always helping people and never ask for anything in return. I'm okay at first, because I like to help. But then I get pissed because people only get in touch with me to help them. I get used but I set myself up for being used. Hell, we moved from our former town about 6 years ago. 5 years before that, I "helped" a neighbor put in flooring in his entire downstairs. He told me he liked what I did and wanted to learn how to do it. He didn't have any money and was going to pay me by making me some BBQ.

    I spent about 4 days doing it - by myself. He just watched. I did everything, even put in the quarter round. I told him he had to paint it and caulk. His response, "I'll just pay somebody to do it." My personal BBQ for payment was a big party he threw for his family to show off his new floor. A few weeks later, he filled the downstairs with new furniture and a brand new flat screen TV.

    A few years ago, after not hearing from him since we moved, he called me and said he was going to sell his house. He wanted to know if I'd come out and fix some parts of the floor they damaged.

    Another lady from the old neighborhood called me last year for the first time in 5 years and gave me a speech about how I shouldn't have deserted my friends... Then she asked me if I would call the builder of her home and ask them to replace her driveway.

    I love to help people but I hate getting taken advantage of. It's taken me forever to realize that people are ALWAYS going to take advantage of me because I never set boundaries to my help. It was a freaking cycle. Add family to the mix and it's horrible because you are putting your wife in the middle. I guarantee that she sees where you are coming from but she's also hearing shit about you from your son. I get in the same situation with my stepdaughter. Unfortunately for you and me, your wife is almost always going to lean towards her child being happy over your own happiness, especially if you created the problem (by being "nice").

    The only solution I see for you is to talk it out. Your son wants to use your truck - fine but there's got to be some kind of cost or boundary to it. Whether it's helping you or your wife with a project or another sibling with something, or bringing you all along for his race or whatever.

    My stepdaughter would do this stuff to me - she'd go behind my back and bitch about me to my wife. Then I would get mad and do the same thing. You all need to sit down, establish some boundaries to your generosity, and talk it out.
     
  21. Aug 24, 2021 at 8:33 AM
    #81
    Darkness

    Darkness Allergic to white

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    Ride the Ducati to the race track.
     
    GODZILLA, snivilous, hitech and 2 others like this.
  22. Aug 24, 2021 at 9:09 AM
    #82
    2Tundras

    2Tundras New Member

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    [​IMG] Get him a Subaru Brat like this for his DucatiHauler.........OR a tricked out one: images_855872604b40490c96ae9e2338172d5ef2a01f22.jpg
     
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  23. Aug 24, 2021 at 10:28 AM
    #83
    Kung

    Kung Dead sexy

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    This right here is probably the best post in this thread, for one reason - or one word: "Boundary."

    Nothing wrong with wanting to help your 'kid,' but if your kid has *clients* he's not doing too bad in life. As such, and especially considering your wife is essentially on his side (or, at the least, not on your side, so to speak - no disrespect intended to her), you essentially have two choices:

    1. Give in and help him.
    2. Hold the line.

    Both suck, in a sense; if you give in and help, he might be grateful, but....that's about it, and nothing will have been learned. If you hold the line, he'll be fussy about it, but he's learning that some people have boundaries. (Whether or not it sticks with him is another matter.)

    As it is, it sounds like he's already somewhat engineering a solution, which is EXACTLY WHAT HE SHOULD BE DOING, especially since HE is the reason he's in the fix in the first place.

    Hold the line, bud. You're doing good. :)
     
  24. Aug 24, 2021 at 11:19 AM
    #84
    Uhhhh....

    Uhhhh.... New Member

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    You're the freakin man, Joel. And a nice guy. Great post.

    I, too, have been down this road. While I still say yes a lot to helping people (I genuinely like to help people, too), I've learned to say no over the years, when I need to.

    On a sidenote, Joel, if you have time this weekend, I could use a hand installing a new water heater. I hear you're good at that. I'll PM you the deails. See you 7am on Sat! :D
     
  25. Aug 24, 2021 at 11:20 AM
    #85
    Uhhhh....

    Uhhhh.... New Member

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    :amen:
     
  26. Aug 24, 2021 at 11:24 AM
    #86
    toyofan87

    toyofan87 Beer thirty

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    Darkness likes this.
  27. Aug 24, 2021 at 11:47 AM
    #87
    TaquitoBandito

    TaquitoBandito SSEM #91, KitKat Aficionado, A Dancer for Money Exotic Dancer

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    I'm on my way!!!

     
  28. Aug 24, 2021 at 12:05 PM
    #88
    Uhhhh....

    Uhhhh.... New Member

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    :rofl:
     
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  29. Aug 24, 2021 at 10:00 PM
    #89
    1lowlife

    1lowlife Toxic prick and pavement princess..

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    What, breastfeeding into the teens is wrong????:eek::eek2::oops:
    How judgmental of you...?:rolleyes:


    You know what I mean..
    Getting out of the house and supporting myself..:thumbsup:
     
    hagrid[QUOTED] likes this.
  30. Aug 25, 2021 at 3:50 AM
    #90
    Adam

    Adam New Member

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    You bought the truck as you thought the family should have one since he sold his. How much did the rest of you borrow his truck when he had it? Is he just figuring a little return the favor?
     

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